In the early 70s there was a store in Hermosa Beach, CA, called Hermosa Reptile. I didn’t go in there very often, but one time I did I went over to a terrarium with a large snake in it. I started saying “snakety-snake-a-snake-a-snakety-snake…” They asked me to leave. (No surprise.)
What have YOU done that prompted personnel in a store/restaurant/whatever to tell you to take a hike? (NOT something for which you could have been arrested!)
Oh. Never mind.
::leaves thread::
Once, in a restaurant in Tucson, AZ, USA, my brother and some friends after the meal started playing jass (a swiss card game), as you usually do in swiss cafes. (No gambling was involved.) The owner asked them to leave.
This was a greek restaurant, not that the type of food is really relevant to the story.
I got escorted out of an A’s/Giants game because I tied one of the flags to the railing next to me. I wasn’t trying to make a political statement or anything, I just couldn’t see the scoreboard because of the flag and was also worried about it hitting me in the face (I’d just had laser surgery.) I admit it was probably a dumb idea, but I don’t think it was an ejectable offense. 
“There’s a snake in my boot!”
My husband, daughter and brother-in-law were at a resteraunt in Indinapolis after a football game. We were seated at a table near the bar. Halfway throught the meal we were asked to leave because my daughter was underage and was not allowed to sit in the vicinity of the bar. We were not “carded” before we were seated. We were practically fininished with our meal and left quietly without paying for the food. When I think back on it however, I wish that I had made more of an issue regarding the situation. Libby has always looked older than her age but she was in her early teens and obviously underage. How old were you Libby? The moral of the story is stay away from Indiana.
Libby’s Mom
Sandra
Well…my church youth group in high school stopped off at a local Mickey D’s after doing something or other…I don’t remember exactly what. We were the ONLY people in the store then. In any event, a friend and I started throwing French fries at each other. Soon the whole group joined in, including the adults. The workers there were NOT amused, and threw us out. We always joked about it afterwards…imagine, a Catholic youth group getting throw out of a restaurant…
“Jesus Mary Joseph…you’re a biker chick!” - co-worker, upon hearing of my tattoo.
I got tossed out with a group of friends when the waitress thought that one of the group was making fun of her. She had a heavy accent, and he placed his order in an even heavier accent, so she assumed (since we were all obviously college punks) that he was putting her on.
The rest of us saw this and obnoxiously started laughing – the guilty party hadn’t a clue, of course, which made it funnier. That only reinforced her view. We were shortly told by the manager we were making too much noise and asked to leave. (He wasn’t actually making fun of her, he was just Belgian.)
Catrandom
Bar.
I was with a girl friend and we were enjoying some male strippers -----HOT! ---- when I got a bit too drunk and accidentally dropped a tear gas pen out of my pocket. I had it along with me because some jackass a couple of weeks earlier did not want to take NO for an answer when I left a bar and we kind of got into a fight and some great dude jumped in and helped me out. So, anyhow, we had been whooping it up and dropping $1 bills down those well stuffed teeny, tiny briefs and this pen fell out, see? It was loaded with a magnum tear gas charge a guy pal of mine gave me and said it should stop an elephant at close range.
I guess I was so drunk that I must have cocked it somehow during the evening but anyhow, when it hit the cement floor, it went BANG! Neither me nor my girl friend knew what was going on for a bit but all of a sudden, the dancers were gone, people were leaving tables and this really big and really pissed off looking bouncer was crashing his way through the room towards us. Me and my friend looked at each other and she asked me what had happened, while I spotted this BIG GRAY cloud just kind of wafting gently up from behind her head and I looked down and spotted the pen on the floor. I looked back up as the cloud started drifting towards the out put duct of the airconditioner over the stage and kind of had an idea.
We almost went to jail, but the bouncer let us go when I told him that I had no idea who had ‘thrown’ the pen and, of course, just as he arrived I picked it up. I gave it to him and we were sort of escorted out of the place. He kept the pen. He had tears in his eyes and I don’t think it was from tossing some lovely ladies like ourselves out. We left just as the cops drove in and I was glad because Suz had forgotten to leave her .32 in the car and had it in her purse. That might have gotten us into a whole lot of trouble. We went back there after a year and they didn’t recognize us but I didn’t carry a tear gas pen that time. Just a stun gun.
A girl has to be careful these days, you know what I mean? 
Tear Gas Pen?
I’m amending my Christmas list to Santa!
John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt. That’s my name too.
Wait, no it isn’t.
I was fifth wheel with a former roommate and his date, and we all got thrown out of a movie theater when he told the manage, “If I ever see you around, I’m gonna f*** you up real bad.”
Technically, only he was thrown out, but since he was driving, we sorta had to leave, too.
My dad, my boyfriend (now my husband), and I went to a restaurant where they had an all-you-can-eat shrimp dinner. My father loves shrimp but doesn’t like the bread on fried shrimp. We ordered our food and my dad began peeling the bread off his shrimp. After he ate a bit, he got more, when the waitress told him he couldn’t have more, he got angry.
My dad is a bit of a curser so I didn’t want my dad to make a scene. I told him that I would take care of it. I got the manager and told her the problem. She then told me that he couldn’t have more shrimp because he wasn’t eating the bread. I told her the sign said “All you can eat” not All you can eat as long as you eat the bread. The manager was extremely rude and we yelled at each other. She told me to get out before she called the police.
My dad still gets a kick out of us getting kicked out. I think it was because I didn’t want my dad to make a scene and I ended up getting us kicked out. The manager was a real *itch and several people in the restaurant stopped me on my way back to the table to ask me what happened.
“Nostalgia isn’t what it used to be.”
A few years, while in Vancouver. I was in a pub with a few people and we were kicked out. I don’t think we were being especially rowdy, but to be honest, I don’t remember much of the incident. 
Some drink at the fountain of knowledge…others just gargle.
Once, when I was in high school, my friend dragged me into a Hot Topic (which I normally call the “I like Death” store–one of those places that makes the underground counterculture accessible to the mainstream). My friend was buying a shirt or something when the stereo in the store starts playing some God-awful Me First and the Gimmie-Gimmies cover of “Mandy” or something, so I start dancing–not like slam dancing or stripping or anything, just bogie-ing down and the manager (a guy with blue hair and an eye brow ring) tells me I’m causing a distraction and I have to leave. I got kicked out of Hot Topic! I still can’t get over that!
I once got thrown out of a massive B&Q superstore (a British DIY/hardware chain) for racing up and down the aisles in a shopping trolley. At least, I was racing until I hit the assistant store manager and ricocheted into the rolls of carpet.
I’m teetotal, but I’ve been asked to leave a pub.
It was the first time I’d organised a roleplaying game. We were rolling dice and talking. It attracted looks, but we weren’t making a commotion. Then one of us stumbled as he got up, and knocked a glass over. The barman looked relieved to have an excuse, hurried over and told us to get out.
Another time I was in a restaurant when a noisy, argumentative, drunken couple started spilling their food. The manager rightly told them to go. On the way out (I was concentrating on avoiding eye contact) someone called out 'Must you leave?!. Luckily they kept going…
Why doesn’t the sun come out at night when the light would be more useful? (Pratchett)
Got thrown out of an Ozzy concert at Alpine Valley once…liquor, a knife, and a bad teenage attitude were involved…
“If there’s anything more important than my ego around, I want it caught and shot now.”
I got kicked out of the first bar they went to in the movie “Swingers.” I was at the bar talking to this girl having a good time. Well, the girl decides she’s going to go try and find her friend that she had left elsewhere in the bar. We exchanged goodbyes and she went on her way. After she had gone, I noticed she had left a pack of cigarettes and a $20 bill. I picked them up, put them in my pocket and went out in search of the girl. I swear this was my intent. About five minutes later, I still hadn’t found the girl and a bouncer comes up to me and asked me if I had the money and the cigarettes. I told him yes and that I was looking for the girl who had left them at the bar. Upon hearing my story he informed me that they were the manager’s cigs and money and asked me to leave, chastising me the whole way out. I protested, but realizing that the argument was futile waited outside for my friends. That’s what you get for trying to be nice.
Ever play “The Penis Game”? Everyboyd takes turns saying the word “penis” louder and louder until nobody can top it. The person with the least shame wins. This game got me kicked out of countless diners, fast-food restaurants, and movie theatres in the first couple years of high school.
And then there was the time two carloads of us were returning from a weekend LARP (live-action roleplaying game) and decide to stop at McDonalds. Picture 9 people, dressed in full fantasy costume, including foam-rubber weapons and in some cases full face paint, reeking from three days without a shower. The management was actually relatively cool about it until the food-fight started.
I thought I was going to get kicked out of a ballpark for videotaping without the express written consent of major league basebasll. I misunderstood the rules in the program. It’s perfectly okay to take photos or video of the park and batting practice but once play starts no private cameras can be pointed toward the field. A security guy came up to me - I was in a corporate box as a guest at the time - and told me I’d have to put the camera away. He was polite very nice about the whole thing and I still have the tape.
I was thrown out of the Metropolitan Museum of Art.
Some friends and I were at the Tiepolo exhibit (Baroque religious art) looking at a painting of Mary, with her robes being held up by those floaty baby-head things with the wings coming out of their necks.
“You have to be careful when you wash your robes,” I said. “If you don’t shake out all the floaty baby-heads, they’ll throw the dryer off-kilter.” Karen said, “We still have trouble with those floaty baby-heads. We have to put up Pest Strips on the ceiling to catch 'em.” David added, “We used to play baseball with 'em in Baltimore, so they became pretty much extinct.”
By this time we were laughing so hard, the guard asked us to leave. So no matter where I am, I can pretty much accurately say, “I been thrown outta better joints than THIS!”