When someone tells you this, or when you tell someone this, what do you mean, or what do you think they mean? Please feel free to take this to extremes, I will list one.
I would guess this surfaces most in the death of someone close to you, but if a friend or relative says this to you, what is your interpretation?
If you counted on someone for financial support and were going to lose your house and they said that would you take that to mean that they would help you not lose it?
If you passed and you had kids would you take that as they would take care of your kids?
Maybe you wanted to open a business and lacked the knowledge so you needed your friend/relative to be your mentor.
If you were a gambling addict and you owed $10k to a bookie or they would hurt you could you count on someone who offers their help?
I can’t think of more, but if you can I’d like to hear them.
I would say that typically “whatever I can do to help” used in a polite, conversational way, means running small errands, babysitting, preparing a meal, making telephone calls, etc.
If someone is willing to offer significant sums of money, take over guardianship of children, or take any other significant, life-altering action, I would expect them to offer that in a much more concrete manner. I certainly would not include these types of things if I said, “Whatever I can do to help,” although I would usually ask, “Is there anything I can do to help?” instead.
The phrase “whatever I can do to help” is inherently dependent on the relationship of the people and the potential to help. The phrase is often meant just as a token of support in a time of need. I think people do appreciate it as such. Then there are cases where people are so close that the term can be taken literally. “Tell me what you need and I’ll do it.” I believe it would be better to offer something specific to the person that is in your “wheelhouse” to deliver. Maybe it’s a ride or taking care of kids or supplying dinner. Employ the Nike motto and “just do it.”
My father passed away suddenly in early October, and I heard a lot of “Anything I can do”. Like others have said, what that meant, and what I was willing to ask, depended a lot on the person. For my closest friends, it meant they spent the whole night with me - including shopping for a funeral outfit and hanging out in the bathroom with me while I shaved my legs so I could wear the skirt I bought - so I wouldn’t have to be alone. For one of my husband’s friends (who stayed for the entire wake and joked “Anything I can do for you? I’m really hoping you’ll say no here.”), I just asked him to spend time jamming with my husband, who needed the break.