What would you tell your 21 year old self?

In My Humble Opinion
101

Move to Canada you jackass!

Suprise. The anti-war movement is going to swell and eventually the rest of the country will discover that they were right.

You wanna find out what the war is about? You gonna find out it is packing out dead bodies and notifying next of kin. You wanna do that stuff, go work for a funeral home.

FTA You know you ain’t no hero. You ain’t using what balls you got.

You go in, you gonna spend 10 years trynig to make sense of it. There ain’t no sense of it.

If you really had balls, you’d run to Canda and make it on your own.

Damn! You don’t listen to anybody, do you?

Then stop whining about it, you screw up, you gonna have to live with it.

102

I’d tell myself:

*Sit down, shut up and learn some humility; you don’t know everything.

If you don’t treat your girlfriend better, she’ll leave and you’ll regret it for the rest of your life.

Go to rehab.

Don’t eat the yellow snow*

…not that I’d listen, damn arrogant punk that I was.

103

Fess up when you mess up

The amount of further lies needed to cover up one lie is staggering, and your memory is not good enough to remember them all.

104

See that man over there, the one that gave you the cheap engagement ring?
Run. Run now. Throw that ring over your shoulder as you run away fast.
There’s a boy in Freno, CA. Go get a job there and wait for him to grow up.

105

1986: put every single penny you have in Microsoft stock, and sell it all in 2000.

106

Its better to sell it in the late 90s, then buy a bunch of priceline stock and short sell it

107

That’s funny. The first thing I thought when I saw this thread was “Don’t go to law school.” I’m still waiting for those good opportunities to come my way, and in the meantime I’m deep in debt and worn out. I notice jgroub recommends law school too. I don’t get it. All the lawyers I know are miserable.

108

I would tell my 21 year old self not to automatically trust dentists.

I now realize that the vast majority of my fillings were “optional”, having been drilled into “potential cavities” rather than actual cavities.
I managed to obtain my old xrays when I moved to another country and asked for them to be sent. My new dentist showed me how I had been “over treated” by a dentist intent on finding something new every time to keep me hooked into a frequent treatment pattern.

Since then, I’ve asked to see the xrays before allowing treatment, asking if something might be a shadow or “artifact”. When a dentist backs down from his diagnosis you realize it’s not an exact science.

109

Very interesting. I’ve always suspected this.

110

Agreed. I’ve had the same experience.

111

My 21 year old self was way too naive, gullible and oblivious to even understand advice, let alone take it. But nevertheless, here goes anyway…

[ol]
[li]Another vote for eschewing credit cards, especially when taken at the behest, or for, someone else. That goes DOUBLE for student loans.[/li][li]Love isn’t everything nor does it conquer all. It’s just about the right place at the right time, lots of work and mutual respect. Bells, whistles and fireworks are for Fabio.[/li][li]You can’t control everything. Sometimes shit comes out of thing air. Like mental illness. Assuming you can always deal and cover yourself, just because you always have, doesn’t mean you can or will be able to continue.[/li][li]Lose your friggin’ virginity earlier. The damn thing isn’t Fort Knox and putting so much pressure on it only makes you more screwed up. Once you left home and had a stable, loving relationship would’ve been fine. Otherwise, age 24 will simply lead you to feeling like you have to marry that man. Whether or not he’s a good person is irrelevant.[/li][li]Cut ties with your mother, or at least establish boundaries and control. Do not wait ANY longer. Your life will improve dramatically and you’ll never realize how easy it really was to implement, because she is a nut of the highest order -and- evil. Again, do it NOW.[/li][li]This would come many years too late, but give up all of your fundamentalist religious ideas before they cause you even more heartache, nightmares, guilt and fear of hell. See them for what they truly are, in your own understanding. Opt for spirituality instead.[/li][li]Go to college immediately after high school and don’t give up the dream to teach. No. Matter. What.[/li][li]Live somewhere else. You’ve know since a very early age that you hate Texas, so go ahead and leave it whenever you have the chance. Because someday, you may not be able to get the nerve to. Don’t be trapped. Even join the Peace Corp.[/li][li]Jaceson should be your bestfriend, and your only necessary one, forever. That, and absolutely nothing else. Ever. Period. Do not try this at home. He’s great, yes, but you’ll ruin his life too if you persist and he deserves so much more than that.[/li][li]Last of all, and most importantly, when you eventually see an advertisement for Classmates.com, do NOT NOT NOT , spend many hours over the years looking for Paul. Or if you can’t not do that, don’t buy that “May I kiss you line?” due to the fact that it’s complete and utter hogwash. If you still persist in going ahead, see it for what it is (like you were able to at 17), him playing games, having fun and using you. Do NOT NOT NOT fall. Do NOT give up yourself and everything along with it. Do NOT try to commit suicide over him. Things may be hell, but they might also improve. However, do NOT expect that anytime before 36.[/li][/ol]

Ah. You ain’t gonna hear me anyway. Just try to do as well as you can and watch out for the ‘crash and burn’ of 1996. It will be your downfall. And don’t even go there with the clowns. It’ll only kill you and end up not mattering anyway.

:frowning: :frowning: :frowning:

On preview: I made 10 and I wasn’t even trying. Woohoo! I guess that’s some sort of accomplishment. Most Needlessly Talkative, perhaps?

:o <— me (at 21 and now) blah, blah, blah

112

Well, no doubt we could come up with some combination of retrospective investment moves that could maximize return since 1986 (that was the year I was 21 if you hadn’t guessed) but I was just trying to come up with something easy, obvious and profitable.

faithfool how are things now?

113

Thanks so much for asking. I’m gonna sound all whiny if I say they’re much, much worse, so let’s just believe the optimistic approach of that I can go nowhere but up from here.

That and I’ll use the Little Engine That Could mantra…

“I think I can.”
“I think I can.”
“I think I can.”

I hope.

114

  1. Your major is not going to get better. Stop it already, stop lying to yourself, and find something you really do love to do. There are chances all around - find one.
    If you don’t, go to work immediately after you graduate and take advantage of the booming economy. Grad school can wait until it hits the skids.

  2. Your mother is wrong. You can afford to travel. Do it.

  3. Drive home next year.

  4. You are dead right about him. He doesn’t love you. He never will. He doesn’t even like you all that much. Still, you are missing out on a huge, important (albeit painful) experience… and you will regret it later on when you find out that everyone is wrong about there being plenty of fish in the sea and all those other cliches. Not for you there aren’t. Run with this. Straight off the cliff.

  5. Try research. You’ll like that. Also, someday you’ll want a faculty member to be able to remember your name.

  6. Get thin now.

  7. Invest money now. You can afford that, too.

  8. Keep dancing. You love it.

  9. Hold closer to your friends.

115

I’ll be 23 later this month, so I don’t have much to say to myself.

Just this, Girl, if you have to buy your own engagement ring, THERE’S SOMETHING WRONG WITH THAT!!! Save your money for college instead.

116

  1. Switch majors now, and stay away from teaching. Public education will only disillusion you.

  2. On the bus ride back to college, at the transfer point in Atlanta, you will see a pretty girl from Chicago boarding your bus. You will steal looks at her throughout the bus ride and to your amazement she will get off the same transfer point as you in Columbia. You will offer her an apple, which she will take while you talk. You will find out she’s a freshman at the same college as you, and you have an amazing amount in common. Your best friend will walk over with you when you go to meet her later that week and fall hard for her, and for some bizarre reason you will want to back off, since as he correctly points out, you are technically dating someone at the moment. NIGGA-- (at this point I will grab myself by the neck and lift myself off the ground and channel Samuel L. Jackson) I WILL PUT MY FIST THROUGH YOUR TEETH IF YOU DO THAT. THEY’LL BE MARRIED AND DIVORCED INSIDE SIX YEARS. THIS IS YOUR CHANCE! NOW, NOW, NOW!

  3. Buy a good bicycle. It’s the only exercise you’ll ever stick with, so get something reliable and NOT the Huffy crap from Wal-Mart.

  4. Stop buying comic books. I cannot stress this enough. The thousands of dollars you pour into this hobby do not justify your addiction or obsession. Stop. Just stop.

  5. When you finally get on the internet, look into a program called “Flash Animation” and learn how to do it. Two guys, Trey Parker and Matt Stone, will show you the way. Another black guy will do something called “Undercover Brother”.

117

Can I back it up one year, and visit my 20-year-old self?

  1. Stop dating that guy you’re dating. He’s not worth it. Above all, DO NOT MARRY HIM. Get rid of him now. See #2.

  2. Here’s the name of a guy you will meet when you’re 27. Lord knows why you won’t meet him till then; the two of you run in similar circles and even have friends in common. Figure out a way to meet him NOW.

  3. Go back to school. An associate’s degree just ain’t gonna cut it.

  4. Don’t listen to your mother quite so much. Listen to your father a little more.

  5. Take chances. Don’t be such a worrywart.

  6. You know you want to do it. Take the time now and do it while you’re young and fit. Before you know it, you’re going to be 40 years old, with two kids, a mortgage, twenty extra pounds and a bum knee and you just won’t have the time or money or energy to hike the Appalachian Trail.

118

  1. See that guy sitting in the front room at the coffeehouse? Dark hair, long eyelashes, vaguely brooding and Byronic air? Do. Not. Go. Out. With. Him.

  2. On that same note, don’t kiss boys who have already said they’re gay. Even if they initiate it. That’s what’s known as being “confused,” and it’s better to be confused alone.

  3. Yes, you will get into grad school. With generous financial backing. But it’ll be an eight-year commitment, and you might want to take some time off to explore your other options first. Specifically, you’re going to wish later that you’d looked into teaching English abroad. Don’t be afraid to do stuff like that.

  4. Go to the dentist before your teeth start to hurt.

119

In the mid 90s there are a bunch of Y2K stocks that went up about 1000% in 1-2 years, then fell through the floor in early 1999. If you could time that right, coming and going, you could make a fortune easily.

Note to self at 21: When you’re about 26 years old you’ll hold a Cisco router in your hands and think, “What a marvelous invention! I should buy stock in this company.” Follow your instincts and buy $5-10k worth, then sell it when you’ve made $5-10 million.

120

I’m only 22, but I do have one important thing that I would tell myself a year ago:

Yes, it might be fun to work at the same job as your good friend. But listen up: she’s just using you in hopes that you’ll get her a job. After all, isn’t it odd that she only calls and wants to hang out when you have just gotten a job that’s better paying than hers? So if your boss mentions she’s/he’s thinking of hiring, don’t mention your friend. Or anybody you wish to remain friends with. Working with them could be fun, but office politics with friends is never fun.

Possibly one of the dumbest things I ever did.