I’m not going too define wrost & best. You can do that yourselves.
Worst:
BRITNEY SPEARS TO UNDERGO COUNSELING WITH TOM CRUISE–INTERVIEW WITH BOTH ON LARRY KING
Best:
KATIE HOLMES GOES INSANE WITH JEALOUSY, KILLS SPEARS & CRUISE IN JEALOUS RAGE, DISCOVERS THAT CRUISE IS ANDROID & SPEARS A CYBORG–INSISTS ON CONDUCTING INTERVIEW WITH CAMPBELL BROWN WHILE BOTH ARE IN HOT TUB
PRESIDENT LOHAN WINS RE-ELECTION.
What do I win? 
Worst:
TOM CRUISE TO STAR IN LATEST COEN BROTHERS MOVIE
Best:
BECOMING SCIENTOLOGIST WAS PRACTICAL JOKE SAYS JASON LEE
No no…
Worst:
Coen Brothers: The New Poster Boys for Scientology!
Yes, I definitely have to concede, that one is worse.
Worst - Jimmy Carter Sex Tape to be streamed free on You Tube.
Best - VH1 Says “Fuck it”, goes back to just playing Phil Collins videos like they did in the 80’s.
Best and worst, at the same time :
"PRESIDENT BUSH RUNS AMOK, KILLS VP, CABINET, AND HALF OF CONGRESS WITH STOLEN TANK; SUPREME COURT SHELLED; ‘I did it for Jesus’, the President said upon leaving the tank and being subdued. Surviving Democrats refuse to talk impeachment. Surviving Republicans claim rampage is covered by executive privilege.
Xenu returns: "You’re all fucked now."
Anderson, Gish to revive “X-Files” with all-nude episode.
Oh, I don’t know. It would be interesting to see what they’d do with him. His character would probably have a big mustache.
RICHARD DAWKINS FINDS GOD - KILLS HIM WITH SHOVEL
Worst: George R. R. Martin becomes a born-again Christian, stops writing fantasy.
Best: All news companies voluntarily cease to publish celebrity headlines.
Best:
“My dream man is an overweight middle aged southern librarian” says newly out star Jake Gyllenhaal"
“Anderson Cooper, Zac Efron and Matthew McConaughey 3-way porn film surfaces on Internet”
Worst:
Ann Coulter, Ben Stein, and Geraldo Rivera appointed to triple Supreme Court vacancy
CONFEDERACY OF DUNCES to be major motion picture by Tim Burton; Deep Roy, Helena Bonham Carter, and Keanu Reeves attached
Danny Elfman to score.
Or maybe that’s BEST*
*Under the circumstances
Best
PUBLIC UNANIMOUSLY DECIDES IT NO LONGER CARES ABOUT CELEBRITY GOSSIP