Pathetic Geek Stories used to be a great site, but it seems like it’s only updated about once a year now. I guess those cartoons are a lot of work.
I think I speak for all of us when I say that reading about other people’s teenage dorkitude is extremely entertaining. So, what would you submit to PGS?
I’ll go first.
- There was a girl in my neighborhood who I used to engage in the usual childhood boy-girl antics with: cooties, name-calling, bicycle chases. By the time we were in high school, I was a short, shall we say, scholarly type, and she was the large-breasted, blonde captain of the cheerleading squad, running with a totally different crowd. I had a part-time job shelving books at the public library that only enhanced my popularity further. She used to come in once in a while, walk up to me deep in the stacks, and say things like, “Got lots of books to shelve there, ugly?” I figured she was being serious and actually thought I was ugly. In our school cafeteria, we had to line up in a narrow corridor, and I noticed that she started positioning herself right behind me, with both boobs firmly pressed against my back. This went on for weeks. I thought to myself, “God, why does Stacy always have to crowd me so much!”
Twenty years later I realized she was flirting with me. (At least two PGS stories end with this line.)
- Again in the cafeteria line. I was a big fan of All In The Family at the time. I had a really cool Edith Bunker impersonation that should have been a sure ticket to teenage coolness. One day I’m full into it, off in my own world, going “Ohh, Archie…” Then a kid interrupted my reverie in kind of an irritated voice: “What?” It was the very popular quarterback of the football team, whose name was actually Archie. It’s amazing how fast you can realize that you’re a huge dork. I think my balls actually shrank back to their pre-pubertal size right then and I had to start puberty again from scratch.
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