What's been wrecked for you?

Wrecked, that is, by your association between the thing itself and some unpleasant person who appreciates that thing.

For me, there’s opera and my ex-wife. As an open-minded appreciator of art, I might enjoy opera, except that she-with-her-pinky-in-the-air-sipping-tea was an Opera Buff, and prattled on about opera minutia such that I can’t even contemplate listening to it without conjuring up the unwelcome image of her and her gushing joy, so I don’t even bother trying.

Or the former friend who became a master chef in mid-life, and fed me many a meal that he explained in excruciating detail–since our falling out, I’ve been unable to endure much high cuisine because I associate it with him.

Or the other former friend who loved movies by Sam Peckinpaugh. I was always tolerant of Peckinpaugh, but now I’l pass on buying a videotape of some film of his I haven’t seen because I don’t want to be wondering what my former friend might have to say about this scene or this motif.

These are all people I choose not to think about if I can help it–and truth to tell, I don’t really have all that much room for opera or high cuisine or Sam Peckinpaugh films in my life–but I wonder how much others share my trait of avoiding things because of their associations with people they’d rather not devote one extra thought to.

Ben & Jerry’s “Everything But The…” flavour of ice cream. The last night I physically spent with my ex, we went on a huge junk food spree, and that’s what he got. I had “Cool Britannia”, and of course, they don’t make it anymore (though I would still eat the hell out of it if they did!) We fed each other, laughing. Oh, and chocolate eclairs. We bought those, too. I remember giving them a dubious look at the store and saying, “Hmm. These look like chocolate dildoes.” Later that night, during yet another snack attack (I’m not sure what we were up to. Trying to gain 50 lbs overnight or something?) (and no, no pot was involved) (except for melting chocolate). Anyway, he brought the tray of them into the bedroom, and fed one of them to me. When he asked how they were, I said, “MMMM! These are chocolate dildoes!” Which he found hysterically funny, and we ate no more that night, got only an hour’s worth of sleep, and I had a 16 hour trip home the next day.

So. No “Everything But The…” or chocolate dil… eclairs. There’s no knee-jerk reaction when I stumble upon these things, and I don’t even feel hate or sadness. Just yesterday, I stopped by the 7-Eleven for some B&J’s, being a hormonal wreck on my period and craving anything and everything, scanned the shelves, saw “Everything But The…” hovered over it for the briefest millisecond, thought about the ex, kind of half grinned to myself and grabbed a “Cherry Garcia” instead. Even though I totally hate Jerry.

Things that used to be ruined were Morrissey, Pig, KMFDM, some others… but eventually I forgot the bad memories, replaced them with new ones, and still enjoy them just as much (if not more) today.

There’s a certain hole-in-the-wall bar here I used to really enjoy, until I found out one of the regulars was a thieving back-stabbing bitch. I don’t go there anymore, because seeing her would ruin my entire month. Shame, though - place had a great jukebox!!

The song, Long May You Run by Neil Young.

Yeah, my husband really ruined for me by telling me it was about a car he once owned.
A hearse, no less!

I just can’t listen to this song in the same way now, I took it off my play list.

Mine is along the lines of Anastasaeon’s, I love Ice Cream. I alway have loved Ice Cream, it is what I eat for joy and what I eat when I am depressed.
A few months ago, after years of telling myself I need to eat better and exercise more, I finally had the epiphany that I would have a heart attack in my fifties if I do not really eat better*. So now I have given up Ice cream and most fatty foods.
Recently I took my family to a Hersey’s Ice Cream shop and they all got cones, but there was no low fat Ice Cream. I passed on it, but I had to take a long walk while they were enjoying their Ice Cream. *::sigh:: * I miss Ice Cream.


  • The Epiphany was in the form of pushing close to 240 lbs and getting blood work showing by LDL’s very high. Oh and both my parents had heart attacks in their fifties while out of shape and overweight.

Someone wrecked my safehouse.