Ask The Guy Who Worked As A Private Investigator.
Also, Ask The Guy Who’s Held A Security Clearance, but it’s been done, sort of, and there’s not much I could answer. 
Why would I ask myself questions? 
Ask the guy who won’t guarentee you like the response anything you want.
I want to do an “Ask the software engineer” thread, but I just haven’t had the time lately.
Ask the convert to Judaism.
Mine would be “Ask the amateur magician/mentalist”, but it would die a quick death as I refused to actually reveal the way the tricks are done.
oo, oo…
Ask the Silicon Valley Homeowner.
yeah
Standardized testing and No Child Left Behind Act come up every now and then in SDMB threads.
Ask the standardized est person.
Ask the Gibraltarian;
Ask the former life model; 
Ask the aid worker;
Ask the Dominican Republic expat;
and several others guaranteed to cure insomnia. :o
Ask the bird owner
Ask the expert rubber band flinger
Ask the medical technologist. But please wait till June so I can pass my certification exam and make it legit.
Ask the French-Canadian chick.
Ask the woman in a long-distance relationship.
Ask the guy with the dirtiest car in the parking lot.
Ask the guy who hopes no one claims the Ipod in the lost and found.
Ask the guy who’s tired of fighting with his wife.
Ask the Caretaker.
Ask the Baker.
Ask the Former Middle School Teacher.
Ask the guy who just ate 4 grams of Shrooms.
Kidding! Just kidding.
Ask the chocoholic biostatistician.
Ask the amateur cinematographer.
Ask the liberal midwesterner.
10 points off for misspelling “test.”
As for me…
Ask the mildly bipolar girl.
Ask the Dune fan(atic).
Ask the fraternal twin.
Ask the unmarried 31 year old educated atheist woman.
Ask the bummed-out slacker.
Ask the guy who’s road-tripped National Parks and Monuments from Acadia to Zion.
Ask the dressage rider.