So I was talking with a friend of mine (who happens to be gay) about gender and sexuality issues and I mentioned the “Ask the Gay Guy” and ralated threads here on the SDMB. We both agreed that these types of threads were a very useful forum for demysitifying groups to which you may not belong (or expanding your idea of a group you identify with).
At about this point my friend said “sometimes I wish I had that for straight people. I’ve never been straight so there is a lot I don’t understand” (this is a paraphrase, but think it captures more or less what he was trying to express). I tried to think whether I had read or seen an “Ask the Straight Guy” thread and I couldn’t remember any. I did a search for “Ask the Straight Guy” and came up with one thread that fit the bill. It was posted a number of years ago and had a total of 30 replies before it was closed by a Mod. The OP titled it “Ask the Striaght Guy” but ended up asking for the opinions of straight men as to whether they would have sex with a transitioning male to female Transexual.
In my opinion the thread was a trainwreck, though not as bad as it could have been (kudos to the mod who closed it).
What I’m wondering is whether we could have a meaningful and informative thread with the title “Ask the Straight Guy”. I’d like to think we could but I’m afraid that the thread would be swamped with stupid gender stereotypes (Why do you leave the toilet seat up? Etc…) and other inanities.
I think a truly good thread on this topic would challenge straight peoples’ ideas about what is ‘normal’ behaviour for a straight person. I think it also might be helpful for gay people to see how straight people deal with the sorts of questions that gay people are asked all the time.
I have a hard time coming up with good questions to ask a straight person, mainly, I think, because I am straight and it can be difficult to ask yourself the good questions that others really want to know.
So after that long preamble, I am wondering: do you think an “Ask the Straight Guy” thread would be informative and not a trainwreck? Also: does anyone have any questions for a straight person? It would be interesting to know what they are. (I’d be willing to answer them, though I’d encourage others to do so too).
Does it have to be a straight guy? Do gay people of either gender believe they already know what it’s like to be a straight woman? (I’m not being sarcastic here.)
Sorry, I should have been less specific. I was coming from my perspective as a straight man. I tried to broaden it a bit in the later part of of my post, but I wasn’t really clear.
I Think there are at least a few angles to look at this from. One way of looking at it is gay men and women interested in the experiences and attitudes of straight men and women. But I’m sure straight women are also interested in a straight man’s perspective as well as vice-versa.
In any case, I don’t see a reason to limit things.
I have yet to get a decent answer on why so many straight guys are obsessed with lesbians. Odd that many of them say that male homosexuality is gross, immoral, fun…scratch that last one. Always wondered about that.
Because naked women are more fun to look at than naked men for straight guys. Therefore lesbians= more naked women. And movie lesbians tend to be hot, and lesbians are of course interested in all the same fun bits guys are , without the needless distraction of seeing wang, which can break the mood.
I’d suggest that being a straight man and being a straight woman are not identical experiences; if both generate interest, they’d probably work better as two separate threads.
The Gay Guy threads had plenty of that as well. But there does exist the tendency among a small minority of people to pry ulterior motive and meaning out of nothing and come up with such protests as — guy is too exclusive, the topic has no relevance, there are no good questions, and so on. And there is nothing you can do to stop them from dropping into your thread and making a trainwreck out of it other than moderator intervention. Speaking purely rationally, it seems to me that this is one place in the world where heterosexuality is not the overwhelming majority that it is in the real world. I’m confident that you could get plenty of good questions if you were given half a chance, and they would be very similar questions that a person might ask of a gay guy, such as when did you first know you were straight. Have you been to a gay bar, and how did it make you feel. Have you ever had a homosexual experience or fantasy, and how did it happen. And so forth.
I’ll buy that, and say that for me, and a number of other straight women who like to read and write slash/gay fiction, two guys are twice the hot and steamy fun as het fic. Who cares about some female that we have to compare ourselves to? Bring on more guys!
I’d have a question I’d post to such a thread. It’s a little odd, though, but here it goes anyway.
Are you truly thinking of boning me while we’re having a conversation, about, say, the weather? I’ve been told by more than a few straight (and two gay, actually) guys that this is what’s going through their mind when conversing with a woman whom they find attractive. Is this true? I mean, I might wonder as to if the cute guy with whom I’m discussing best practices for some IT-related procedure would be fun it bed, but that’s maybe just over a fleeting thought. Now, what I might think about later while I’m at home is a whole other story, but while we’re talking about the cold-front that suddenly moved through, I’m thinking about the cold-front that suddenly moved through (and shoes, always shoes).
I don’t know if your search yielded Satisfying Andy Licious’s Ask “The Straight Eye for the Gay Guy”. It doesn’t meet your ‘informative or demysitifying’ criteria - but it has got to be one of the funniest parody threads I’ve ever recall reading here.
Well, it depends on the guy, I’d say. Your uncivilized male will be thinking of boning you and will (hopefully) be making a real effort to sound interested and not look at your hooters (a scientific term). A more sensitive male (such as myself, if I may be so humble) will actually be interested in what you’re saying. However, I’ll admit that on a lower lever I will be wondering about what you look like naked. Doesn’t mean I’m not interested or not thinking about you as a person, but it’s there. Sorry. I’d apoligize, but there’s no point. It’s just how we are, from what I’ve gathered.
Utility would be somewhat low as we really are kind of uncomfortable…you know… talking about ourselves. Can’t I just buy you something instead? Here, have a drink! I’ll throw a steak on for you!
I dunno if it’s that simple, but “ohhh, no wang!” is more accurate. Either the male model has zero body fat, bulging muscles, and is frighteningly well-endowed and we get self-conscious, or the male star is pudgy, hairy and out of shape, in which case we tend to identify with him and get self-conscious and embarassed.
Not generally, no. I don’t seem to have that problem. I do make a conscious effort not to do the boob-glance during a conversation — and depending on the woman, that’s either very difficult or very easy — but that’s about as far as I let my mind wander.
