Just wondered what people honestly think?
I have depression but would never admit it to anyone in life, shame or something. I don’t know.
I’ve struggled with it since I was about 4 or 5 (first psych eval was age 6), and most of the people I have been or am emotionally close to are also depressed (whether or not they have a diagnosis, or admit it). For me, it’s normal. It’s gotten to the point where I can be certain that if I really like someone and want to get to know them better, it’s going to turn out that they also have a history of depression/anxiety.
No judgement on my part against mental illness. Not sure what the majority of neurotypical people think… but they’re mostly boring anyway.
What would I think? “Oh good, I’m not the only one.”
I’ve been dealing with it since I was about 11 or so. I only realized it a few years ago and got a semi-official diagnosis last year. So I’ve had it for about 21 years now. Most of my family knows about it, but we don’t discuss such things. I’m just the crazy one that hasn’t settled down yet and does things that make the rest of my family go :dubious:
I would think, “How wonderful that you realize it and acknowledge it.” My life (and hers) was ruined by my ex-wife refusing to admit she needed help. I get depressed myself thinking how happy we might have been if she had just been willing to take a damn pill every day.
My fiance has always talked openly about how he was suicidally depressed a few years before we met. All I think of it is how grateful I am that he DIDN’T kill himself and that I had a chance to meet him.
People who are educated on the topic understand that depression is not a character flaw but an illness. In the old days people used to think that cancer was something to be ashamed of that you shouldn’t talk about openly, but nowadays most people have enough sense to realize that it’s just a medical condition. Depression is the same way. Some people don’t understand, but that’s because of their own ignorance, not because there is anything shameful about depression.
Good point. I too have known people that were very obviously mentally ill but couldn’t admit it and it caused so much chaos. You’re right that it is admirable when someone can admit they have a problem and try to fix it.
I would be concerned, the same way I would be if someone told me they had diabetes or arthritis. I would hope that they are getting the best possible treatment.
I am being treated for anxiety, and while not everyone is accepting, I don’t regret having told people. I certainly don’t regret getting treatment that has made a huge improvement in my life.
I’d tell them that misery loves company, but my misery is on leave while I’m on Prozac. Get thee to a prescriber for the correct meds. It is not necessary to be miserable.
Appreciating the replies thus far 
I’ve never really been to a psych because, well… I don’t know what to say and it’s expensive… Some of my family know I’ve been on medication but we haven’t discussed it and nobody but me knows how bad it really is. Argh… And then you get the people who are like I’m more depressed than you because…
Been like this as long as I can remember - depression, social anxiety (I can’t speak on the phone or catch a bus) and I’m a really bad insomniac from a young age.
Worst thing is I have nothing to be depressed about, I was never abused or had anything overly traumatizing happen to me. I’m afraid for that reason people will not accept me… For example my partners friend and her sister were raped by their stepdad as teens… People can see the justification in being depressed after something like that has happened.
Depression; among thinking, pondering, conscious souls, is somewhat inevitable. It’s ok to be depressed sometimes. It’s not ok to stay that way. I’d tell a family member or friend to “join the club” 
and always know that they’re not alone and they have people who ‘got their back’-no matter what. Depression is not a character flaw, it’s a human condition.
See, that’s what gets you. “I shouldn’t be depressed, nothing bad’s happened to me!” Sometimes it’s a chemical imbalance that doesn’t require anything “bad” to happen.
Among my social circle it’d be considered extremely shocking and unusual to find out that someone didn’t have depression.
I am lucky because depression is common in my family (both my sisters, my mother, and I are all medicated for it). I never had to worry about how to talk about it. In my case though, I was in extreme denial for a long time and attempted to throw away everything good in my life because I refused to admit it, even while my whole family was insisting I see a professional. After a year and a half away from real life, I finally ended up on antidepressants and I was thrilled to call up everyone I knew and tell them about the amazing change in my life. I might have been even more annoying than my mom was when she first found God (we finally came to an agreement that she will stop trying to convert me and I will gladly talk to her about any religious or scientific topic she wants).
Everyone was thrilled for me and my wonderful boyfriend took me back even though I had made his life hell until I took a hiatus on life. It has been 3 years since I went on medication and I love my life and my family and the support of everyone involved. The amazing thing is that no one in my boyfriend’s family openly talks about depression and I have no clue if any of them are suffering from it but they are also totally supportive of me and hold no hard feelings for how much I made my boyfriend suffer.
I feel so sorry for people who don’t have such strong support in their lives and it would be an entirely foreign concept for me to not be accepting and supportive of anyone who came to me with concerns about their own mental state.
Oh, I’ve mentioned this before but my first experience with being medicated was not a voluntary act from me and actually had nothing to do with depression. I was put on Citalopram because of terrible panic attacks I was suffering after a car accident. Once the attacks were under control, I started noticing the massive change in my entire person (mentally, physically…everything).
I have several friends and family members that I wish would come out and say “I have depression. And I am getting help for it.” Too many folks in denial.
I once had to answer a bunch of questions for my father’s caseworker while he was in a psychiatric hospital. One of the questions was “Has anyone in his immediately family ever been depressed?”
I had to laugh because I think that question is exactly the same question as “Has anyone in his immediate family been depressed or are they all liars?”
Obviously not every single person experiences depression but it’s seems so common the idea that NOBODY in a family was ever depressed strikes me more as an item on a family-wide lie scale.
I don’t mean to be insensitive, GreenTreeFrog, to your anxiety about admitting it. But I personally find it confusing that people are so timid about admitting to depression. I understand not seeking treatment (not that I’m in favor of doing that, but I understand it).
As an analogy, lot’s of people go months and months suffering from, say, leg pain, without seeking treatment. But I don’t know any people who actually deny they’re suffering from leg pain out of pride.
All physicians have some experience with psychiatry during their rotations during internship and residency and in med school. They can refer you to someone with greater expertise if they do not have the experience to do stuff themselves. If they won’t, get a new physician.
Depression is treatable with inexpensive prescription pills. You do not need insurance to be able to afford pills like generic prozac.
I’d think they have depression. That’s it.
Being depressed doesn’t mean you suck. It doesn’t mean you’re awesome. It doesn’t mean you can only socialize with depressed people. It doesn’t mean that you’d better run and get meds, or that meds wouldn’t help you, or that your life is shit, or that you should feel guilty for being depressed despite how great your life is. Doesn’t mean you’re weird, normal, selfish, kind- it doesn’t say a damn thing about you, except that you are depressed. That’s nobody’s fault, and nothing to be ashamed of or bitter about.
So you do two things: one, reduce the roles of people in your life who think having depression is something you should be ashamed of & replace them with more sensible folks. In fact, spend as little time as possible with anyone who thinks you’re crappy. Two, find a way (or several ways) to feel better that work for you- not just the standard routes like therapy and meds (though for heaven’s sake, consider therapy at least), but take a look at your lifestyle and environment and see what you could change. For example, if you find that you’re lonely, try opening up to people more, or if you find that you don’t do anything for enjoyment, try things people tend to enjoy.
I’d tell them I was there for them, ask them if there was anything I could do and go from there. If they wanted to talk, I’d listen. If they wanted to not talk about it, that’d be cool, too.
No judgement, no shame.
It took me a long time to open up about it to my family. Even though serious psychiatric illness is rampant in my extended family, it wasn’t something that was ever openly discussed as a possibility for me or any of my siblings. My parents are from the old school where any admission of sadness or mental imperfection is met with accusations of exaggeration and/or hysteria. When I was in my early 20s, I tried to talk to my mother about my deepening withdrawal, and she told me I was just reading too much. Talking to her about stuff gave my mother an excuse to preach to me about God and my lack of faith. So when I first started going to psychotherapy, I didn’t tell a soul.
Eventually, however, I felt compelled to open up. My father wanted me to go to a family function when I was in the midst of medication experimentation and extreme suicidality, and I couldn’t muster up the energy to come up with a good lie. I know it hit him like a ton of bricks because he was so calm and collected about it (which is the opposite of his normal state). But I also know that for him, it must have been like finally hearing the other shoe dropping. He had to have been at least a little relieved that the waiting was over and now he stop ignoring the 800 lb gorilla in the room.
The world didn’t come crashing to an end. My family has been nothing but supportive, and while I’m not chatty-cathy about my problems (if I was, I wouldn’t be going to therapy), I’m not so private and secretive either. I never bring up the topic with them, mind you. But the shame isn’t as bad anymore.
Being secretive and private about it makes it worse. You don’t have to wear a t-shirt and broadcast your business to the world. But the shame eats you up inside and impedes the recovery.
[QUOTE=The Second Stone]
Depression is treatable with inexpensive prescription pills. You do not need insurance to be able to afford pills like generic prozac.
[/QUOTE]
not necessarily - a close family member suffered from depression all her life even with extensive medication and psychiatric therapy. Prognosis can vary wildly.