I don’t really know where to put this, but I have seen and read through “ask the gay guy” and was just thinkin maybe someone could volunteer to do “ask the straight guy”…
And I already have a question for him… (My sexuality is on the fritz, but that’s beside the point)… Would a totally straight dude have fun/sex with a she-male? Would they think of her/him as she or he???
I wouldn’t engage in any sexual activity with a shemale for two reasons. I don’t like dick and I’m not about to stick mine in the mouth, hand or ass of someone who has a dick. Plus the shemale is uncertain about their physical sexuality, something is keeping them from removing their three piece set but they have tits? Make a fucking decision already. They’d have to be unsure or unstable about other things in their life and I wouldn’t share that kind of intimacy with a trainwreck of a person like a shemale.
Well I would ask you a question but I’m straight too and I feel well…uncomfortable discussing sexuality issues with a fellow heterosexual man, I mean… not that you’re a sissy mind you, not at all, I can tell by your post you’re very butch, but well… people might talk and beside I’m straight. What could you tell me that I don’t know?
How to check out a woman out with an instanteous, surreptitious glance - covered
How to fix things - covered
How to be to willing to die for a woman who crumples your soul like a Kleenex and tosses it away - covered
How to be stoic - covered
How to avoid doctors until it really, really hurts and they have to do sometime that’s much worse than it would have been otherwise if you had only seen them earlier - covered
How to barbecue - covered
How to put the fear of God into a daughter’s teenage suitors - covered
To answer the OP:
No; I don’t want to do anything physical with a female impersonator, if that’s what you mean by “shemale.”
astro just about covered the rest of it. What’s to ask?
No, no. Unreservedly no, and again no. I appreciate a good set of breasts, but not so much that I’ll fall into bed with any creature purporting to possess them.
A complete post-op transsexual is a different matter, and difficult to answer. All I can say is that I have never, ever, ever met one that I found convincing enough to fall for. The procedure is, at best… well, um, a mere approximation. I admit in such a situation the putative seductress would have a better time getting my attention if I didn’t know–and that’s not very likely, based on what I’ve seen. I tend to be pretty alert about human behavior.
I generally call people what they prefer to be called, even if it doesn’t match what I think they are. I don’t think of a she-male as either male or female, but as somebody who ought to make a decision and stick with it.
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“A complete post-op transsexual is a different matter, and difficult to answer. All I can say is that I have never, ever, ever met one that I found convincing enough to fall for.”
—How do you do, Fish?
As you are “alert about human behavior,” you should know that there are several transgendered folk on this board, and you might want to tip off piratz and heptapod that we DO have feelings. I, by the way, have dated men (and done more than dated them) who never had the slightest clue to my past, which I consider unimportant and none of their business.
P.S. Oh yeah, now that I think of it: I used to be a five-year-old. I assume you don’t like the idea of having sex with a five-year-old, right? But you have no trouble having sex with someone who used to be a five-year-old, do you?
Hello, Eve–I do well, thank you.
I realize fully that there are people of every variety on the Internet, in all forums, in all places. However, if someone asks for an honest answer, then expect that I will not censor myself to what is politically correct, or to the kind of answers you would like to hear. Therefore I stand by what I said and how I said it.
I will also concede that I may possibly have already met post-op transsexuals that I could not identify as such, which is why I phrased my answer as I did. “Based on what I have seen,” etc. I am arrogant, but not quite so arrogant as to think I’m infallible.
I also know several transgendered folk on other forums on the Internet and we have discussed these things before. Gender relations fascinate me, and I have watched a special that featured several MTF and FTM post-ops that were, in fact, very convincing. One MTF had a job as a stripper; the bar patrons had no idea, and I would not have, either. They also showed one that was less than convincing. As far as I could tell, the show was balanced and fair.
I realize there is a time to be discreet and a time to be honest and forthcoming. I even admit as such in my first post: that it would be easier to get my attention if I weren’t aware of the “woman’s” past. And, from your indication that you conceal your past from men you date, you evidently realize the same thing.
I know only a little bit about the SRS protocol, and I have to admire someone with the temerity to make a difficult decision, and carry it completely through. It is not a choice I would ever make for myself–I’d probably make a terrible woman, and in any case, I’m happy as I am. I congratulate you on your courage and resolve.
But the question is, do you care what I really think, or would you prefer me to lie or keep silent? My suspicion here is that most of the men (possibly myself included) find it a question too dangerous to the vaunted male sexuality to ever admit they can be bamboozled by a skilled surgeon. As a result, I doubt many answers here will be particularly honest–most are accompanied by posturing and chest-thumping that isn’t particularly informative.
I can be fooled. I do not believe I have ever met anyone personally who has fooled me, but then again, how would I know? The biggest obstacle to such an affair is, as I said, knowing the truth. I know that I would want to hear the truth, in any relationship; there is no substitute. I will continue to be honest when I am asked for my honest opinion.
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Dear Fish—
In the interests of keeping this very civilized and out of the Pit, where it has no business being . . .
• “I will not censor myself to what is politically correct . . .”
There is such a thing as being hurtful in the so-called name of “not being politically correct.” I entered a perfectly innocent thread, curious as to what would be in it, only to find myself called—essentially—a disgusting unlovable freak. Can you at least undewrstand hwo I would be hurt and upset and depressed by what I have read here?
• “One MTF had a job as a stripper . . .”
I know transsexuals who are, let’s see . . . a research scientist, an airline pilot, a doctor, a factory worker, another writer . . . Don’t know any strippers. I wish those bitches would stay off TV and giving everyone a skewed idea of what we are.
• “. . .your indication that you conceal your past from men you date . . .”
I don’t date anymore, as 99% of men think the way you do, When I did date, I certainly didn’t lead off with it right after we met—I waited till thing s looked like they were getting serious.
• " . . . the temerity to make a difficult decision . . . "
Wasn’t a “decision,” really. The decision was made before I was born; I just had to follow up on it.
• " . . . would you prefer me to lie or keep silent?"
Why, yes, I would, now that you ask!
Eve, I believe Fish responded in a honest, thoughtful, and considerate way. If your feelings are hurt by a man saying that he may not be physically attracted to you, then you are far too sensitive. Actually, all he seems to be saying is that he’s not attracted to penises or masculine women. And I don’t think he meant to imply that stripper was a typical job for transsexuals. The reason why the show would feature someone like that is to show that medical techniques can create a very convincing female-like physique.
Eve,
I understand how you can be hurt by what you read here. It also appears as if you have been hurt by previous relationships, with men who were unable to accept the truth, and who think as I do. What I said should not have come as any surprise. I do not deserve the entire responsibility for all that you have undergone, or the rejections I presume you have had.
As for TS strippers, consider it entirely possible that born women don’t appreciate born-women-strippers for the same reasons you cite. I don’t like being lumped with the Average White Male, who drinks beer and watches football, but complain as I might, nothing changes. You are not alone in objecting to stereotypes in which you find yourself. You yourself categorized by saying “99% of men think the way you do.” Is that not a generalization?
This forum is, after all, In My Humble Opinion. I was asked for mine and I gave it. If you did not want to read anyone’s opinion on the subject, you could have stopped reading after piratz and heptapod’s responses. Mine was fifth from the top. You already said that 99% of men think this way; were you planning to read 99 insults before getting to 1 note of acceptance?
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Ok. I’m straight, more or less, so here are my thoughts on the matter.
Firstly it should be noted I’m not hugely interested in sex one way or another. Yes, I really am male. I’d be lying if I said I was totally disinterested, but it simply isn’t a big thing for me.
I don’t really know if I’d be willing to have sex with a shemale. Probably not, but that’s where the ‘more or less’ aspect of my sexuality comes in. I think it’s a ‘you have to be there’ judgement.
As to a post-op transexual, absolutely no problem with it. I have no objections to the idea, nor can I see any good reason I even might. (Ok. To be fair if it was really badly done - Basically looking like a man except with the ah… equipment, I might be put off purely for reasons of not being attracted to them, but that’s a different matter entirely).
You have no idea how tempted I was to pit you for this. Do you tell Bi people “Are you gay or straight? Make a fucking decision already”. If you do then I am definitely going to continue this in the pit. Just because they don’t conform to what you believe is normal you think there naturally has to be something wrong with them? Seriously, have you ever even met one? More than one? Exactly what are you basing a statement like this on?
For the record, this is purely a reaction on an intellectual level. I’ve never met someone who is (damn, lacking a phrase… Cross-gendered?). I just have an extreme dislike for prejudices.
Why does a ‘shemale’ have to be a ‘trainwreck’ of a person? What if it IS their decision to have a ‘three piece set’?
If you’re not attracted to men who dress like women and have had breast implants, more power to you. But to assume they’re unstable, unsure or haven’t made decision is naïve at best, mean at worst.
Don’t get me wrong, I understand they’re are some folks in that type of situation that haven’t made a decision. Even in those instances, calling them ‘trainwrecks’ certainly doesn’t help anything.
Fish, you are perfectly right. I long ago came to the realization that the vast majority straight men (Kitarak, thank you for proving me wrong on that “99%” thing) find me to be a hideous, disgusting and unlovable freak. It’s not fair, but it’s reality.
The only thing I will call you on is the idea that you are impelled to share all your views and opinions. I am a firm believer in being polite and keeping my mouth shut when voicing my opinions will not only do no good, but will needlessly hurt people if I air them. If that makes me “politically correct,” so be it.
chula, while Fish and heptapod expressed their opinions honestly but that’s no excuse for being hurtful and calling it being politically incorrect. Fish used the term creature and heptapod expressed the uninformed opinion that preop transexuals were uncertain of their gender and described such people as trainwrecks. How can this not be seen as hurtful? They could have answered the question without adding their bits of ignorance.
Their attitudes beg for a Pit response. Here’s my tidbit of education:
The term shemale is generally considered a derogatory term and many, probably most, are just preops working their way through the system until they can get their surgery. They can’t just decide to have it done and get it as long as they have the money. Their needs to be a period of time living in the role of their chosen gender and then psychiatric evaluations approving them for surgery need to be presented to a surgeon before he will do the surgery.
Of course not, kitarak. I say nothing of the kind to bisexual people, of whom I know only a few, and those only online. I would also not say anything of the kind to a “she-male,” however you choose to define that term.
I already indicated that I will call someone what they prefer to be called, regardless of my personal opinion on the matter. That is the only polite thing to do. However, I was asked what I think, not what I say. I was not trying to explicitly insult any person.
There are people in the world who are bisexual, hermaphroditic, and many other variety of creation. They can be whatever they want to be. I have no objection whatsoever to what anyone is–that is, I will not intervene, or support intervention. I am appalled by news that born hermaphrodites are forcibly made to choose at birth. It would be like forcing left-handed people to conform, as was once done–or like forcible religious conversions, or like brainwashing. The idea of forced conformity disgusts me. However, a man who elects to get breast implant surgery, but not SRS, is beyond my comprehsion. That is a choice I do not understand.
I don’t understand transvestitism, but I don’t ridicule or point to any such person in public. My behavior in public is very tolerant. I am not, however, physically attracted to TV. I have not seen a TS to whom I am attracted. I have not personally met anyone I knew to be bisexual, so on this I cannot say. I only know “She-Male” as the porn video section I habitually avoid. I can even say that there are born women to which I am simply not attracted. Am I to be reviled for this as well, or does that imply an insult of all women?
I was asked how I felt on the subject and said so. If this constitutes an offensive answer to what was already a volatile question, I apologize, but so be it.
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I am not reviling you, Fish, I’m sure you are a very nice person. And far be it from me to insist that everyone be attracted to me. Hell, I am a dumpy middle-aged woman—I would be hugely surprised if I wound up in People’s “Most Beautiful” list.
But, as you feel you must be “honest” and voice your opinion, so must I be honest and say that the opinions of yourself, piratz and heptapod are a knife in my heart, and that reading this thread has ruined what was otherwise a cheerful day for me.
Sometimes being “politically correct” is not a bad thing.
Fish: Sorry, that was mainly directed at heptapod. OTOH you did say they should “Make a choice and stick with it”. You are right though that it’s a rather volatile question, and I’m not too impressed with piratz for asking it.
Incidentally it was my impression that many people who (argh! I simply don’t know the correct terms for this) don’t posess a well-defined gender (I really don’t like the phrase ‘shemale’. It seems insulting) aren’t so because they’ve had surgery t add breasts, or something like that. They are often so naturally. I recall reading a new scientist article that said some things to that effect, but unfortunately I don’t remember the details and it’s not online. Can anyone back me up on this?
Eve: You’re welcome. Unfortunately, as you no doubt know, I’m one of the more open-minded members of the ‘straight male’ group. Many men who I would consider to be otherwise perfectly decent people can be very closed minded. I think this is changing, albeit very slowly, but I can’t be sure. We can only hope. 
Eve, do you want to start smacking heads together? This ain’t the Pit, so I can’t fully express my opinion of the three posters who have so callously hurt you.
You are NOT in any way “a hideous, unlovable freak.” Those three might be, but you most definitely are not. you are a swet, warm, intelligent, charming, and witty woman who I admire greatly, and if you were a F2M transgendered person, I’d date you, if I were single.
Gender is a matter of the mind, not the plumbing. My own opinion , which I expect neuroscience will eventually confirm, is that there are separate switches for gender in the brain and the body. Sometimes, the orientation of the body is to be one gender while the brain is oriented to another gender. Thus, you have someone born male, yet whose brain says is female. Gender reassignment surgery is just repairing a birth defect and makes what was broken, whole.
Eve is a dear, gentle, adorable person and nobody better mess with her!
I apologize if what I have said hurts you, Eve, but it is only my opinion. We differ, I think, in how and when we choose to express our views. On the matter of gender relations, and relationships in general, I believe there is a dearth of honesty and a surfeit of posturing. For the record, I despite “locker room talk,” I never talk about sex or intimacy with anyone but my SO, and I have yet to point to a woman and say, “Hey, check out the gazongas on her.” I find all of this disgusting. It certainly inhibits true communication.
I, too, hate the term “she-male,” not only because it is demeaning, but mainly because it is undefined. Two people may come up with vastly different definitions. This is not the way to communicate, either, so I explicitly referenced a complete post-op TS in my initial answer, to make clear the division. My use of “creature” was perhaps an outdated, objectified term that has been applied to women, but I did not mean it in the sense of “non-human.”
When the OP says his “sexuality is on the fritz” and asks a question of a straight guy, I think it’s important for that person to have an honest response. It may change his mind; it may reinforce his decision. That isn’t the point. There may be hundreds of people who wonder the same thing, who need an answer, and for whom silence will be of no use. My answer was not directed at you, but at piratz’s query. If he were planning any permanent changes based on the expectation that straight guys would love him for it, then I believe he deserved numerous, and honest, answers–whether those answers were yes or no.
Whether being “politically correct” is always or never a good or bad thing is, of course, a completely different argument.
Again, I apologize if I hurt you, Eve. It was not my intention.
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