What would you say in a State of the Union speech?

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

I was perusing the Real Ultimate Power site (you know, the one about ninjas) and it struck me that if I was the president and was having the SOTU speech (well, I was thinking more about Finnish president’s traditional New Year’s speech, but the principle’s the same) I’d want to work the sentence “I love this country with all of my body, including my pee pee” somewhere in there. “This country’s so sweet I want to crap my pants” would also be great.

Also, immortal opening “Efficiency and progress are ours once more, now that we have the neutron bomb” would be nice to set the mood.

2

I’d want to deliver a perfectly standard one, but then end with Kang’s “forwards, not backwards! upwards, not downwards! And always twirling, TWIRLING, towards freedom!”

3

**Drastic ** would this include baton with streamers?

4

Drastic, that’s “Forwards, not backwards. Upwards, not forwards! And always twirling, twirling, TWIRLING towards freedom!”

But a damn good sugggestion. I’d have to completely agree with your approach, except I’d add a “I’m the king of the WORLD!” in there.

5

I would be like the movie “Dave” and pretend to die halfway through.

6

I wanna give a shout out to tha’ peeps who threw thier votes my way. Whassaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaap voters!

7

Four score and seven years ago, we had nothing to fear but fear itself! We choose to go to the moon and do the other things not because they are easy, but because it depends on what your definition of is is. Just last night, I asked my daughter Amy to read my lips. I see America’s future as a Great Society; therefore, effective at noon tomorrow, I will resign the presidency of the United States.

8

There’s a certain appeal in giving a regular speech, abruptly stopping, contorting your face oddly, saying “I have weasels in my trousers” and then continuing as if nothing happened.