What your name really means...

I got this in my inbox today, thought I’d share it with all of you:

don’t take offense to this . it’s just for fun:
What Guys Names Mean
Aarons - are ugly but have the best yumuka’s
Adams - are cute, funny and need a bath
Adrians - are usually short and very horny, they watch cartoons
Alans - are shy but sensitive, get screwed over by women
Alexs - are cute and short but very open to corruption
Andys - are nice and sweet, work in the mail room
Andrews - two faced and conceited, become directors, CEO’s
Antonios - have great bodies and beautiful skin, and chicken brains
Anthonys - are great guys and kind to all girls, smell of weed
Arnolds - are losers
Arthurs - hung like a slave and celibate
Bens - are funny and can be real difficult to beat at games
Bernards - light fires and pinch girls bottoms
Bobs - are quiet and unpopular, they eat with their hands
Brads - think everyone likes them… but they don’t
Brandons - are good looking but use girls
Brendans - are quiet and sweet, get beaten up all the time
Bretts - world wide sluts and really insensitive, women love them
Brians - are mean and only think of themselves, no he’s not
Messiah-he’s just a naughty boy.
Bryans - are sexy, but stupid - can’t spell
Bronsens - are annoying and never grow up - have a stupid name
Bruces - stink bad and think everybody else names is also Bruce
Bryces - fun to be with and will make you laugh, you’ll kill them within a week
Calebs - immature in a naive way, drive a Gemini
Camerons - think they’re funny…they’re not, fall asleep during sex
Carsons - are fun to be around and are really sensitive
Chads - are cute, sensitive and very studly - only found in American movies no
real person has that name
Chris’s - have great bodies and have lots of different friends, but are full of themselves
Christians - are very sexy and seductive (think ‘legends of the fall’)
Clarks - are hilarious and always in trouble, problem with ‘jailbait’
Claytons - are very sweet and adore girls, but are very superficial
Coles - nice, funny, and are fun to be around
Cons - lie to women and blow up public buildings
Corys - are funny but ugly, end up running fashion magazines
Craigs - try to fit in - they never do
Cyrils - are, well, Cyrils
Dans - are quiet but funny, but become easily addicted to narcotics
Danes - are weird but can hold together a conversation with a mermaid
Daniels - extremely funny and will to anything for a shag, will tell you about it if you shout.
Dannys - are loud and funny and crash their cars
Davids - hotties and work out a lot, love girls named Florence
Daves - extremely sexy,always funny,intelligent, good in bed,stylish, trendsetter - ie wankers
Deans - are full of themselves and think with their dicks
Dennis’s - are either very nice to girls or a faggot
Dereks - have great mummies, and blow-up doll collections
Dominics - are hilarious and will do anything to please
Dons - dickheads
Dougs - have greasy faces, drinking problems and warts
Drews - are bad arse losers who never shut-up
Dylans - are horny bastards, who can’t sing
Dwaynes - cool guys to be around if you can handle their name.
Eddies - want too many chicks they’ll never get cuz they’re arseholes
Erics - shy
Eriks - are funny and treat girls how they want to be treated
Evans - are a little slow but sweet, sexy, and model mental patients
Franks - are “different” - missing DNA - favour girls named Lucy
Garths - are sweet but dress too good to be straight
Garys - are drug addicts but are willing to share
Geoffs - prefer golf to sex and war to peace
Georges - are barmen who drink more than they serve
Glenns - are the sweetest guys to start with then turn into dickheads
Grahams - are damn sexy but very hard to understand
Grants - are annoying shits
Gregs - are really sweet and feel sorry for themselves
Haydns - are try hards
Howards - like small breasted women and pornography (doesn’t everybody?)
Ians - really popular but think all the girls want them
Jakes - are shy and sweet but sluts when drunk
Jasons - HORNY!! but so sweet and you can talk to them about anything
Jays - are very sweet when you get to know them well
Jeffs - are really ugly
Jeromes - are gay, but very unhappy
Jeremys - are loud and think they’re all that they say they are
Jermaines - are ugly and make girls puke
Jesses - are unpopular and need to move on
James - are sweet kind and always laughing
Jacks - stupid but hot
Jimmys - are sweet but users, have fantasies of Love & Affection (any
Redd Kross fans out there?).
Joes - have no friends or lives - tend to kill small animals
Johns - are built like bears, sexy but tend to lose their head
Jonothans - think they’re good - they’re shit
Jordans - Are Sexy but weird in bed
Joses - are hot boys with a love of hermaphrodites
Joshs - attractive, like sports, travelling, meeting people and having fun
Juniors - are hotties and are totally good at football
Justin - aggravating but lovable, insecure but successful
Kains - are the sexiest guys alive but very stuck up
Kevins - can never get a girlfriend
Keiths - are good people to talk to when you have a problem - theirs are worse.
Kellens - are very, very … anything you want them to be
Kims - are very understanding and caring, feel lost in Korea
Kurts - can kick anyones arse
Kys - see Kains
Kyles - are hornballs, who eat too many cornchips
Larrys - cute but are wannabe players with big arsees
Laureys - are short and funny looking
Leighs - are girls dressed up as boys
Liams - are loud mouthed arseholes, normally found in rock bands and pubs
Lorenzos - are fine and dress in stolen gold
Louies - are unconventional, wise and annoying Is that good or bad?
Lukarse - are fat losers that date other men
Lukes - seem to be sweet - Luke Solomons exactly!!!
Malcoms - are tallmen who tend to lose their trousers
Marks - wished girls liked them for who they are, not their great looks
Matts - the perfect guy sweet and goodlooking, full of it
Mikes - are very good looking but they’ll do anything for a girl which is totally sweet
Mitchells - are the ugliest dogs and they don’t get any
Nathans - are stupid as hell, and tend to make other feel like they’re there.
Nicks - HORNY!! but really nice - can’t get passed the missionary position though
Neils - Sweet and will do anything in this world for you, like to eat lentils
Olivers - very proper and rich - most likely to lead an army
Oscars - losers, a good name for a dog
Owens - cute guys that are immature, and sing Welsh songs
Pats - drunks, drunks, drunks
Pauls - cool, calm and handsome
Peters- are cuties but very shy, make women feel like virgins
Phillips - are stupid idiots who wish they were cool -
Reagens - are …strange
Rhys’s - had their minds stolen by aliens a long, long time ago
Rickys - are ugly shitheads that everybody hates
Richards - are lions in bears clothing and have more wet dreams that anybody.
Robs - tall and ugly…everybody hates them
Rodneys - as wide as they are tall, as intelligent as they are unique
Rons - dress like AFL Footballers and like to prance
Ross’s - total losers and computer geniuses
Russels - like to play in the leaves
Ryans - short but sexy bodies and even sexier minds
Sams - are wannabe sex machines
Scotts - have serious disabilities
Seans - have small testicles and no friends
Seths - are so sweet to other people but traitors
Simons - are quiet but very simple
Shanes - thinks everybody wants to shag him - he’s a virgin
Shannons - are the most determined and persevering sweeties in the world
Steves - are popular and funny when looked at side on
Stuarts - are droll guys with great arses and suicidal tendencies
Tims - are hot and horny, well worth a shag
Tobys - are bastards
Toms - are cool but can be arrogant
Tonys - are hot, sweet, and totally fun to be around
Travis’s - are fat and horny with the best XXX collection to be found
Trevors - are sweet and funny but at sometimes untrustworthy
Troys - are cute and popular
Taylors - are gay
Warrens - are cool, homosexual guys
Wesleys - are great guys and easy to tolerate
Wills - wish they were popular
Zachs - sweet and polite and adorable

What Girls Names Mean
Allison- popular girl’s name. usually stuck-up
Amanda- pretty, but sometimes slutty
Ashley- a nice-girl’s name
Annie- innocent but not gorgeous
Andrea- short girl’s name
Beth- usually bratty
Barbie- stuck-up and full of herself with fake boobs
Brenda- usually pretty, but quiet
Brandy- outgoing and stylish
Betty- shy and chubby
Caitlin- sometimes shy with a good personality
Candy- slutty
Catherine- pretty, caring, and sweet
Cindy- cute but bratty
Debbie- cute and nice
Danielle- stuck-up, but can be nice
Desiree- outgoing and tall
Emily- little and a sweet girl
Elizabeth- a nice girl but a little strange
Fran- old woman’s name
Francis- usually a drag queen
Georgia- sexy and smart
Hannah- plain, but a cutie-pie
Jessica- very pretty, funny, and intelligent
Jennifer- funny with a good personality
Jane- shy but has a good sense of humor
Janet- cute and intelligent
Jillian (Gillian)- very pretty and outgoing
Jocelyn- slutty
Jenna- smart and shy
Kelly- little and cute with a lot of friends
Kristie- tall and athletic
Katie- adorable
Kari- short and sometimes bitchy
Lily- small, shy, and smart
Lauren- a bit strange, but a good personality
Laura- smart, popular, and pretty
Lacey- slutty
Lindsay- cute
Layla- tall and smart. likely to be successful
Martha- old woman’s name
Maggie- little and sweet
Margaret- tall and shy
Michelle- bratty but cute
Marie- romantic and sweet
Mary- sometimes a bitch, but nice
Nicole- bitchy
Nancy- mysterious and shy
Nina- outgoing and friendly
Patricia- nice and funny
Renee- short and cute with a great personality
Rita- tall and sexy
Robin- very sweet and shy
Rachel- athletic and pretty
Susan- pretty and smart
Samantha- stuck-up
Sarah- very nice and smart
Sally- little and cute
Tabitha- mysterious but a good personality
Tammy- nice with a lot of friends
Tasha- slutty
Victoria- very sweet but can be stuck-up
Vicki- sweet, but can be two-faced
Wendy- sweet and fun


If you prick us, do we not bleed?

As usual, Rhonda didn’t make the list…

However, I know what people apparently think about us…Every Rhonda I’ve seen on TV, movies, or read about as a character in a story has been either a slut, or incredibly stupid. :rolleyes:

TroubleAgain said:

But you did have the classic Beach Boys’ song *Help Me, Rhonda,*which is better than nothing.

*Jennifer- funny with a good personality *

Okay, I think I can live with that. :smiley:


Annie, was the closest to my name

  • innocent but not gorgeous.:frowning:

"Johns - are built like bears, sexy but tend to lose their head "

Try “ordinary as storebrand cornflakes”, because their parents had no imagination.

No chance in hell

I’ll let you guys decide.

Yep, strike two.

No comment.

Yeah, like “Bear” ever makes it on any list. I could find several with Rhonda before I find one with Bear.
Oh well… stupid list… :sniff: :sniff:

Rob! I luvs ya! :smiley:

In my case, it’s true! :smiley:
Surprise, surprise, my name is nowhere to be found. :frowning:

Instant death to anyone who mentions a certain Rick Moranis movie.

Nice to know that not everyone hates me.


Honey, I Shrunk The Kids?

I can’t believe I’m helping you guess.

Think musical.

Yeah, but really, how much of a musical was Strange Brew.

Rob just realized what movie it really was but doesn’t want Instant Death, though fresh brewed death might be okay.


*Laura- smart, popular, and pretty *
Acceptable…though I would have added “a bit geeky” in there, since most of the Lauras I know have a slight geek tendency.

slap slap


Owww! Ow, stop hitting me. Hey, do you want me to say it? Ow, uncle, UNCLE!!!

silent_rob kicks the dirt, and slowly walks away

I wasn’t going to say it anyway. Didn’t have to get all mean and nasty. :frowning:

quietly singing:Feed me (git it)

silent_rob flees for his life

I was slapping Rick Moranis. What, you thought I was slapping you? Of course I wouldn’t! :smiley:

Fortunately, Seymour isn’t on the list either.

That’s good. :slight_smile:

Fuck you! Fuck you all!!!

::Goes to armory to check out M-16::

I find no fault with this, it seems to be 100% accurate, and without flaw. I’m sorry, but you just have to realise that this is The Straight Dope, and nothing inaccurate can ever be posted here. It comes with Cecil’s ringing endorsement by proxy.