As a supervillain, I know how hard it can be to navigate the twists and turns of Global Conquest. In the interests of being helpful, and getting more Supervillains to distract my foes from ‘Project Ravana’, I’ve decided to share my wisdom.
You can ask any question about Evil Overlord Psychology, Methods, and nearly any other aspect of the buisness. I take no responsibility for the purpose you put the knowledge to.
For practical reasons, I won’t give out technical data on traps, devices, or specific information about my plans.
Are you my father?
Are you my illegitimate half-sibling?
Are you my step-mother?
Will you force females to be scantily clad?
Do you have trouble finding good minions/henchmen? Where do you get yours from?
Where do you find the very desirable real estate that supervillians always seem to use?
You know… underground bases, domed underwater cities,
lost civilizations of advanced nature that are eager to be your willing dupes, orbital space stations, mountains shaped like skulls that you can fly airplanes in & out of. Like that.
No, I am not your half-sibling, nor am I illegitimate.
No, I will never be a step-mother. Maybe step-FATHER, someday.
No. Not that I would mind…
I used to have great trouble finding minions, then I discovered Necromancy. Now I just cast my spells and the unhallowed dead arise to serve me. I’m training them to build robots.
I’ve gone from caves to ruined towers to hotels. The only good places I’ve had are the ones I’ve built. Generally the old ones get destroyed, but occasionally I give one to a valued servant.
The only really good place I’ve ever found was the Lost City, but the only native was a slime monster. You’ve never seen so many tentacles.
Why is it that most of your brethren feel the need to divulge all pertinant data as to how the evil doomsday device works, and the exact location of the self destruct button for said device? Also, why the need for clues to super heroes?
I don’t know. My guess is that they like to boast, probably out of a need for praise. I add a self-destruct as a safty measure, but only I know how to activate it. I believe it is far more practical to kill the sap, or lie and trick him into doing my work for me. Of course my brethren seem to lack anything resembling common sense.
The Muffins, from the planet Muffin. What other kind of Muffin would be invading? Invasion Muffins? Yeah right. Those guys have been exstinct since… well… since we made them extinct. So just don’t cross us, and you’ll do fine.
I am not related to any of those people. I’ve only even met one of them; and if I ever see the Grinch again he’ll curse the day he stole my Christmas Tree!
Are you responsible for the incredibly awful marksmanship training given to all Imperial Stormtroopers, evil James Bond villain minions, and Wile E. Coyote? Why does hi-tech seldom equate to competance?
