- For every beer you buy, put the same amount in your pocket. Use it to invest in a company called Microsoft. Sell in 1999.
- Don’t try to fit in, you’re never going to. Keep the long hair, goatee, and earrings. And you’re not going to change your mind about the tattoos. Go ahead and get them.
- When Fred asks if you want to meet his cousin, don’t put if off. She’s really great, even though it doesn’t last. Don’t worry when you turn down her proposal. You both end up happy with others.
- Speaking of Fred, tell him to stop checking out the girl in the house behind his. She might look a lot older, but she’s only twelve and in about seven years you’re going to end up meeting her and falling in love. Pick a more romantic way to propose though.
- You’re going to move to Vegas and meet an annoying guy in your apartment complex. The creepy vibes you get from him ARE correct. He’s going to kill his girlfriend.
- Even with the lower rent, Victorville sucks. Try Pasadena instead.
:eek: X 100 !!
Ok, this one is truly frightening. Maybe if you teleport back in time, you can stop him (or save her) rather than just opting for avoidance. Of course, that’s with hindsight’s good vision and all. But now I’m curious about the whole thing. Would you like to elaborate or is it something that’s just better left unsaid and not revisited? Gah, what a horrible thing to be even tangentially involved in. I feel for everyone around it. What an awful man.
::: shudders :::
I know of two different people who were murdered. I think at 21 there would have been time to warn both of them. I’m not sure it would have worked. One was killed by her boyfriend, the cop, the other by a next door neighbor. Both were friends of a sort, the second moreso than the first. Then there are the friends killed in car accidents. Should I warn them not to drive? It’s just a little complex if there’s enough life behind you…
Shibb, that’s terrible. And I was talking about, just like we all our, apparent specific hypotheticals. Don’t muck up our time travel by logic! We can’t save the world/everyone in our fantasies, just some. Didn’t you get the rules?
[A side note: Are you following me around the board? If so, how cool!! Should I offer to meet you in a different thread? Say around the middle of the night. I’ll be wearing my footie pajamas and a sweatshirt. I’ll be all ready too with some reaaaaaaall sexy hot chocolate. How YOU doin’? 
:p]
Yeah, it’s pretty awful stuff, this life stuff, sometimes. Other times it’s beautiful. To keep from going crazy I think you have to believe that the awful makes the beautiful that much more so.
Um, sorry, I really didn’t mean to become your stalker. Although I’m mostly harmless, so if you need a stalked I suppose I could. I was actually blushing when I read what you wrote, if it gives you any idea of me. I’m not so much shy as easily embarassed. It’s not unheard for women to take advantage of that for their own amusement. I’m just saying, is all. :: stammers awkwardly out of the thread, knocking over a vase and almost breaking a picture on the way out.
Wow. My first attempt at quasi-flirting and I failed miserably. I don’t think I’d better try that again. Apparently I’m really at it. 
So, see that wall over there? I’ll be the flower on it.
::: sneaks off herself and runs into door, sprawls on floor and breaks a front tooth :::
Sigh.
All those guys in college, especially the one you’re getting over right now? They’re fuckers. You’ll never find out why he did what he did, just deal with it and concentrate on having fun and getting good grades this semester. Have fun with all those evil men, but don’t put too much stock in them emotionally. You will meet the boy of your dreams a month after you graduate, but you will be too screwed up by the previous fucker to realize it. (Don’t worry, he’ll wait around for you even if you don’t notice him at first.)
Love your good grandma and try to call her more often. She won’t be around much longer, believe it or not. Ignore your bad grandma; she’s just trying to provoke you.
Forget that dumb second marketing major, it won’t do crap for you. Take more fun science and religion classes!
Eat better! Exercise! You’ll be pissed in a few years when those cute pants you just bought don’t fit!
See the doctor now. Your pets are giving you asthma but she can fix it. Don’t wait a year!
That Jetta you want? Don’t buy it. Its transmission will poop out on you in a few months, but the dealership won’t fix it because they don’t think anything’s wrong. That Golf is cute and has a lot of cargo room. Go for that.
First off, I think my 21-yr-old self would be so shocked by what I look like that nothing I said would sink in. I think I would have to do it sneakily, not letting on that I am her 38-yr-old self.
Also, I wouldn’t want to tell her anything that would make her do any slightest thing different, because I’m very happy with everything just the way it is, and it all would have been different if she’d/I’d done anything different.
So, assuming that nothing I say to her will change anything (just so this exercise can still be fun), I’d say:
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Good job not changing your name when you got married. Next time you get married, don’t change it either. You’ll really miss your real name and it will eat at you. (Plus, the marriage won’t last. Oh yeah, neither will this one, duh).
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Stop spending so much time worrying about whether or not to have children. Fate will take that decision out of your hands. Along the same lines, stop wasting so much time wondering what to pack in your childrens’ lunches and how to protect them from bullies, etc. (You aren’t having any kids).
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You’re never going to believe this in a million years, but you’re going to join the Army in a few years and it will improve your life a great deal.
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You know how you dye your hair blonde? Yeah, that really attracts men’s attention. Yet you don’t like attention from men. So you know what? Stop dying it blonde. Your natural brown hair suits you and it will help keep the pesky men away.
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You know how you wonder how men how can always figure out immediately how insecure you are and how they take advantage of you big time? And how you wonder if it’s somehow tattooed across your forehead in letters only manipulative men can read? Well, it pretty much is. Basically, you’re the first attractive young female to give them the time of day, and they know what that means. You’re soft and vulnerable. Stop being nice to them. Imagine and tough, competent woman and woman and act like her. After a while you won’t have to act.
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Along the same lines, if a man wants to have sex with you, it doesn’t mean he loves you. Somebody realllllly should have taught you that sooner. Or maybe you’re just slow on the uptake.
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Try harder in college, but more important, exercise more.
Ya know that work ethic thing you hold so dear? Ditch it. It is doing you no good.
Your employer does not care about the quality of your work, nor will your future employers. If they did, they would require your cow orkers to fix their own damn mistakes instead of passing them along to you. Oh, and stop fixing your cow orkers mistakes. Just shove as much product out the door as you are physically capable of, and who cares if it doesn’t work right when the customer gets it. Doing a good job will only get you reprimanded at your performance reviews for low productivity numbers.
Oh, and in the future, when you are in more customer service-oriented jobs, the same holds true. Giving good service and taking pride in a job well done will only get you verbal abuse from your cow orkers who are only there to collect a paycheck. And doing the job well when your cow orkers are doing it badly makes them look bad, which will factor negatively when your performance is reviewed to see if you pass your probationary period. Remember, whether you stay past ninety days has nothing to do with your job performance and everything to do with whether the guy/chick who is golf/drinking/groin buddies with the boss likes you.
OK, now that the bitter stuff is out of the way…
See if the 'rents will help you out financially so you can go to massage school. See, that’s a field where at least your customers, if not your employers, will appreciate you doing your job well, and if the customers appreciate it, eventually you can ditch the employer and take the customers with you.
Hey 21 yo kevja (1975),
Keep doing what you’re doing now. The rest of the 70s are great. It gets better every year. But pace the partying a little bit.
A mystery disease shows up in 1981 that will kill many of your friends. There’s nothing you can do, except practice something we all came to know as “safe sex.”
You’ll take a job at an insurance company in 1980. It’s a better job than you think. Everyday go in with a good attitude and do the best work you can. You will regret it if you don’t.
In 1987 you will meet a guy that you love, and who loves you. But DO NOT move in with him under any circumstances. It’s one of the biggest mistakes of your/our life. This is the most important thing the I (50 yo) can tell you (21 yo).
It gets even better with your/our family. Don’t worry. They support you in everything you do every year of your/our life, big mistakes and all. And to your credit, you do the same for them.
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Know how you’re thinking of switching majors from English-Journalism to English-Teaching? Don’t. Switch to English and take a lot of early ed classes since there’s no Education major. You’re going to decide in about 9 months that you don’t want to teach English, and realize not long after you graduate that you would rather work with little kids. You could have gone to grad school and become a kindergarten teacher by now.
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In two years your long term crush going to confess he likes boys more than girls. Set your mind and on platonic friendship now now now to avoid the “what’s wrong with me?” angst next year.
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Guess what? You shouldn’t declare workstudy money as income. (nice that I was informed this my senior year…)
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Your best friend is Colleen, not Sarah. Really. You’ll still be best friends when you’re 27.
Just so I’m not totally hijacking, a few couple more things I’d have to mention
7) Don’t stop working out. 220lbs of muscle is a lot more fun then 230lbs of fat.
8) Don’t sell the Maverick.
Eh, don’t mind revisiting it. Some people suck and people die every day. Mrs. Top668 and I formed an informal “hot tub club” in our apartment complex. Just about eight of us who got together at the hot tub every Friday night; BS, have a few beers, pull out the tunes, that sort of thing. One of the uninvited who made himself a part of the group ended up being a psycho who, when his g/f told him she was leaving, killed her, wrapped her in blankets and garbage bags, turned up the air, and lived with the body in the apartment for a couple of weeks. He didn’t drive, so one day he asks me for a ride to the pawn shop so he can get some money to go back to Chicago and get “straighted out.” I went over and helped him pack his stuff into my car and yes, I was in the apartment for a couple of minutes :eek:. Thats the last I saw of him. (he was eventually caught - in Florida.) Before anybody asks, we were used to her taking off for a week or two at a time, that’s why nobody thought anything was wrong.
As for what I’d tell 21yo self, just don’t grab him the day he’s leaving my apartment drunk and starts to fall down the stairs.
Peace - DESK
Loose the weight NOW!! And I MEAN “NOW”!!! You’ll look and feel TONS better! Honestly! There really IS a beautiful (i.e. stunning) girl under all that flabby stuff!!
Ditch the BLACK HAIR!!! It SERIOUSLY doesn’t suit you!
In a few years, you’ll meat a guy named M. He’s a liar, a total looser and loves drink more than anything else in the world. You’ll spend half your time clearing up all the (embarrassing to you) mistakes he makes. Avoid at ALL costs.
Don’t kiss A either…
Trust yourself. You know what you want in life and you’re just about to embark on the adventure that takes you there. (Hint: it’s a TOTALLY different direction to where you’re going now…)
DON’T have that fight with Julia - she really IS ill and will be ill for the rest of her life.
Oh and PS, you know that band you’re into? You ain’t gonna BELIEVE who you end up working for…
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Don’t lie to yourself. If you feel something is a bad idea it probably is, so get out, don’t hang about because it’s easier in the short term.
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“Pity” is not a valid reason for staying in a relationship. In fact, you are not even doing them any favours doing that. (This one I have often told people much older than 21 as well).
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Don’t waste your time worrying about bad things that might happen. If they can be prevented, take action. If not, cross that bridge when you get there.
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You have a lot more control over your life than you think. Stop making excuses or blaming external factors. (My 21 year old self would be right if they called me a hypocrite as I’m not cured of that one yet. True though.)
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Your love life is included in 4. Yes, you can actually help falling for jerks.
Memo to 21-year-old Sunspace, back there in 1984, from your 41-year-old Later Self:
- Ask Anna-Marie Hubbard out. If you don’t, you will regret it for the rest of your life. You’ll go to visit her at her parents’ place in Kitchener, and you’ll get this close to asking, and you’ll back off because of feelings of shame and unworthiness. DON’T.
(If this has already happened, pick up the phone and call her.)
If you don’t ask her out, you will, after it’s too late, discover just how many things you have in common, including an uncommon religion that you haven’t even heard of yet. She will meet an old boyfriend, get married, and raise a truly beautiful family. And you will be very happy for them, but you will never stop yearning for what could have been.
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It’s the summer between second and third year, and you’re studying electronics. You are infatuated with the new technology, but do not forget about your art. Electronics will give you a job, but twenty years from now will prove to be something of a dead end, stifling your creativity. Figure out how to get back to your art sooner, perhaps combining it with electronics.
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Draw. Keep connected to your art. It’s the only thing that is really you.
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Exercise. It makes you feel good and less shameful about your body. And anything that makes you feel less shameful about yorself will help.
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Trust yourself more. Backing off from that other girl will be a very good thing indeed.
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Avoid credit card debt. If you don’t you will screw yourself up and have to forgo all kinds of interesting things, like trips to Europe.
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Learn to be social earlier in life. This will make a huge difference.
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Don’t forget about Esperanto after you discovered it in second year. Yes, there is a larger world out there. It’ll be easier in the late nineties, because of the network-communications revolution that is barely on the horizon now, but that doesn’t mean you can’t start writing letters now. And then you’ll be able to go to all those youth-oriented mixer events that your later self is excluded from. Not only that… in five years the Soviet Union is going to fall and travel to meet the uncommonly-beautiful women of Eastern Europe will be available. This gives you enough time to learn the language. (See point 7.)
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Enjoy your sister and your mother. They won’t be around as long as you think. (Actually, from that viewpoint, you might not want to know about the nineties at all…)
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If you do want to stay in electronics, learn about computer networking. It’ll be far more important than almost anyone realises.
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Invest.
Don’t be a chickenshit - ask her out. Yes her, and that one too, not her as she’s got a big boyfriend.
Revise properly for those exams - if you don’t you’ll get a crap degree and end up working at the school you went to when you were 16.
Pay the Straight Dope fee - it’s worth it, stop moaning about the cost the dollar will be weak when they bring it in.
Be extemely happy that, at least until the age of 31, and hopefully longer, you will apparently have a much better life than one hell of a lot of people.
What ever strange thought processes and worldview you’ve developed that apparently keeps you from beating women, wanting to be beaten by people, drinking too much, wasting all of your money, not finishing school, getting into bad relationships, not marrying the right woman, etc., keep those strange thought processes and worldview, because apparently a lot of people don’t have them.
1 - Your marriage will be terrible, but you get a great kid out of it.
2 - Don’t buy the LeBaron.
3 - General investment advice.
To Me In Three Years From Now:
- You had BEST still be having a 4.0.
- If you go into hairdressing, I will slaughter you. Be a teacher.
- Are you married yet? Inquiring minds.
- Sorry about all the dumb things I’m doing right now.
- Hey, don’t even try to lecture me, you snatch. You’ll need a hell of a lot more than three years on me before I consider taking your advice.
Heh…I thought about mentioning this one. If past me gets lectured by future me, I’ll probably tell myself to kiss my ass just like I did every other authority figure.