Maybe so. Personally, I’m cool with the first three attributes you list (and ambivalent on the fourth; I think materialism gets a bad rap sometimes). But we all need shorthand for what we want. I use “gainfully employed” to mean someone with a purpose in life. I suspect that you’re right and that others use it to mean something else. But then, and this goes directly to the OP’s question, we don’t believe people when they say what they want, because everyone uses some shorthand that may have a different meaning for other people.
I say, “gainfully employed,” and Beware hears “social-climbing yes-man.” Beware says, “conventional” and shudders, I hear, “conventional” and smile.
Pshaw. Friday night I observed a pair of doofi that make yours sound like a couple of Valentinos – and it was in a quick-eatery, so they didn’t even have the excuse of being stupid drunk, although I’m guessing that’s their default mode anyway.
Doofus One was going on, loudly, about the nerve of some woman he’d met in a bar, bought “two hundred dollars worth of drinks” for, and who’d neglected to reciprocate by going off with him to screw. “What are we doing here? Why d’ya think I’m buying thd drinks?”
Doofus Two laughed and agreed with everything Doofus One said, which encouraged him.
“I could have spent two hundred dollars and got a whore who’d do anything I want, right?”
“I could have spent a lot less than that to buy a hammer to hit her over the head with and just do whatever.”
All in that “I’m right, right?” voice that incredibly stupid people use when they’re convinced that they’re really clever.
Whelp… you would probably consider me a “company man”, but I’m none of the things that you list. I kinda resent that list, and what you imply about people like me, or people who would go for me.
A lot depends on the company, and the man. If you love your job and the people at your job, well hey, good on ya. None of the rest applies. I’ve just had some real soulless sonsofbitches as bosses in my time, and if they and the woman of my dreams (whoever she may be) turn out to have been playing on the same team all along, I’m going to be one sad sack of once-proud humanity.
To me gainfully employed would definitely include self-employed. To me gainfully employed means “not needing to borrow money from me” while simultaneously “not sponging off parents.”
And a car that runs means “not calling me for rides on a regular basis.”
I always found just going up to a girl and saying “hi” to be far more effective than acting like an asshole.
On the flip side, we’re at the beach one time and these girls in front of us are being quite bitch, yappy and otherwise obnoxious. One of them turns to my friend (who was quietly reading his book, listening to his iPod and was actually sitting there first) and is all like “excuse me? EXCUSE ME!!! Can you like, please move?! We like, don’t want sand on us.”
Now instead of kowtowing to them as they clearly expected him to or even being like “oh okay, sorry”, he simply takes off his headphones, puts down his book, and says
“fuck off”
And without another word, goes back to reading and listening to music.
Now everyone is stunned. We start laughing not quiet believing what we saw. Now the girls are flabberghasted. They’re all in a huff while people are whispering back and forth “what happened? I think some guy told those girls to fuck off!” One of the guys in our group tries to smooth things over with “oh he was just kidding” and some girls like “he should appologize”.
So once again, he puts down his book and says “there will be no appology, I stand by my original statemen, now fuck off!”
So I guess the moral is, you probably shouldn’t be an asshole to people who don’t deserve it because it’s easy enough to find people who do.
I don’t think anybody would find him attractive, in a sense.
He works a customer service job, has allopecia [absolutely no hair, and his fingernails are shredding so they look like coke addict nails] he is quirky [we tend to a more euro sense of humor] well read [dislikes spectator sports, can discuss most any subject because he is an autodidact and didnt restrain his reading to any particular subject] we rarely have more than the amount of money that it takes to pay the bills and eat - i have been out of work for 3 years in one of the most expensive cost-of-living states in the US. He is a basic working class schlub. Think of him as the eternal supporting ‘friend next door with a house, 2.5 kids, mortgage’ who exists only to drop in and return the chainsaw he borrowed last week to insert an interruption in some important scene dialog.
As i said, he is clean, neat and works a regular job. Mark 1, mod 0 adult american male.
Look, when you have been married to a man who is shiftless enough that your water gets turned off [at the time roughly $20US a quarter year] and electricity gets turned off 2-3 times a year, and you get mortgage forclosure registered letters 2-3 times a year, don’t discount the comfort of a man who actually works and pays bills.
Hey whatever. If they didn’t want to be gawked at they shouldn’t have been the loudest bitches on the beach. Besides it wasn’t as if we were having a beach volleyball game around them. We’re sitting there minding our own business. If anything we should have told them to shut the fuck up earlier because they were disturbing everyone around them.
If you actually work at your job, you’re not sponging. If you’re the jerk who’s a VP because daddy started the business & spend all day shooting paper hoops with your trashcan, you’re a sponge & any woman with any depth won’t want your sad, pathetic, no-ambition-having butt anyway.
Please don’t use the broad brush & assume that any woman who has “gainfully employed” in their requirements is looking for a sugar-daddy. We just want someone who’s not looking for a sugar-mamma.
