The last woman I dated this was the killer…she didn’t want to be touched while she slept, no cuddling, no nothing…
It just feels horribly wrong to me. Every cell in my body wants to be close to her and she would push my hand away if I so much as rested it on the mattress in contact with her.
It’s like being a large, slightly ticklish teddy bear that doesn’t get any blankets.
I sweat like crazy when I sleep. Always have. If you’ve ever seen Dr. Horrible’s Sing Along Blog, think of the character Moist. You know, the guy who’s always dripping. That’s me every few hours when I sleep, unless I’m freezing.
And my husband snores like a ban saw. It was bad enough last night I had to leave the bed and cover my ears. I love him desperately, but we’d both be swampy and I’d be deaf if we were touching all night.
Oh, nobody wants to be moooooiiiiiiiiiist. 
Dammit, missed the edit for the second time tonight…
I distinctly remember remarking to a friend about one of the world-class snugglers “Of course, we were both fully dressed, which significantly cuts down on the sticky factor.”
I’d also assert that there’s a smell factor. Some people smell right, and some smell wrong, and there are few things worse than having to sleep close to someone who is olfactorily (I’m almost sure that isn’t a word) dissatisfying.
And some occupy the whole bed, or like the bed at a very different temperature than you like it.
So, it can be good for the relationship, or it can be shit for the needed beauty rest of one or both parties. This applies whether they’re lovers, friends or family.
I love getting into bed with my boyfriend. I even forgive him his ice cold feet. I’m like a portable heater, while he has poor circulation, so we fit together nicely. Unless he’s just home from a wild night out - then he gets hangover sweats. EW.
I could have written your entire post, but I actually have a fix for this part. I put a different case on mine. At first it was an In Sync one I’d gotten as a gag gift, and then a girly one with a flowery momogram. Sure, the bed doesn’t look like the pictures in a catalog, but My pillow is left where I put it.
I sleep more deeply and better in a room of my own, but overall prefer sleeping with my wife.
We can’t share the same mattress, and I’m an active sleeper so would bounce her out of bed. Our ideal is for a king-size bed frame with separate mattresses, but at the moment we have two singles pushed next to each other (which works out the same, just less aethetically pleasing).
This. There are times when I’m so tired I would rather sleep on my own just to get the right kind of sleep but most of the time I’d rather sleep with the wife, even though I tend to sleep more lightly and stay in one position all night (which is less comfortable). I feel the lack of her when she’s not there.
Of late we’ve had the toddler appearing in the middle of the night demanding bed access. Last night she kicked me and tried to steal my pillow so I scooped her up, my pillow and all, put her back in her own bed, swiped another pillow from the spare bedroom and went back to sleep.
I had a boyfriend who snored. At first I couldn’t sleep. After a while I would be waiting for “The Generator” to crank up so I could.
They increase in volume during the night until you’re huddled in the outer regions of the bed, while they spreadeagle, somehow taking up about 90% of the bedspace.
We used to have a basset hound that did this too - squeeze in between us, then push out until evenutally he was stretched horizontally across the bed. Cheeky puppy.
Another fun sleeping-together habit - if I go to bed first the wife will often come in, decide that there are not enough covers on her side and yank them over, which inevitably pulls the sheets taut across my windpipe. Not a nice way to be woken up. She’s been better about this lately since we’ve “talked”. 
It’s hard to go back to a lonely bed, after you’ve experienced sharing it with someone special. I miss it very much. It’s really great, even though for some reason, more girl friends than not I have had, have had a serious snoring problem, while I never have had that problem.
The snoring really took some getting used to, and at first I/we were thinking about separate bedrooms. She would actually keep her kids awake in other bedrooms in the house too, she was that loud. I always felt like crap the next day too. Ear plugs helped, but not that much. Time helped more than anything else. It took weeks of sleeping with her before I finally got used to it, never totally, but all of the other stuff more than made up for it.
She was so affectionate, warm and cuddly, it more than made up for her snoring. I couldn’t ever date someone that doesn’t like being touched. I don’t understand women like that. I enjoyed the spooning, touching, massages, the pillow talk as much as my girl friends did. Sex was great too, but all of those other things were every bit as important. This one in particular was also a cover hog, but I found it fun to fight and tease about those kind of things.
No current girl friend at the moment, and I do miss terribly going to bed by myself again. Nothing to do but fall asleep now.
It’s like sleeping with a heating pad. Very useful, if you’ve got poor circulation. I’ve never had an issue falling asleep when the SO isn’t around, but apparently he sleeps horribly when I’m not around…
It can be good and bad. Mostly good. I like to spoon my gf as we fall asleep, but eventually it gets hot and my arm starts going to sleep. Then we separate and spend the rest of the night on our own sides.
I think I do sleep better by myself though.
I’m sorry to hear that. I personally think it’s wonderful. There’s just nothing in this world that can beat snuggling as you drift off to sleep, whether post-coital or not.
And I am honored to be the one who thaws out her frozen toes! :D:D
I think we’ve covered the physical side very well; how about the psychological side? How does it affect you as a couple?
It definitely helps us feel closer. You’re very vulnerable when you’re asleep and I think it means something when you are willing to let your guard down for someone else. I slept on the couch for a while and there was a lot of tension in our home until we found a way for us to share a bed again (earplugs). Waking up with him next to me is… fuzzy, I guess. I don’t really know a way to describe it, but that feeling lingers and keeps our bond strong. I feel safer when he’s sleeping with me.
When we met, in college, my husband and I were both night owls. Isn’t everyone in college? When we did sleep together it was cozy and snuggly and nice. He went to grad school in another city and I ended up in jobs that shifted me towards being a morning person. When we first started living together full time, about 10 years ago I did feel hurt when insomnia kept him out of the bed. Eventually it became so much the norm that now I have trouble falling asleep when he is in the bed.