What's a misconception you had when you were a kid?

[davidm]

@Lumpy

Well not exactly of course, but my understanding is that the large intestine takes up excessive water in the flow prior to expulsion.

But it doesn’t then immediately expel it as urine, which is what I thought.

[A_Dodgy_Dude]

@GreysonCarlisle

I thought that a mouse lived inside a girl’s hoo-ha, and that it peed for her since she lacked the proper equipment for the job.

Pillow-pants!!

Clerks II - Pillow Pants

[kaylasdad99]

When Mom brought groceries home, the boxes with the sticks of margarine all said “color added” or “with color.” I was always disappointed when it turned out to always be yellow.

(I have since heard tell of oleomargarine being sold as a lump, with a little pouch of yellow food coloring, which the buyer was expected to mix into the margarine by hand, to give it a nice, butter-like appearance. Maybe there used to be ordinances in some places against vendors selling margarine that looked enough like butter to potentially mislead buyers?

I still think it would have been nice to open a box and occasionally get a stick of blue, or green or purple margarine.)

[newme]

In third grade, our very old and very prim and proper teacher promised to take us to the laboratory. I conjured up visions of beakers and test tubes and Bunsen burners; I could hardly believe our good fortune!

Yet every day, we would end up stopping by the restrooms on the way to the ***laboratory, ***and immediately afterwards just get sent straight back to class with nary an explanation.

What a disappointment!:smack:

[Moris]

I believed women were urinating through their anuses. Of course! They sit down to pee! (bathroom doors in our house was never locked)

I held that belief for an embarassingly long time. I was around 10 when my (younger!) cousin explained.

My family was pretty upfront about reproductive organs and how babies are made; they showed me books and educational TV programs. But nobody bothered to clarify that mundane detail.

[Celyn]

@GreysonCarlisle

…
I thought that a mouse lived inside a girl’s hoo-ha, and that it peed for her since she lacked the proper equipment for the job.

I thought that everybody had their own moon. We had our own moon at home, and Grandma had her moon at her house, and Uncle Bob had his own moon at his house, and so on.

I thought that most, if not all, walls had secret doors, and I spent an unreasonable amount of time looking for tell-tale cracks and hidden levers. Thought I found one in a big maple tree once, but I could never get it to open.

I love those! You had a very interesting brain as a child.

If you ever write a book, I’ll be first in the queue to read it.

[Celyn]

@teela_brown

…I was relieved enough to enjoy some aspects of our vacation, but I didn’t feel completely emotionally well until we were north of the border.

That’s horribly sad. I suppose your friend didn’t really mean to make you suffer on your special holiday trip but what a shame.

[Celyn]

@Filbert

I thought that going to another country always meant going on a boat. My parents discovered this on a trip to Scotland, from England, when I was really really excited about the boat trip we would be going on, because I’d never been on a proper boat …

How damn disappointing! Horrible to think of the poor young Filbert thinking “oh, a sign on the road that says “Welcome to Scotland”. Where is the boat? I want a proper boat!” I hope they took you to Lewis or Skye or whatever so that there could be a boat.

[Celyn]

@Lumpy

I thought the confections called “truffles” contained the expensive edible fungus of the same name.

I had heard of/eaten the confectionery truffles before I knew about the other kind, so, for instance, a sentence in a book that referred to pigs snuffling out truffles had me a bit confused.:dubious:

[Celyn]

@kenobi_65

… I believed that these were there to warn blind drivers that they had to stop to pay the toll (because they couldn’t see the signs, obviously!)

I once found myself thinking that it must be quite difficult for blind people to drive because they wouldn’t be able to see to read the maps. Embarrassingly, I think I was about 30 years old then. :o

[Celyn]

@kenobi_65

…and the nuns would explain that the Communion hosts were the body of Christ, I had this mental image of this massive body of Jesus lying on the ground (sort of like Gulliver in Lilliput), and workers mining his body for Communion hosts.

Weird, and kind of gross, and it was the reason why I was scared to take First Communion.

Quite an image. :eek:

[Celyn]

@Filbert

…

Did she just think it was made of pure beef? Nope, she believed that each 1" cube was an entire cow, compressed down.

Compressed down by what sort of weird amazing science? Did it never trouble her at all that this compressed cow would involve her eating lots of cow horns? And other stuff?
Each little stock cube is a whole cow?

What are her thoughts about Bovril? Every warming drink is a liquidised cow?

[Velocity]

@Lumpy

I thought the confections called “truffles” contained the expensive edible fungus of the same name.

Same here. I had read about how expensive and rare truffles were, and what a delicacy they were, and so when someone offered me a truffle when I was around age 9, I was of course excited - and then, what? This thing is chocolate?

[GreenWyvern]

This one made me laugh out loud. I found it on Reddit, but it’s worth re-posting here.

Slightly edited:

When I was young my father said to me, “Knowledge is Power - Francis Bacon.”

I understood it as “Knowledge is power, France is bacon”. For more than a decade I wondered over the meaning of the second part and what the surreal linkage was between the two.

If I repeated the quote to someone, “Knowledge is power, France is bacon”, they nodded knowingly. Or someone might say, “Knowledge is power”, and I’d finish the quote, “France is bacon”, and they wouldn’t look at me like I’d said something very odd but thoughtfully agree.

I did ask a teacher what “Knowledge is power, France is bacon” meant, and got a full 10 minute explanation of the “Knowledge is power” bit but nothing on “France is bacon”. When I prompted for further explanation by saying “France is bacon?” in a questioning tone, I just got a “Yes”. At 12 I didn’t have the confidence to press it further. I just accepted it as something I’d never understand.

It wasn’t until years later when I saw it written down that the penny dropped.

[Annie-Xmas]

I thought that stomachs had compartments, and each food had to go into the right one. If it didn’t stomach aches would follow.

To this day, I eat every food individually so I won’t get a stomach ache.

[Hopeful_Crow]

@carnivorousplant

We also do children’s parties.

Yeah, but what child these days would understand references to Get Smart?

This one almost qualifies for this thread:

My brother once told me that if you pull out all your eyelashes, your eyeballs would fall out. He was older than me so I figured he should know what he was talking about. But I couldn’t quite wrap my head around this concept. The closest I could figure was that the eyelashes grew around the part of the eyeball you don’t normally see, following its curve and meeting in the back. Somehow, this kept it secure.

I couldn’t quite get myself to believe this but, at the age of eight or so, didn’t have the wherewithal to test my hypothesis. Other than pulling out all my own eyelashes and seeing what happened. Or asking an adult. Why don’t we, as kids, ask adults things like this?

I like to think that even then, I was developing a Straight Dope type of mind, at least.

[JKellyMap]

@GreenWyvern

This one made me laugh out loud. I found it on Reddit, but it’s worth re-posting here.

Slightly edited:

Wonderful!

[Larry_Borgia]

When I was a kid I thought there were two diseases: Neumonia and pneumonia (Pronounced pen-newmonia). The latter was much more serious than the former. It never dawned on me that I’d only hear about one and only read about the other.
When I was a teenager I thought TBA was the hardest working band in show business. They played everywhere! (Sometimes multiple clubs in one night.)

[The_Stainless_Steel_Rat]

When I was quite youthful, I thought women didn’t shit. Oh, I knew that they peed alright, but I simply couldn’t believe that women could take a dump like men could. Probably didn’t last past age 5 or so, but I still remember holding that belief.

[Lumpy]

@The_Stainless_Steel_Rat

When I was quite youthful, I thought women didn’t shit. Oh, I knew that they peed alright, but I simply couldn’t believe that women could take a dump like men could. Probably didn’t last past age 5 or so, but I still remember holding that belief.

It’s not something that bears dwelling on…