If you haven’t seen Peter’s Evil Overlord List, it’s a collection of things one should not do if they’re planning on being an evil overlord. Sadly, however, Peter hasn’t updated his list in quite some time. So, I was thinking that since we’ve got some of the brightest minds on the planet here (or at least one’s that think they are), what better group to come up with more suggestions of what not to do?
For starters, I wouldn’t keep back up copies of my clone in the same location.
Secondly, I wouldn’t hang out in trendy bars that the hero’s likely to show up in.
Third, if I develop some fiendish weapon in which I plan on using to wipe out multiple cities, I won’t have a wildly elaborate method for putting it in to use.
Swimming the Mississippi even as we speak!
Note the tie; disquised as that Tucker guy they will sneak into your…no, you won’t trick me into revealing our plans!
A paltry $1 trillion? Hell, buckaroo, I’ll make it two, and even throw in a side order of chili cheese fries… on the condition that you have my armada of battlecruisers ready for galactic conquest inside of two decades.
Hmm. Could be tricky, but I think I could pull it off provided I didn’t have to spend any of it on weapons development. Deal! Large triangular battlecruisers okay with you?
Hah! I’ve seen this one before: And then some wack television station engineer with an Apple Powerbook deciphers your number base system, rewrites the STONED virus in it, compiles it, uploads it to your main computer, then commands his rapper astronaut wanna-be excuse for a pilot to fire two roman candles at your docking bay manager’s office and hightails it back to safety. Betchya don’t have that one on your resume, do ya?
<taking SPOOFE aside> See, this is what you get for dealing with brash upstarts without checking their references first. Mom sez you have to play nice with your little evil overlord friends or you can’t have them over any more.
Have you never been to Krystal? Never gotten hungry during a late night World Domination[sup]TM[/sup] planning session and had to go out for something to eat? What kind of Evil Overlord are you? One that keeps 9-5 hours?
Oh, I don’t think that’s ever been a problem with this design. Do intend to do some work changing the steering controls on these things, however. What good is a giant starship if it handles like a cow?
After all, when he listed Henchmen, he didn’t cover the essential “Femme Fatale” catagory. They act as lieutenants, seconds-in-command, assassins, spies, and occasionally mad scientists, Laboratory Assistants, or Occult Acolytes. Also, they are your Main Squeeze.
