Please address which of my personalities you wish an answer from.
Hoping I can get some help from Opal (FS), Shirley (CH(M)).
I believe I can handle all questions directed to Raving Bitch Sue on my own. 
Do you think the Sacajawea dollar coin will, as has been posted in many threads, mark the demise of the stripper industry?
I think it’ll be okay as long as you warm it up before depositing it.
Will you dance for me? In any of your personas; I’m not choosy.
Only if you can sing, “Is a Rock Alive” for me…for that’s how you appear in my dreams.
Thank you Dr. Raving Bitch for taking my call.
Can you give us mortals any tips on how best to relate to raving bitches ? I’ve never had much success and any advice you could give might help me stay married a few days longer.
Um, did I miss something here?
Anyway, Is a Rock Alive? I’m sorry to say, I have no idea how that song goes, but I do have a roll of warm Sackies.
Hey Doc! How’s it hangin’?
Dr. Raving Bitch says: There is no hope for you! Pick up your underwear, hang up your f-ing towels, put the toilet seat down and throw out your nasty-ass used Q-tips! It’s a wonder you ever got through life before your wife saved you.
Housewife would like to say: There’s no hope. Sorry.
You must have missed my post here: http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=27969
Damn, and I thought you were just happy to see me.
Are you the hottie that your seem to be from your posts? especially this one?
That’s really all I wanna know.
Thanks again Dr. Raving Bitch for helping me get my mind right. I’ll be sure to do exactly what you suggested. I sure appreciate the help !
Another question, Ma’am if you’ve got a minute. How does one learn to be a raving bitch ? Is there a book or something I can buy for my daughter or is it something that you’re just born with ? I’d hate for her to miss out on her proper place in Bitchdom.
Hey Unc…mighty low, man, mighty low.
Sue the F.S., would say: Of course, except I’m not wearing a shirt. Got a $20 for a lap dance? No? Can you get a cash advance on your credit card…we do them right at the bar?
Sue the Housewife would say: Of course, but now I just wear industrial strength bras under my tight little t-shirts.
Sue the Raving Bitch says: Listen Sport, I can tell from the picture on your website that your a smartass, but I’ll wipe that shit-eating grin off your face when I kick your ass at the pool table. Pansy. Oh and Jujubee, you WISH!
You sound like my girlfriend. This weekend, she said she was tired of dealing with “the twins” and was gonna get breast reduction surgery. How shitty is that???!?!
Yeah, I never was much of a pool shark.
Which is the best way to pacify a raving bitch?
a)Haagen-Dazs?
B)Mace?
Raving bitches are created through observation. It’s tradition.
The best way to help your daughter is to sit in front of the television like the lump of flesh that you are until your wife yells at you. You should then listen patiently, apologize profusely and slink off to work to make more money for her. You can try to give input in the way your daughter should be raised, but your wife will just nod and ignore you.
Remember, you have no control because you’re an idiot.
c) Tell her she’s right. Apologize for being so grossly inadequate (never criticize her spelling). Let her gloat. THEN take her out for Haagen-Daaz.
You may even get laid if you follow these rules, but be prepared to go down.
[NOTE] Some raving bitches are truly insane, it’s important to know the difference. If she is irrational, she’s a raving bitch. If she’s irrational and violent, she’s insane. Use mace.
I saw this thread and thought “hey, who’s starting threads about me?!?!”
Well if I’m needed, you know where to find me.
Dear FS,
How did you become a stipper? I mean, did you answer an ad in the newspaper? Tracked down by a head-hunter? Was it something that you wanted to do? Was it the money? Were you down on your luck or do it on a dare?
Sorry for the rapid-fire questions, but the idea of being a stipper is so alien to me that I have a bajillion questions and do not really know where to start. It stems from the fact that I met a stipper at a friend’s bachelor party who said she had a masters degree in Journalism and was stripping for money so she could travel around before settling down and using her degree. I suppose she could have been lying, but it raises the fascination that someone would actually choose to be a stripper. I tended to have the idea that it was women down on their luck that really needed cash or somehow got roped into doing it.
I hope that does not sound preachy because it is not meant to be. I would really like a discussion/interview on the events and mind-sets that led up to your being an “exotic dancer”.
Regards
Hello dear.
Would you ever lapdance for a woman? Seriously?
Nice to know there’s another one of us out there!!