Oh, never mix BBQ spare ribs and Doritos with Jagermeister.
Shadowfox
I’ve learned to make mistakes. I used to do mistakes.
I don’t know if I’ve learned from mistakes.
Hmmm. Interesting answers. Odd synchronicity, because I just took a lashing in the BBQ pit over issues of tolerance.
(Fair’s fair, though; I tried mild satire but ended up being obscure and ticking people off…)
It’s interesting how many of you concluded that one of the most important things IS tolerance.
But I was most impressed that Christi even magaged to wake up, much less survive, after that mixture. A will and constitution of iron, that girl.
Whooops!
That was ChrisCTP! Sorry!
Tang is an all purpose cleaner. Put some in the bottom of the dishwasher, no dishes or soap, run it through… clean dishwasher. Also works on sinks, countertops, etc. and leaves everything smelling nice and orangey. Makes you wonder about drinking the stuff though.
Try not to make the same mistake twice.
Be skeptical but do it politely.
TV: You are forgiven. I suppose the lesson I learned from that particular night was “Great nights are followed by awful mornings. Make sure your sitter is willing to keep the child till late afternoon.”
Veni, Vidi, Visa … I came, I saw, I bought.
You just can’t trust the Book of Lists 
“I hope life isn’t a big joke, because I don’t get it,” Jack Handy
How to make gravy.
It’s no good arguing with people. If you express an opinion and someone doesn’t agree and wants to discuss the issue, that’s okay, but if someone keeps pounding away, trying to force their opinion on you, or worse, ridiculing yours, just zip it. Let them look like the asshole.
Remember, I’m pulling for you; we’re all in this together.
—Red Green
I learned that no one will love you if you don’t love yourself.
I also learned that no one gives a shit about someone unless it involves getting money, getting a new car, getting laid, getting drunk, getting stoned, getting into a fight, or getting someone killed.
That it’s usually best to stand up for yourself and your beliefs, but sometimes it’s better to just walk away.
That it’s just so much better when a relationship is based on friendship first and sex second, instead of the other way 'round.
That it isn’t which religion someone believes in that matters, it’s how they live their lives because of it that counts.
That no matter how much you hate someone, you will eventually start to miss them when they’re gone.
That when the oil light on your dashboard lights up, you should always, ALWAYS do something about it.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is what I will tell my children, if I ever have any.
Not a problem, TVeblen! Although I have mixed drinks like that before…and ChrisCTP is absolutely right.
I am always in the process of learning stuff, so could someone please explain to me what the deal is with Tang in the dishwasher? I had never heard of that before, and now I’ve heard it twice in a week, the first time being from my aforementioned very smart mother.
There is no such thing as bad knowledge, only bad applications.
Everything you will ever need to know is written down. Somewhere.
If you don’t know the answer, you CAN figure it out.
Money is like sex: No matter how much you get, it’s never quite enough.
The day you don’t learn something new is the day you start to die.
WOTSB
You take the Tang powder, spread in the bottom of the empty dishwasher ( couple of scoops full ), turn on the dishwasher, clean dishwasher. My guess is that the citric acid does the trick. Several commercial cleaners are based on citrus including Citri-solve. My aunt originally told me a couple years back of Tang’s amazing properties and I’ve been using it on various things ever since. Works good on my stainless steel sink, but you don’t want to use a lot of water. Slightly wet surface, sprinkle on powder then use dry paper towel to scrub and wipe up.
Note: I don’t drink the stuff though.
I’ve learned to focus on what’s good in my life instead of what sucks. Corny, but it works.
Some people will never happy no matter what the circumstances are. You don’t have to put up with them.
You can’t please everybody all the time so don’t even try.
I’m under no obligation to like everybody. 
I’m good enough, I’m smart enough and doggone it, people like me. 
(Stuart Smalley)
Life’s pretty good.
I prefer rogues to imbeciles because they sometimes take a rest.
Alexandre Dumas the Younger (1824-1895)
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What are you staring at? Haven’t you seen a counter before 
Louie put one up and no one gave him sh*t. What? Do you expect me to think for myself?
If you don’t get told “no” every so often, you are not asking for enough.
The most useless endeavor ever undertaken by mankind is worry.
Attitudes are contagious.
The vast majority of our fellow humans are good people.
The “Do not push this button” sign is usually there for a good reason.
The overwhelming majority of people have more than the average (mean) number of legs. – E. Grebenik
That it doesn’t matter what other people think of you,and there will Always be a place where you fit in.
Information is the key to survival-Abbie Hoffman.
No matter how bad it gets, it’ll pass.
If you’re an optimist, you haven’t been paying attention.