Just heard this:
Hockey fans walks into a bar, tells the barkeep “I’d like an Ovechkin, please.”
Barkeep says “What’s an Ovechkin?”
Guy answers “It’s a White Russian, but without the ice or the cup”.
Go Bruins.
The way I heard it, it just said without the cup. 
But it’s still a great joke, isn’t it? How does one say “asshat” in Russian, anyway?
LET’S GO PENS!!!
best. (hockey.) joke. ever.
Ouch.
(Caps fan here).
Love it!
A kindergarten teacher in Washington tells her class she’s a HUGE Capitals fan. She asks the class “Who else is a Capitals fan?”
Every boy and girl raises their hand, except for a little boy named Jordan. The teacher says, “Jordan, you’re not a Capitals fan?”
Jordan replies, “No, I’m a Penguins fan!”
The teacher says “Well, why are you a Penguins fan?”
Jordan says, “Well, my mom is a Penguins fan, and my dad is a Penguins fan, so I’m a Penguins fan.”
Now the teacher’s getting a little upset. She says, in a huff, “Well, if your mom was an idiot, and your dad was a moron, then what would you be?”
Jordan says, “Well, then I guess I’d be a Capitals fan!”
You can use that joke and substitute whichever team you want to make fun of.
Wow, what a bitch of a teacher 
The only hockey jokes I can think of are the rather lame ones about the Leafs that everyone’s heard a million times, but I’m bored and so I’ll post them anyways!
Why don’t the Leafs have their own website?
Because they can’t string three W’s in a row
Why can’t Hamilton have an NHL team?
Because then Toronto would want one too
How can you make sure your backyard says Leaf-free?
Put the Stanley Cup in it
Heard about the Caps’ newest Russian?
Summerov.
This list of how teams match up to high school students is a few years old, but still funny.
What do the Capitals have in common with the Titanic?
They both look great until they hit the ice
(Originally I saw it on a banner about the Flyers, but I figured it would work with the Caps too)
I hear Toronto’s fired Ron Wilson and hired a new Korean coach.
Name of Win Won Soon