The "Ask the..." Anthology (or, every single "Ask the..." thread)

This is now version IV as I have done this three previous years (all on November 2nd).

It has ALMOST every “Ask The…” topic since the beginning to, well, yesterday, although a few aren’t here. Basically in order to get onto this list the topic must have gotten at least 7 replies. So if you don’t see your topic here, you may want to think back to if it garnered that many responses.

Also, this year I was lazy with the alphabetizing, so I just tacked the newest ones onto the end (and didn’t bother inserting them into the previous year’s topics). This is because it would have taken forever…however I DID alphabetize the new ones on their own.
Also, a lot of the links/topics that were broken last year SHOULD be fixed what with the topic archive put back in place. I tested a few and it seemed like they all worked but if anyone comes across any that don’t, just list them and I’ll take them off next year’s list.

Have fun reading. You could spend hours on this stuff.

Age/Time Specific

Ask the Other Teenager*
Ask the 1950s style ex-Teddy boy
Ask the 50’s Dad
Ask the 50’s Mom
Ask the American Teen*
Ask the Australian Teenage Guy…
Ask the Canadian Teenager…*
Ask the five year old child Ask the male teenager*
Ask the nomadic Mormon teenager
Ask the other teenage guy!*
Ask the pimply teenage fast food worker
Ask the Teenager!*

Jokes, Parodies and “Teh funny”

Ask Hulk
Ask a Moron!
Ask that Hindenburg Annoucer Guy
Ask the ‘time traveler from the future’*
Ask the Apathetic Guy.
Ask the Average Guy!
Ask the Cat*
Ask the Cat*
Ask the Chronic Procrastinator
Ask the Complete and Total Asshole!
Ask the Cranky Old Malcontent
Ask the Dalek
Ask the Dead Chipmunk
Ask the emu!
Ask the Easily Bored Person
Ask the Evil Overlord*
Ask the Evil SuperVillian*
Ask the evil villian who is about to kill you once and for all!*
Ask the Extraterrestial
Ask the Felcher
Ask the guy who claims he’s 4000+ years old
Ask the guy who doesn’t have any answers!
Ask the Guy Who Doesn’t Like to Answer Questions
Ask the Guy who has become Death, the Destroyer of Worlds
Ask the guy who just lost a bet to the devil!
Ask the guy who just saw Goblet of Fire
Ask the guy who knows very little about Puff Daddy
Ask the guy who misunderstands followup posts
Ask the guy who say TROY!
Ask the guy who will reply in image
Ask the Guy Who Won’t Reply to Any Questions
Ask the guy who’s got a lot of time on his hands and enjoys talking about himself
Ask the man who’s having a religious experience RIGHT NOW!
Ask the guy with all the answers
Ask the hamsterette!
Ask the hung-over, department-store Santa
Ask the kid who doesn’t know much of anything
Ask the King of Awsomeness!
Ask the Living Avatar of GURTHEK, Lord of All He Purveys and Pretender to the Flown
Ask the Mycon
Ask the Passive Aggressive Guy
Ask the PMSing Woman
Ask the person who has seen Mel Gibson’s THE PASSION OF THE CHRIST (spoilers likely)
Ask the polydimensionally motile intergalactic alien.
Ask the Psychic*
Ask the Psychic*
Ask the Putz!
Ask the Raving Lunatic
Ask Supernova!
Ask the Supreme Leader
Ask the Time Traveler*
Ask the Toaster!
Ask the anti-Cecil
Ask the argumentative bastard
Ask the Devil’s Advocate
Ask the Member of an Internet Message Board
Ask the Messiah. No really he came here to answer
Ask the person channeling Hillary Clinton
Ask the Protocol Droid
Ask the Stanist

Member Specific

Ask Dr. Happy O. Lendervedder, leader & leadership authority
Ask Inigo Montoya
Ask Miss Nym
Ask Q.E.D anything!
Ask Qadrop’s Kid!
Ask Superdude!
Ask the Governor
Ask Torgo!
Ask Winston’s Co-Workers

Ask A Short Fused Pyromaniac With Issues Gal!
Ask the AI
Ask the bandwagon-hopping #3 chick
Ask the former stripper/current housewife( and mother)/raving bitch.
ask the guy taking a third sick day on a monday with a bag of frozen peas between his legs
Ask the guy who lives around the corner and just likes to say things…
Ask the guy who’s downloaded at the Retrosheet baseball data into a database.
Ask the Iditarodaholic…also restaraunt manger…
Ask the Internet Oracle Priest.
Ask the Lord
Ask the magic 8 ball*
Ask the Magic 8 Ball*
Ask the Magic Crystal Ball!
Ask the Mythbusters!
Ask the girl with the makeshift Ouija board
Ask the straight, white, married, employed guy
Ask the Wacky American Chick Who Watched the Soviet Union Collapse
Ask the white, male, upper middle class, somewhat conservative, taxpayer

Nationality, Race, Religion, or Location Specific

Ask the (atheist) Hindu
Ask the Aid Worker in Iraq
Ask the Alaskian Guy…
Ask the American ExPat™ who lives in Brazil
Ask Another Muslim Guy*
Ask the Arab Guy
Ask the Asocial Korean Teenager Living in Guatemala…
Ask the Baha’i Woman
Ask the Black Guy*
Ask the Black Guy*
Ask the BLACK WOMAN!!! nothing is too ignorant…i hope…
Ask the Brit bloke*
Ask a Catholic*
Ask the Catholic Guy
Ask the Canadian, eh?
Ask the chick from/living in Missouri!
Ask the convert to (Conservative) Judism
Ask the Doper who lived in the Boonies
Ask the Drunken Irishman.
Ask Eritrean Guy
Ask the ex-Morman
Ask the Ex-Pat (a Yank living in South Africa)
Ask the fairly average British bloke*
Ask the former Cuban Communist!
Ask the Gora Sikah
Ask the Guy From Montana
Ask the guy in Bagdad
Ask the Guy in Mosul, Iraq
Ask the Guy in Saudi Arabia
Ask the guy in Tbilisi, Georgia
Ask the Guy Who Claims to be from Delaware.
Ask the guy who went to the Episcopal General Convention
Ask the Hindu/Indian Guy*
Ask the Hindu*
Ask the Indian living in India
Ask the Iraqi Information Minister
Ask the Irish Bloke*
Ask the Irish Guy?*
Ask the Islamic Guys
Ask the Isreali Guy.
Ask the Jewish settler
Ask the Kiwi bloke
Ask the Man in Japan
Ask the Melungeon!
Ask a Methodist!
Ask the Mexican Guy!
Ask the Middle Class White Guy
Ask the Mormon*
Ask the Mormon Gal!
Ask a muslim*
Ask a muslim man
Ask the New Orleans Guy About Mardi Gras
Ask a non-practicing Catholic
Ask the Northern Irish Person
Ask the Orthodox Christian
Ask the person from a small town in Southeast Kansas!
Ask the Satanist
Ask the Shi`a Nizari Ismaili Muslim Woman
Ask the Singaporean guy!
Ask the Swedish-born Egyptian guy living in California
Ask the Swedish Chick!
Ask a traditional Catholic*
Ask the Turk
Ask the volunteer in Camaroon.
Ask the WI guy!
Askin’ the Alaskan*
Ask the (white) African
Ask the American
Ask the British Asian-Indian guy
Ask the Finn
Ask the guy in Dubai!
Ask the Islandic dude
Ask the Los Angeles Native
Ask the Pakistani Guy
Ask the Swedish Guy

Opinions and Thoughts

Ask the Anarcho Capitalist
Ask the atheist, 15 year old, male Hoosier.*
Ask the Atheist*
Ask the Atheist Guy*
Ask the atheists
Ask the Commie Bastard!
Ask the Conservative Christian Theologian!
Ask the Conservative Evangelical Christian Hopeful Universalist
Ask the Crazy Chick Who Believes in the Mythos
Ask the Creationist
Ask the Former Creationist/Biblical Literalist
Ask the female Pagan college student…
Ask the former John Bircher…
Ask the Grammar Harpy
Ask a guy about abortion
Ask the guy raised in an Orgone-energy-believing household
Ask the guy wearing a nice pair of brown wing-tips about love, life and his outfit
Ask the Guy with the Greatest Lawn Care Advice Anywhere! Got issues? Check in here!
ask the guy who wants to help you listen to better music
Ask the Guys who are in Love with Techchick
Ask the Horsewoman
Ask the Libertarian*
Ask the Libertarian Objectivist Christian
Ask the Neo-Con!
Ask the Neo-Pagan Guy
Ask the Nihilistic Anarchist with unpopular ideas about the world
Ask the person openly bearing various prejudices
Ask the person who knows a lot about Irish traditional music.
Ask the Practical Libertarian
Ask the quiet gal!
Ask the Randi $1M challenge applicant
Ask the Seminary Student
Ask the surrealist!
Ask the Woman Who Had an Abortion
Ask the woman who put a child up for adoption
Ask the guy who’s about to radically alter his appearance (long intro)
Ask the homeschooler
Sexual Preference/Gender Based

Ask the (former) Asexual
Ask a black gay guy!
Ask “The Straight Eye for the Gay Guy”
Ask Bi Guy, (or ‘Cheffie takes one more step out of the closet’)*
Ask the bisexual male teenager*
Ask the child raised by two gay men
Ask the closeted bisexual guy!
Ask the Gay Guy’s Housemates
Ask the Bi Guy; and, The Great Bisexual FAQ (Part 1)*
Ask the gay guy*
Ask the Gay KID
Ask the Lesbian!
Ask a Man
Ask the Not A Guy
Ask the straight guy*
Ask the “straight” guy*
Ask the Straight Guy
Ask the straight married turned lesbian
Ask the Transgendered Person
Ask the Uber Hetro-Male

Talents. Hobbies, and Groups

Ask the (returned) Peace Corps Volunteer
Ask the (sort of) Linguist Guy
Ask the Americorps member
Ask the Australian Gun Owner
Ask the bloke who’s forgotten more about cricket than you’ll ever know
Ask the British History Geek
Ask the BDSM Guy
Ask the Chief Resident
Ask the Dairy Farmer’s Daugher.
Ask the DDR Player
Ask the Disney Freak!
Ask the E3 Guy*
Ask the E3 Guy*
Ask the ex-Furry (please don’t spit on me)
Ask the Firearms Historian
Ask the Former Restroom-Sex Afficionado (in light of the Sen. Craig scandal)
Ask the Freemason
Ask the Geography Maven
Ask the guy who’s just read Lord of the Rings
Ask the guy who knows way too much about Futurama
Ask the guy who knows way too much about the tsunami
Ask the guy who lives in a pro-dominatrix dungeon
Ask the guy who plays too much Guild Wars…
Ask the guy with a Zune
Ask the Harry Potter Nut
Ask the hockey guy
Ask the Horse Person
Ask the irritated E3 guy.
Ask the Linguist
Ask the NASCAR fan
Ask the nudist
Ask the paintball player
Ask the pro poker player.
Ask the Recumbent Bike Rider
Ask the SAHM. Please. I need to talk to grown ups.
Ask the Soft Paws User (Kitty-Related Thread)
Ask the Straight Dope Frat Boy! ™
Ask the Street Fighter Master
Ask the Terrible Advice Fairy
Ask the Unitarian Universalist*
Ask the Unitarian Universalist (aka the liberal wacko)*
Ask the breastfeeding mom
Ask the Bulwer-Lytton contest judge
Ask the Cyber Dom/Sadist
Ask the diplobrat
Ask the guy who is pretty good at SF Story Identification
Ask the guy who just went to an Obama rally…
Ask the Juror
Ask the Nude Beach Enthusiast
Ask the Poolhall Guy
Ask the Sadist
Ask the Sociolinguist
Ask the United Church of Christ Member
Ask the Wannabe Nun
Ask the Wife who also happens to be a 24/7 sex slave (TMI possible)

The Things That Make Us Different (but not any less of a great person!)

Ask the adoptee(s)
Ask the Anosmic
Ask the Aspie
Ask the autistic person
Ask the chick with dreadlocks
Ask the Color Blind Dude…*
Ask the crappy eater
Ask the Deaf Person
Ask the depressed person…
Ask the Diabetic (possible TMI)
Ask the drunk guy
Ask the fertility patient.
Ask the girl with bipolar disorder
Ask the girl with glasses
Ask the fat guy!
Ask the guy being treated for anxiety and OCD…
Ask the guy in Eyeliner!
Ask the guy on dialysis
Ask the guy who doesn’t make blood!
Ask the guy who’s severely color-blind*
Ask the guy with a really small dick
Ask the Highly Sensitive Person
Ask the hydrophobe!
Ask the learning disabled student.
Ask the man with one testicle
Ask the only child
Ask the Paralyzed Guy
Ask the person with an anxiety disorder.
Ask the Poor Girl
Ask the right handed guy
Ask the Self-Injurer
Ask the Synesthetes
Ask the Synesthetes (reprise)
Ask the Twin
Ask the Dwarf (or little person, or any other term you want to use)
Ask the High Functioning Autistic
Ask the recovered from an anxiety disorder person
Threads in a Series/Has Sequels

Ask the comic book guy
Ask the comic book guy 2
Ask an Elf on Summer Vacation
Ask an Elf Just Back on the Job
Ask the Muslim Guy*
Ask the Muslim Guy, Part Deux
Ask Michael Ellis (Parte Dos)
Ask Michael Ellis
Ask the teenager!*
Ask the Teenager II !
Ask the Gay Guy!
Ask the Gay Guy II!
Ask the Gay Guy III!
Ask the Gay Guy IV!
Ask the guy who works in a chain restaurant
Ask the chain restaurant worker, part: the two!

True Stories, Stunning Feats, and Impressive Achievements

Ask the 8+ month pregnant lady…or just entertain her with your horror stories.
Ask a transplant recipient
Ask the (soon-to-be) Bone Marrow Doner*
Ask the about-to-be-married chick or ACK only a few hours left of my singlehood
Ask the almost journalist who wants to ask the journalist
Ask the Bariatric (weight loss) surgery Guy.
Ask the Bone Marrow Courier*
Ask the Cancer Survivor
Ask the Celebrity Bartender
Ask The Columbia Shuttle Recovery Guy
Ask the convicted felon
Ask the dopers who have gone through fertility treatments.
Ask the Drug Addict
Ask the former group home resident
Ask the Former Lurker!
Ask the former state Class A chess champion
Ask the former teenage drug dealer
Ask the former teenage runaway.
Ask the gal who just had Bariatric Lap Band installation
Ask the gal who just had total knee replacement surgery
Ask the Gastric Bypass Patient Who Tried Everyting Else Before Resorting to Surgery
Ask the girl who just spent 2.5 weeks in China
Ask the girl who was in the hospital
Ask the girl whose house burnt down
Ask the Graveyard Shift Worker!
Ask the Guy Who Stared at Bill Walton’s Back for Three Hours
Ask the guy who’s getting married in 146.5 hours
Ask the guy…with a hundred boomerangs
Ask the guy with the contact lenses surgically implanted in his eyes
Ask the guy in the Jeopardy! UToC
Ask the guy on steriods
Ask the Guy Who Got an Early View of “Deep Sea 3D” [w/ spoiler boxes]
Ask The Guy who just had an Emergency Appendectomy!
Ask the guy who just had an MRI
Ask the guy who just had LASIK surgery*
Ask the Guy who just read all seven HP books back to back. (Probable Spoilers)
Ask the Guy who just saw Goblet of Fire
Ask the guy who used to frequent hookers!
Ask the Guy Who Was Banned for an Hour!
Ask the guy who’s rereading all of Heinlein
Ask the guy whose seen almost all of the James Bond movies.
Ask the hetrosexual virgin!
Ask the high school graduate.
Ask the Jew Who’s reading the “Left Behind” Series
Ask the lucid dreamer
Ask the man who can play a whole damn Baroque guitar suite! Oh yeah.
Ask the Man Who Had a Colonoscopy
Ask the Medi Marijuana Patient
Ask the Mom of a Preemie
Ask the New Father (with pictures!)
Ask the Ohio provisional voter!
Ask the psychotropic drug guy?
Ask the rape survivor
Ask the Recreational Drug User!
Ask the single-sex high school girl!
Ask somebody who actually stayed in a Holiday Inn Express last night anything!
Ask the straight-A student
Ask the Study Abroad Student
Ask the Undertaker’s Daughter!
Ask the Unemployment guy
Ask the young guy who just had open heart surgery.
Ask the (former) crackhead
Ask the Adult Child of a Hoarder/Clutterer
Ask the cancer patient(s)
Ask the Chick who just got an EEE PC
Ask the Doper who remarried her husband
Ask the EXCEL guy
Ask the former prisoner
Ask the gaijin that just spent $600 on kimono
Ask the Gal who just saw the Pope at Yankee Stadium!
Ask the girl who just had an ablation
Ask the girl who’s read…
Ask the guy that had LASIK 24 hours ago
Ask the guy who just did the stupidest, or maybe smartest, thing he’s ever done
Ask the guy who just had a colonsocopy
Ask the guy watched a full season of 24 in one day
Ask the guy who lost his virginity
Ask the guy who’s hiking the Appalachian Trail
Ask the guy who has seen every episode of the Dukes of Hazzard
Ask the guy who just saw “Memento” again (OPEN SPOILERS)
Ask the guy who uses Paragon CRT Instead of Lasik surgery
Ask the Hearing Daughter of Deaf Parents
Ask the resident alien
Ask the surrogate
Ask the girl who just had lipo, breast lift, and breast implants
Ask the woman who nursed a 4 year old

Work Specific

Ask the not-for-profit employee

Animal, Cultural, Enviormental and Literature

Ask the Artist!
Ask the Certified Floodplain Manager
Ask the chicken person
Ask the Children’s Book Editor
Ask the Conservator
Ask the Dutch botanic/field biologist (and psychologist on the side)
Ask the Environmental Psychologist…
Ask the Guide Dog Puppy Raiser.
Ask the guy with a book deal.
Ask the guy who just finished writing a book.
Ask the guy who works with marine mammals
Ask the Museum Girl
Ask the Service Dog Handler/Trainer…!

Athletics and Sports

Ask the (ex) wrestler

Customer Relations, Service, and Dealing with People

Ask the 911 Calltaker
Ask the apartment maintenance technician
Ask the Auto Finance Manager/Car Sales (wo)man
Ask the (big chain) Video Store Clerk
Ask The Barista… (Coffee girl, to you)
Ask the Bartender!
Ask the Bicycle Mechanic.
Ask the Bookseller
Ask a Bra Professional…
Ask the Cab Driver
Ask a car salesman
Ask the College Dining Hall Employee
Ask the corporate bank manager
Ask the Direct Marketing (Call Center, Telemarketing, Junk Mail) Professional!
Ask the Enology Student
Ask the ex phone sex operator
Ask the fast food manager!
Ask the (former) Interpreter
Ask the Former Phone Psychic
Ask the Insurance Operations Guy!
Ask the LensCrafters eyeglasses consultant
Ask the Liquor Store Clerk!
Ask the person who works in the adult industry thread.
Ask the Pest Control Guy!*
Ask the (former) Professional “Psychic”.
Ask the Remodeler
Ask the Server
Ask a Starbucks bartista anything!
Ask the Sunglass Consultant!
Ask the Termite and Pest Control Guy, Part II*
Ask the Theme Park Character
Ask the Ticket Broker
Ask the Underwear Sales Girl!
Ask/Talk To the Hotel Night Clerk
Ask the village shop owner
Ask a waiter!
Ask the waitress!
Ask the (wedding) Photographer.
Ask the Patent Examiner (in training)
Ask the psychiatrists’ receptionist
Ask the Certified Floodplain Manager
Ask the Mod


Ask the (not quite) starving Opera Singer!
Ask the (word) puzzle editor!
Ask the aging rock star
Ask the ballerina!
Ask the Blackjack Dealer!
Ask the Broadcast Professionals (or what would you like to know about advertising)
Ask the casino dealer…
Ask the former news reporter!
Ask the Improv Theatre House Manager?
Ask the nightclub guy
Ask the Opera Singer(s)
Ask a Poker Dealer…the floor is open.
Ask the pornographer*
Ask the pornographer (solo and GG stuff, no hetro, sorry)*
Ask the Pro-Wrestler
Ask the Professional Belly Dancer
Ask the Radio Host
Ask the Stripper!
Ask the technical theatre guy
Ask the TV News Guy
Ask the Vaudevillian
Ask the Freelancer
Ask the guy who used to work at a major daily newspaper
Law enforcement/Military/Government

Ask a former prison guard.
Ask the 911 Dispatcher
Ask the Air Force Guy, again
Ask the cop
Ask the Debt Collector (Ouch, stop hitting me!)*
Ask the Diplomat!
Ask the Draft Board member
Ask the firefighter!
Ask the (hopefully) future Peace Corps volunteer
Ask the girl who deals with tax protesters everyday!
Ask the Internet Abuse/Fraud Investigator
Ask the lawyer about tort reform laws
Ask the maximum security prison physician
Ask the Military Recruiter
Ask the Militia Guy!
Ask the murder trial juror!
Ask the Newbie Politician
Ask the Peace Corps Volunteer/TEFL teacher in Bulgaria
Ask the Prison Guard
Ask the Private Investigator
Ask the reformed debt collector*
Ask the tax lawyer!
Ask the U. S. Air Force guy!*
Ask the former TSA screener
Ask the guy who’s entering EOD (Bomb Squad) School
Ask the occasional German lay assessor judge (Schöffe)


Ask the Audiologist
Ask the Dermatological Medical Assistant
Ask the doctor with first-hand SARS experience
Ask the emergency vet tech
Ask the first year medical student
Ask the forensic pathologist - or, Last chance to pontificate
Ask the Guy who makes Adult Spaces FUN!
Ask the Medical Billing Specialist
Ask the Medical Student!
Ask the Optician…
Ask the Planned Parenthood Nurse
Ask the Dermatological Medical Assistant
Ask the medical technologist
Ask the Paramedic

Music based

Ask a Drummer. aka Ask a semi-successful musician.*
Ask the Drummer!*
Ask the guy who’s touring with a Broadway show.
Ask the Music Director
Ask the percussionist/drummer
Ask a singer

Ask the Architect
Ask the Copy Editor!
Ask the EXCEL Guy
Ask the guy who works on an oil rig
Ask the Graphic Designer
Ask the IT Guy
Ask the Microsoft Employee
Ask The Product Standards and ISO Guy
Ask a Software Engineer/Developer
Ask the Structional Engineer!
Ask the Web Designer/Web Host
Relationships/Dealing with people

Ask Dr aha, sex therapist
Ask the substance abuse counselor

School based/Scientific

Ask the (student) Vet
Ask the Academic
Ask the Anime Student
Ask the Biologist!
Ask the Bored Virologist!
Ask the Culinary School Student!
Ask the English teacher living in a foreign country.
Ask the exhausted grad student
Ask a Mathematician
Ask the Middle School Teacher
Ask a nuclear submariner
Ask the Peace Corps Volunteer/TEFL teacher in Bulgaria.


Ask the Airline Pilot who just switched from Passengers to Cargo
Ask (or vent to) your Fed-Ex guy!
Ask the freight train conductor
Ask the high-performance driving instructor
Ask the railroader
Ask the small airplane pilot
Ask the trainee traindriver.

Ask the -blank-
*Denotes threads that are the same but were made by different users.


Thank-you, once again, for taking the time to compile these.

SSG Schwartz

Sure thing. I don’t have anything else better to do.

No, really.

You are bookmark material.

At least until the next version comes out. ; )

This is awesome! Thank you. I never EVER would have guessed how many of these threads there are. And I’m sad I missed the Ask the Five Year Old Child thread in the first go-round. nocturnal-tick should do an updated thread: Ask the Nine Year Old Child.

Then he could be added to the “Threads in a series/with sequels” category, huh?

I’m with beanpod, I had no idea there had been so many of these. Thanks for compiling them.

Would it be bad manners to start my own “ask the” thread in the near future, what with outdating the list and all?

I don’t think so. I do a search of the last year’s threads with them…exactly a year from now. So I’ll be bound to catch it next year. :slight_smile:

I figured I’d give this a shameless bump since it’s about the halfway point between “versions”.

Where’s the " Ask the Slave in a 24/7 Master/ Slave relationship" thread?

It either:

  1. Wasn’t made yet at the time of this topic making
  2. Had less than 7 posts
  3. Possibly had another title (and didn’t start with “Ask”)
  4. Was unavailable for other reasons at the time

OH…or 5. It IS on the list and you just didn’t see it. :stuck_out_tongue: