Go get laid, you dumbfuck.
P.S.
Hal Briston, that absolutely cracked me up!
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Stay away from Bill; he’s a cokehead loser who doesn’t love you.
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Invest 10% of every paycheck.
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Microsoft.
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Believe in yourself–you’re handome, smart, and capable. Never let anyone tell you different.
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You’re gay. Embrace it.
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Tell everyone you know to start practising safer sex NOW! This new disease is caused by a sexually transmitted virus that will be discovered in a couple of years.
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Go to graduate school.
Not much - I’d be afraid of screwing up what I worked so hard to have now.
Maybe ease up on the debt allocation a bit. But I’d be concerned if I met an older me (especially dressed in slip-ons, Cabin Creek jeans and a Cardigan sweater as I am today) at what she wasn’t telling me and what she was.
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Ditch the waitress she’s a waste of time, and she’s going to waste the next 3 years of your life and keep you out of the beds of lots of other chicks who you’ll regret not sleeping with later.
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Do not fill out that Nation’s Bank credit card app. . . yes they will give you a card, and no, you won’t be able to pay it off every month. Ditto macy’s
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Don’t lend your parents any more money.
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Ditch French at your foreign language requirement. . . add a new language that you actually want to learn.
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You’re going to meet a girl in the summer of '97, do not let her go without a fight, but do not hang onto her and let it keep you from meeting THE ONE, in the summer of '98.
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STOP yourself, Mike and Pat from going four wheeling in Mike’s month old truck, drunk out of your minds, in the middle of the night. Your friendship will never be the same after you get you face cut open.
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Women kinda like you, but you have to actually talk to them to if you want them to come home with you.
If she’ll cheat on him, she’ll cheat on you.
Don’t sell the TR3 (or the '53 Chevy)
When Rolls Royce goes Banko the first time, and you think it might be a good time to buy some of their stock, do it.
When the curly-haired blonde offers, say yes.
You’re father’s diabetic. Both his parents died of it. Get a clue.
Go ahead and go to work when you get your A.S. but go back and get the B.S. when you can, you’ll need it later.
oh, and it doesn’t matter if you hate Bill Gates. buy Microsoft.
Don’t worry so much about what other people think of you.
Stay away from junkies. If you know someone who becomes a junkie, cut them loose.
When the chance comes to move to Chicago to be with her, take it. Fuck the band. (see above)
In some ways, take yourself less seriously. In others, take yourself more seriously.
If you’re going to be sleeping with more than one girl at the same time, make sure the fucking door is locked.
Get out of the restaurant business and get a new roommate.
Bit the bullet and buy a new car, preferably a Honda. You’ll spend less money on car payments than you will on car repair, and you’ll have a car that works all of the time.
Lose weight.
Get a job.
Spend more time on your schoolwork and less time on social activism. Yes it’s important work but in 10 years no one’s going to remember or care but you and those memories aren’t going to pay the bills.
Get your ass to library and start studying for that exam on Saturday instead of spending your days surfing the net and playing Madden. These soil mechanics problems aren’t going to solve themselves…
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You are even better than you think. Take a loan and go to the TO Baby Leaf training camp.
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Yes you married her early. It will be worth it a hundred times over.
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Both of you, go to school while your net worth is low enough to qualify for student loans and before you start thinking of kids. It gets more complicated later on.
**Don’t marry her. Keep looking. Look for yourself, not for the approval of your parents or what is expected of you.
Don’t marry her. You’ll find the right one. She’s out there.**
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In a year you’re going to meet a great girl, and distance will force you to break up, but she’ll visit you later. When she does, don’t be overbearing. You two will eventually be in the same city again soon, and you’ll have your chance then. Otherwise you might find yourself stuck in the friendszone forever.
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Your dad is a dick. Quit trying to appease him.
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Even if you’re introduced through a “real-life” acquaintance, don’t let yourself fall in love with someone over the Internet.
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Don’t stop going to the gym. It was just starting to show benefits when you gave up on it.
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Don’t buy the big ass TV. You won’t have room for it at the new place and you’ll just have to sell it anyway.
Believe it or not, I worked out a code phrase in high school just in case this very situation came up. So I know I’ll believe my future self.
1.) Dave won’t be marching to the beat of his own drum in the '90s. He’s got a brain tumor that’ll kill him in the year 2001. Get him help, even though your Mom, aunts and uncles have pretty much disowned him. You’re the only one that still talks to him anyway, so no one else can do it.
2.) There will be a Sunday afternoon cookout going on when you get home after work one day in 1987. You had plans to go see a band play that night. STICK WITH WHAT YOU PLANNED! Besides, let Geoff get this one - it’s only fair.
3.) If Ken introduces you to a woman friend of his, tell her hello, nice to meet you, and never talk to her again (ties in with #2.)
4.) Look, they’re going to give you money to finish up with that degree. Why are you sitting on your ass?
5.) If you ask them out, more often than not they’ll say yes. That shy shit stopped being cute and endearing once you hit puberty.
6.) You’re going to spend your later years with only one “What if?” bugging you. So go take piano lessons and find out already.
Nothing! Just look forward to a great ride. There’ll be ups and downs, but life will be pretty good. Enjoy each day as it unfolds (except watch out for that last step on the construction site where you will get a nasty cut!).
I’m only 25 and going through major life transitions right now and will continue to do so for the next 5-10 years. If I was 35 i’d have better words but right now I do not.
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Just live. Stop worrying, stop being motivated by a fear or failing to live up to expectation and realize life is to be lived, not a tightrope to constantly worry about falling off of. There is no fun in that kind of mindset.
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Take things slower
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Make friends. Real, quality friends.
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Being more independent is a great thing.
[ol]
[li]Don’t let the engagement breakup that is coming in about 6 months ruin your self esteem for the next 7 years[/li][li]Definitely seize that opportunity to study in Australia again it was so worth it the first time around[/li][li]When that dream job comes along take it immediately don’t umm and ahh over the decision becasuse it will take you away from your family[/li][li]You are stronger than you think you are (see #2)[/li][/ol]
Other than that I would do the same things I have done (I took the dream job even though it was the hardest decision I have had to make - so far lived and worked in three different countries!)
On June 17th, 1997, at approximately 13:41 PST, you will hear an alarm followed by a faint hissing noise. When this happens, DUCK!
You’re beautiful! Your body is perfect! Quit thinking you’re ugly, and put on some damn makeup!
Oh, and please, please, dump what’s-his-name ASAP. Save us some time.
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Get the master’s in Library Science instead of history. If you still want something practical forget the teaching license and go after a nursing degree. It may not have as much prestige but you can work part-time and make lots of money.
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Cherish the man you’re dating and will marry. He’s the best person you’ll ever meet.
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Ignore his sister because she’s an idiot. You don’t know it yet but her mother is also an idiot. Don’t worry about it because your husband will always take your side over hers.
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Try for a child in your mid-twenties instead of at thirty. You’ll have more time to plan the second one.
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Buy a smaller house in a nicer neighborhood. It’ll appreciate faster and you won’t have to worry about the schools.
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Ignore your fear of rejection and send out everything you write.
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Stay away from Rhonda, Karen, Tali, Jan, Carol, Leslie and Barbara. Annie, Monica, Maria, Jennifer, Maura, Elisa, Joanna, Jeannette and Andrea are your friends.
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Your mother really is that dumb. Be grateful she’s on the other side of the country so you can feel sorry for her and limit contact to phone conversations. Once you have a child your relationship will get much better.
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You can’t change your brother so stop trying. He isn’t listening to you.
I turned 21 in 1970, but my list is surprisingly similar to those from younger posters. I thought maybe we’d get posts from young Dopers talking to their future selves.
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Start investing a little bit now, and you’ll be well set by retirement time. Don’t wait until you’re 35.
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Forget about trying to please Dad. You never can do that.
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Remember when Dad said you’d always be a failure? Remember when the old babysitter and Leave It To Beaver told you pretty girls would never want to talk to you? THEY LIED!
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The first time you get a chance to learn about computers, go for it.
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Don’t buy the Malibu. It’s cobbled together from 4 wrecks.
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Never buy a car with a can of Bar’s Stop-Leak in the glove box.
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Go to concerts. Half your favorite musicians will be dead in 10 years.
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Learn to play music while your hands still work.
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Those aren’t colds you get every spring and fall. You have asthma.
take better care of your teeth
you would love to teach later.
stay in college
the blue collar world lacks air conditioning
two words: berkshire hathaway