What's Next, Tri-Polar?

The BBQ Pit
81

The question of diagnosis is a good one.

There is “folk diagnosis” – the kind of thing average people think when gossiping about someone who irks them. Folk diagnoses usually assume that a person is consciously choosing to misbehave. Diagnostic terms can include: lazy, spoiled, mean, a jerk, a**hole, etc. Sometimes it’s pretty accurate. Other times, it’s just nonsense.

Then there is “ignorant doctor diagnosis”. This is done by MDs who have more attitude than knowledge. They quickly read (and believe) the information sheets that the drug companies put out. They don’t read current research. They give everyone the same dose. Individual patient complaints are disbelieved or just ignored. They are not scientists, but practitioners of a cultish art.

Accurate diagnosis can take a lot of time, far more than the average doctor will spend with you.

The DSM, the diagnostic bible, now has hundreds of diagnostic categories. The field is a mess. It’s like physics before Einstein. As time goes by, more and more disorders are identified and labelled. Already people are saying that it has gone too far. It can’t continue this way. A paradigm shift is waiting in the wings.

Someday, hopefully soon, much of psychiatry will be replaced by neurology. We will be able to measure the effects of talk therapy, experience, and medications more directly. Psych people trained in the 20th century will find their knowledge to be obsolete.

With improved MRI (and other) scans, and with better knowledge of genetics and neurochemistry, the hocus pocus of “clinical experience” and diagnostics will be replaced by descriptions of brain function that can be objectively verified.

82

Good example of difference between someone who is moody and someone who is bi-polor.

My sister is moody. She can go from zero to bitch pretty quick when provoked, and since we know that, we don’t provoke her. She can be very cheery or very miserable, and somewhere in between. It does not affect her everyday dealings with people in a negative enough way for her to seek treatment and is probably more of a personality issue then anything else. She could probably learn to recognize her moody behavior and change it with therapy. It is likely not a chemical imbalance.

My friend Steve is bi-polar. He sometimes will not leave his house for weeks at a time, and when he does come out he’s in a manic stage- he has fantastic ideas about how to change the world, or has a new conspiracy theory- this is how his mania stage works. He goes 1,000,000 miles an hour, has genuine delusions of grandure, and cannot understand why people don’t understand his “ideas”. Then he goes back into the quiet, depressed funk for a few weeks. Repeat over and over until his depressed states turn to thoughts of suicide or his manic states turn to thoughts that his wife is trying to kill him or that he has to stay up for 4 days straight and practice this guitar part to get it just right…just because.

(Not all bi-polar disorders manifest that way, but that’s how his does. I believe that he’s been diagnosed as schizophrenic in addition to bi-polar)

The point is, it has nothing to do with mood swings or personal control- it’s a disease just like diabetes or cancer. It’s only by the grace of psychopharmacuticals that many people with bi-polar disorder aren’t dead or constantly wishing they were.

The point people here are making is that you don’t understand the disorder, and even seem to be purposely trying not to hear what people are saying, repeating “it’s over diagnosed”. Well, if you don’t have proof of that or something to back up that claim, it’s really an opinion of a layman that isn’t qualified to judge who should and should not be on medication, and not worth much.

83

You’re correct, but believe me she was totally insane. As far as being diabetic, you either are, or you’re not. That can hardly be said for being depressed.

84

Yes once the objectivity is out, we’ll be better off. The people that need help will get it far more efficiently. My girlfriend currently does PET scanning on schizophrenics, mapping their brains against healthy controls. It sounds like some pretty fantastic stuff.

85

Well, I can tell you this World Eater. The fact that mood stabilizers and anti-depressants made it possible for me to leave the house and keep a half way normal scedule for the first time in years is a pretty good indicator I’m bipolar. If the drugs didn’t have any effect, that would have been a pretty good indicator I was not. Same would go for clinical depression.
What more do you want?

86

That’s not true of diabetes either. Some people have mild cases of diabetes, usually type 2, that they can control by being very careful about their diet.

Look, I don’t know anything about bipolar disorder, but I’m clinically depressed. Clinical depression and “a bad day at the office,” (let’s call it situational depression) feel completely different.

Right now, I am situationally depressed. I had a job interview today that I had been excited about, but it turns out the job wasn’t a good fit for me. So I’m down in the dumps about it. That’s normal. But it feels entirely different than my clinical depression. Because of the situational depression, I’m moping around the house and craving cookies. For me, clinical depression manifests itself very differently–like not getting out of bed or being entirely unable to concentrate.

I hope that helps.

87

Splitting hairs (or hares, but that’s messier), there are different types of diabetes, and different ranges in each type. My dad is technically diabetic, but the doctor said he doesn’t have to take insulin if he really watches what he eats.

Likewise, clinical depression is caused by a combination of chemical inbalance and environmental factors.

Saying one is purely chemical and distinct while the other is purely subjective is bullshit. One may have a wider range of “fuzziness” but both are valid illnesses.

88

Point taken with diabetes, I had assumed (incorrectly) that it was black or white. I still however am of the opinion that mental illness has a bigger gray area then other diseases. Am in no way belittling it, I am fully aware that it can be just as serious, severe, and debilitating as anything else. I am just curious as to where such a subjective line is drawn in diagnosis of it.

89

Well, now I am more informed. I was told by a therapist that ‘full-blown’ manic-depressive disorder is very rare, but full whatever or not, it seems that in any degree, the illness can cause much suffering.
Thank you for your replies, but do try to keep with the original spirit of the question(s). I certainly did not skoff[sic] at anyone.

90

There are some pretty tell-tale signs that what you are experiencing is beyond garden variety “blues” or “mood swings.” Many of the Bipolar websites have questionaires you can take to help you and your doctor in finding out the correct diagnosis for you. I remeber reading one and thinking, “yup, that’s me, yup, that’s me” over and over again. If you’re interested I’m pretty sure I started my search at WebMD. If you get the chance read up a little World Eater. It’s fascinating stuff, and it might help you understand how many practitioners reach a diagnosis.

91

“Cyclothymia?”

** bordelond ** I think you’re right about how people are getting off track.

Let’s clarify something. The difference between general emotions and psychiatric disorders is kind of like this:

Healthy: Your moods affect the chemistry in your brain and body.

Mentally ill: The chemistry in your brain is affecting your moods.

When you suffer from a depressive or bi-polar disorder you are experiencing emotions that don’t necessarily have any corresponding extenal stimuli.

E.g. You can have a great day where everything is so swell you seem to be living a charmed life – despite this you are in a vicious rage and smash your TV set, pitch a fit and bang your head with your hands because you are so incredibly upset. There is no rational reason for you to have the emotion of “rage;” a chemical imbalance in your brain is causing you to feel this very powerful and reactive emotion.

That is the difference.

Healthy:
I give you one million dollars – you are deliriously happy.

Mentally ill:
“John Doe” is bi-polar. He is deliriously happy too. Does he have a reason to be happy? No… But gosh, darn it he is so damn happy! He is so happy and feels so grand and powerful! Yay! In fact he feels like he can take on the world! Watch how fast he can drive his car! Let’s go!!! Woo-hoo!

Natural moods swings tend to have some kind of connection to stimulus and response. Psychiatric moods disorders can be triggered by external factors, but the effects are hugely dramatic and overwhelming, so that you are potentially dangerous to yourself or others (like John Doe who will end up in a car wreck), or they prevent you from functioning “normally.” John Doe can not hold down a job because he is so happy he can’t sit still and complete a task.

92

Correct, there is Bipolar I and Bipolar II, and Cyclothymia (which is a separate issue with similar symptoms),

Note: There is also Biploar III, but that is a condition that is usually attributed to a reaction to medication – you’re being treated for depression and -oops!- the meds make you manic.

Biploar I is more rare, and God help you if you have the misfortune of that one. Think “Robin Williams on speed” and that would be the “manic” of Bipolar I. On the downside the depression is so severe you will quite likely kill yourself. You may also become delusional and psychotic. Your behaviour is really outrageous and outlandish. You must be hospitalized.

Bipolar II – same as above, but without the psychotic episodes and there is “hypomania” (euphoria and a feeling of grandiosity). You usually don’t need to be hosptialized because as long as someone’s keep an eye out and you are receiving some kind of treatment, you can manage.

Those with bipolar disorder have a 20% chance of killing themselves – as compared to healthy individuals who can manage to ride the ups and downs that life throws at you.

Cyclothymics bounce from euphoria to despair and back again, sometimes within a matter of hours. They get to enjoy this trip for a few days to a few weeks. Biploars may suffer for months at a time.

How do you know the difference between “hypomania” and “happy”? Related quote: Dr. Hagop S. Akiskal, senior adviser of affective and related disorders at the National Institute of Mental Health says: “hypomania is arecurrent condition; happiness is not.”

93

I suffer from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, I finally was diagnosed when I was 18 and put on Paxil. I’ll probably be on meds until I die.

When I was depressed, it was so horrid I don’t even like to remember that time. I sometimes get depressed even thinking about it-because I don’t want to go back there. If Hell exists, I can imagine that’s what it would be like.

Nothing-NOTHING made me happy. I didn’t want to eat the foods I like, or go places, hang out with my friends (admittedly, my best friend of four years then was acting like a complete and utter ass so we were no longer friends then), I didn’t want to listen to music, or watch tv, or read. I didn’t want to kill myself, either. What I wanted to do was to sleep. Just sleep all the time. Because when I was sleeping, my fears weren’t bothering me. They weren’t causing me to scream and moan. Literally, that’s what happened on night on the way back from the mall-I was in the car with my mother and my sister, and I just started screaming and I couldn’t stop.

(deep breath. I’m starting to get upset just thinking about this-please understand it’s very hard to talk about that time in my life).

I got help. I got therapy, and I got meds. My family NOTICED a huge improvement. My appetite improved. Mostly, my ENTHUSIASM came back. Meaning, I was able to look forward to the little things that gave me pleasure, like cheese fries and Star Wars novels. Stupid stuff, but being able to ENJOY stuff was a miracle for me.

Right now, I’m going through a rut in my life (out of college, looking for a job, etc). But at least this time I KNOW what to look for, and how to deal.

94

Another bi-polar sufferer checking in. My diagnosis didn’t actually come until about 2 years ago, even though we have finally agreed that I have been bi-polar all my life. I was originally misdiagnosed with ADHD when I was about six. Bi-polar disorder presents differently in children and may resemble ADHD or oppositional defiance disorder at first, like it did with me. I was mis-treated for many years and that has caused my bi-polar to worsen and become harder to treat. Had I been diagnosed and treated correctly early I wouldn’t be having so many friggin problems now.

I have BP2, so I don’t have full blown manic phases, only hypomanic phases. I am unusual though in that I can and do become psychotic, delusional, hallucinate, and can lose touch with reality. While I do the typical things others do when they are in a depressive state, i.e. stay in bed for days, weeks, a month, suicidal thoughts, etc., when I am hypomanic I am hypersexual, drink to excess, do dangerous things, and I can become dangerously violent. Just like other BP’s I have my totally normal times too that can last anywhere from a day to a couple of months before I begin to cycle again. Those normal times lull you into a sense of false security.

I think one of the reasons BP is being diagnosed more often these days is because we now know that left untreated the episodes only become worse and harder to treat. It’s called kindling. Each untreated episode is just a little more kindling thrown on the fire. If you treat the fire, it is less likely to get out of control. If you don’t treat the fire, each episode makes it bigger and hotter and harder to put out. Eventually nothing will work and the fire rages until it burns itself out…left out of control we WILL kill ourselves eventually either intentionally or by our out of control, dangerous actions. Mild BP turns into moderate BP which turns into severe BP.

I also have other problems assiociated with BP. I have panic and anxiety attacks. I have uncontrollable anger. I have extreme carbohydrate cravings. And since I am more prone to mental illnesses and due to my wonderfully awful childhood I also have (and I’m embarrassed to admit this) Borderline Personality Disorder.

My medications are my lifeline. I take Geodon, Wellbutrin, and Depakote. BUT, and that is a really big but, medication will not totally alleviate all my symptoms. I see a psychiatrist and therapist regularly, and I attend three different therapy groups each week. I go to Dialectical Behavior therapy to help me re-learn how to effectively communicate with others. I go to Anger Management to learn how to keep myself from becoming violent. And I go to Cognitive Intervention to learn to cope with, head off, and hopefully get rid of my panic attacks. Medication alone won’t work for me, and therapy alone won’t work for me. I need a combination of both in order to be a socially acceptable person.

Psychiatry is still evolving and mistakes will be made. We’ve come a long way though. Two hundred years ago I would have been either locked up for the rest of my natural life in an asylum or had a hole drilled in my head to let the demons out. Until the cause is pinned down, and the cure for the cause is found, we are all guinea pigs. As long as I’m a half way sane guinea pig I don’t mind.

95

To continue the analogy to diabetes–we can make that diagnosis definitively because we can measure blood glucose accurately, and we have defined what it means to be diabetic based on those criteria. Similarly, we have defined what it means to have a Major Depressive Disorder, or Bipolar Disorder, or whatever, and we (technically) make the diagnoses based on those criteria.

In reality, though, the DSM is primarily a research tool. You wouldn’t see someone who is having obvious bipolar features and say, “Well, you sure look bipolar to me, but you don’t meet #4 subsection A, so we’re not going to treat you.” Of course it’s subjective–unlike diabetes, we can’t measure your Depression Level with a blood test.

But how objective are the criteria for diabetes? We treat DM not because having a blood sugar of 300 is any danger to your immediate health, but because long-term elevation of blood sugar leads to problems in the heart, kidneys, eyes, and nervous system. If a fasting plasma glucose is 126, we say you have diabetes–but is the person at 126 at a greater risk for those complications than a person at 125? Do you spend ten minutes counseling the person at 126 about healthy diet and exercise, while sending the person at 125 on out of the office, reassuring him that he’s just fine? (Note: there is very little solid data behind this cutoff point.)

That’s how it is with mental disorders. You don’t have to meet the formal criteria for a disorder to be able to benefit from medications. This, to me, is the bottom line:

Life was bad.
Started taking medication.
Life now better.

Why should we feel bad about ourselves–or, worse yet, about others–for this? Why do we fret about being “dependent on medication for the rest of our lives”? (Do nearsighted people fret about being “dependent on glasses for the rest of their lives”?) Why do we go on about conditions being “overdiagnosed”? If the medication helps, great, and if it doesn’t, stop taking it. Whether the medication can help 0.5% or 5% or 50% of the population live better lives makes no difference.

Sorry for the rambling. Not much sleep.

Dr. J

96

Guinastasia your description of bing so paralyzed by depression is fascinating. (Er, I mean that in a supportive way, not a rubbernecking gawking kind of way.)

Let me take a stab at describing my hypomania, then “mixed” episode. (I’m mildly bipolar, controlled primarily through therapy unless I can’t manage on my own.)

WARNING: LONG (please, feel free to skip if you’re not interested.)

My hypomania/mania is actually rather pleasurable at the start (hence, a lot of bipolar individuals stop taking their meds – you feel “good” so why take meds?) Everything feels bigger, larger than life. Colours seem more colourful, meaningful things seem more meaningful, music sounds sweeter. I feel really, really, really confident. Hell, I should be the first female president of the USA. Doesn’t matter that I’m Canadian…

BUT my thoughts are coming rather fast. Okay, *too fast *actually. My thoughts are racing. I talk faster to keep up with all the cool ideas with fancy turns of phrase. I’m a lot of fun to be around because I’m witty and clever. But I’m starting to talk so fast that people can’t understand me and I’m stuttering because my mouth can’t keep up with everything I’m thinking and trying to say. My friends now find it annoying because they can’t get four words out before I interrupt them and a conversation is impossible. I’m also calling them too late. What? It’s only 12:30 on a Tuesday night!

My co-worker is getting annoyed. We share an office and I can’t sit still. I won’t shut up and my animated prattle is distracting. Especially distracting because I’ve starting rhyming words and using alliterations. I stand up and wander around the office every two seconds and can’t focus on my work because I’m too hyper. I take on as many extra tasks as possible – I have seven jobs all due tomorrow. Not enough. I’m on such a roll I can do more and still at top notch quality. Bring it on! Heck, I feel as smart as Cecil!

I can’t sit still anymore at all. I keep standing up and my desk then sitting back down. When I go to the bathroom I do little tap-dance in the stall before I take my seat to do my business. I have to bite my bottom lip so I don’t start singing. (Wouldn’t want my co-workers to think I’m crazy.)

I start feeling a little distressed. My thoughts are racing so bad that it feels like a hurricane is whipping about in my head. It’s kind of like drinking seventeen cups of espresso. I’m wired! I’m so agitated I feel like running around in circles – there’s so much energy in my head. Too much. I’m getting irritable… really cranky. My computer mouse is a little sticky and in a rage I smash it to pieces. The fucking thing.

On the way home from work, I decide to take a detour for the fun of it… I drive six hours to Montreal! I don’t know the city, don’t know anyone there, I arrive at 11 p.m. during a blizzard with only $20 in my pocket, and I have to be at work tomorrow. What a great adventure! I’m so cool! I’m so spontaneous! I rock!

The mixed episode: I don’t suffer from “depression” proper. No, lucky me I get “mixed” episodes. Depression and mania at the same time. Oh, joy. Oh, bliss. The most accurate I’ve heard it described is as despairing anxiety. The hurricane rush of thoughts is still slamming around inside the little space of my cranium, but now it’s not nice and fun. It’s dark, corrupt and hopeless. I’m sitting in my car shrieking. (It’s the only place I can shriek without anyone hearing and calling for help.)

It’s not panic, but feels similar. “Panic” is external. Panic is when someone is coming to kill you or you’re trapped in a burning house. Panic is when you fight the bad guy for your life or try to smash the window to escape the flames. No, this despairing anxiety is internal. This despairing anxiety is finding out you have Sigourney Weaver’s alien inside your chest. It is HUGE and terrifying and hopeless and all you can do is beat on your chest – that won’t help it’ll pop out and destroy you eventually. It’s as big and visceral a feeling as “panic” but it’s more horrible in that there is no direction or target to focus your fear and despair. There’s no rational reason for it. It’s just this undescribably huge phenomenon!

It’s like hyper-energetic depression. But rather than tap-dance like I did in the bathroom, I’m begging to be put to sleep. Knock me out! I don’t care what it takes. There is too much going on in my head! It’s like I’ve got the whole spectrum of emotions running through me -zoom!- the whole range in the blink of an eye! Only cranked up like an electric signal through an amplifier. It’s not happy, sad, anxious, afraid, sad. It’s HAPPY, SAD, ANXIOUS, AFRAID, SAD. All really fastfastfastfastfastfast! HAPPYSADANXIOUSAFRAIDSAD Spinning in a vortex. My mind is too small to accomodate it all!

Please, someone make me sleep! I want to sleep so desperately. If I’m asleep, I’ll get a brief respite from it all. Lying in bed (or on the floor of my closet – good place to sleep when the mind-cyclone hits) I keep thinking “I’ll be dead by morning. No one can feel like this and live through the night.”

Luckily, I’ve never had any kind of deliberate suicidal thoughts, but once my housemate stayed home from work to keep an eye on me – I was so desperate to make the desparing anxiety go away, he was a little worried that I might take too much sleepytime medication or something in order to make myself sleep. If not for tricks my therapist has taught me, I’d be more of a danger to myself when I’m manic because I’m reckless.

Note: Other people’s experiences may vary.

BTW aside from a couple wobbly moments, I’ve been on a consistenly even keel for about two years now. Yay!

97

auntie em: Regarding your “sheer determination vs. medication” question, I actually found that in my case determination worked better than medication. (Yes, I realize that this isn’t MPSIMS, but the explanation really doesn’t work without the whole Life Story bit.) I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder as a freshman in H.S., went on Depakote and Prozac, and all was well – my mood swings completely disappeared. Four years later (as a freshman in college) my stress levels went through the roof, and I suffered from an extremely severe bout of depression (lasting several months) despite the fact that I kept taking my medication (and actually had my dosages increased). The problem is that my meds were more than capable of dealing with my mild/moderate mood swings, but they crapped out when I had a severe mood swing. It also takes quite awhile for the meds to reach their new blood concentration when the dosage is increased, so it’s not like I was able to simply double my dosage on especially bad days – by the time the meds kicked in, it was already too late to prevent the depression from feeding on itself.

After I finally worked through my depression (two blown semesters of college later) I went back to taking my meds as I had before, but I was badly shaken by the whole ordeal – if my meds were just going to crap out again when I had another severe mood swing, then what good were they? So, a coupla years later, (under the supervision of my shrink), I went off of my meds. I still suffered from mood swings, but they were all of the mild-to-moderate variety (just like most of them had been prior to my going on meds in the first place) – the frequent bouts with depression were unpleasant (my mania was never very troublesome), but I learned that my brain would unfuck itself if I just gave it enough time (mild-to-moderate depressions would almost always be corrected within two days, and often within a matter of hours). I could help my brain out by not giving in to despair – despair never fixes anything, so even if I did have a valid reason to be despairing (maybe my puppy had just been run over) I could just repeat the mantra “Despair solves nothing,” and (if I were diligent) I could avoid sinking deeper into depression. My brain wouldn’t unfuck itself if I allowed my depression to feed on itself, but so long as I took active measures against my depression (doing activities that I enjoyed would help to some extent, but avoiding despair was the key) it wouldn’t worsen.

The point of all of this self-abuse was to prepare myself for the next Big One, the next weeks-long bout with depression. It paid off – about five months ago (two or two-and-a-half years after going off of my meds) I had a Big One that lasted for ten days. It was ten days of pure misery, but going off of the meds paid off in the end – I was able to keep the depression from worsening beyond control (thanks to the practice I’d gotten with my lesser bouts with depression), and eventually (finally) my brain unfucked itself.

I still have mood swings (some bad, some not-so-bad), but now, as far as I’m concerned, I’m cured. Whatever kind of shit my brain tries to throw at me, I’m ready.

98

I have never heard of Bipolar III. I wonder if my weird episodes when I was on Wellbutrin could be classified as that. I was not me, not me one, bit my moods would swing from peaceful to extreme bitch to depressed in a matter of minutes. I think a few here might remember that time, maybe not, I sure do. I can handle me when my ADD funky side comes out (more risk taking, etc…) but when I was on Wellbutrin I was (for lack of a better term) wacked out.

I am ADD, was diagnosed when I was 15, 21 and again at 28. The first test was a full day of testing with who was the best psychiatrist in our city. The follow ups were to confirm that I still have it. Not nearly as intense as the first test but conclusive none-the-less.

I am going in YET again at the beginning of February to hopefully find a doctor that will prescribe me my ritalin.

I have been on at least four different depression meds over my lifetime, since I was 21 (I am now 34.) The only way to get me to be a “normal” human is the ritalin and my last psychiatrist agreed that it was the only way for me to be “medicated.” This after an attempt at suicide and an email to my brother. Thank God my dad stepped in after my brother discussed with him, the nature of my email. I was on trazadone, which made me feel highly drugged. We dropped the trazadone and went with a ritalin only course and it seems to have worked, although I have moved so been without it since 1998.

I have been on Wellbutrin, as described above. Those types of drugs simply do not work for me and the doc didn’t listen to me. He had access to my medical history and since haven’t seen a doc. But I am Feb 4th, I look forward to being normal.

The thing is, most people with potential mental health issues should not see their GP for a prescription for drugs, most people should see a psychiatrist or at least a pyschologist to get the GP to prescribe the meds.

If you walk in to a GP and they write a script, you are doing yourself a disservice. If you think you have a problem it must be tackled by those that understand more than the human anatomy and have a good understanding of the human psyche. Not just a counselor either.

Mental health issues are a problem with society and probably help companies spend a shit load of money on sick days than had a psych type doc diagnosed and helped out those that really need it.

How do you know if you are clinically depressed or bi-polar or ADD/ADHD or among the other things that could be an issue?

I would say to examine your life. If you can’t crawl out of bed for weeks, there’s a feeling of dread in everything you do, you can’t shake a feeling of sadness and you’d rather hide than be in society, you probably are clinically depressed…this is a thing that lasts longer than a month. Your brain chemicals have changed and need help. This doesn’t mean you will be on them for life, but in some circumstances you just might. I have an aunt like that. Not bi-polar but perpetually depressed.

If you are like me, that you can do stuff but it takes extra, I mean extra brain effort but are generally okay, if you are easily distracted from one task to the next, if your teachers said you are very smart but can’t pay attention, your boss gets on your case for forgetting appointments or deadlines regularly, you are somewhat a risk taker (meaning you don’t think) before you leap, there is a possiblity you are ADD/ADHD. Often the ADD/ADHD person will self medicate from an early age. Not saying this doesn’t apply to other mental health issues but if you see it in your children, chances are you and/or your spouse are ADD/ADHD.

Bi-polar symptoms. They can cross over to ADD/ADHD behavior but in longer and more pronounced spurts, if you will. My brother questioned my ADD who thought I was bi-polar and when I explained to him the difference between me and a bi-polar, he recognized that I am most definately ADD.

My mother was bi-polar, she died in 1983 of colon cancer but knowing what I know now, she was only being treated for her depression side. She wasn’t the extreme side that some bi-polar people represent but man, she could go from 0-bitch in a matter of seconds and other times the same things I would do would be brushed off. In those days, she was treated with valium and talk therapy. (She was my adoptive mom.) Had they known more about “manic depression” then, I think my mom would have lived a lot longer and more fullfilled life with the proper meds. She freaked me out on a lot of occassions, I mean FREAKED me out.

For example: I remember one night, she came home from playing bridge at the country club. Yes, she was an alcoholic and had some drinking under her belt that night (I was in 8th grade.) Anyhow, she came home and checked to make sure I was in my bed, safe and sound. Problem was, for her, I had my clean sheets on my bed but I was sleeping on my mattress, with the sheets not PUT properly on my bed. Keep in mind that my mother was never a neat freak, in fact, borderline slob.

She proceeded to chase me around the house telling me what a fucked up kid I was for not putting sheets on my bed. She wasn’t looped (aka drunk off her ass) she was manic. In hindsight, I should have seen this coming. Thankfully her live-in boyfriend wrangled her (while he was chasing after her who chasing after me) into calming down. I don’t think my dad ever heard of this tale, if he had, he would have removed me directly on the confines that she were to get serious emotional help.

I remember the great “highs” my mom would have and things would actually “be fun” but the other times were horrible and memories I try to not remember but still haunt me.

Bi-polar, manic depression, whatever you call it can be a very scary thing for kids growing up in homes where a parent is not properly treated. It’s probably what fucked me over on top of my ADD. There’s a reason my dad divorced my mom but it wasn’t fully understoos, he couldn’t handle the mood swings and the weirdness of it all. Back in the 70s, it was not treated as well as it is today.

As for the idea that everyone has a problem and there’s a medication for it, well, that depends on your vision of those you hang out with or choose to hang out with. Many of the people I know probably could stand a Prozac and such. I can also see that there are many in my life that would not benefit from Prozac or such because they don’t have chemical imbalances of the brain, they live normal lives that most of us with mental health issues would love to have. Being able to take the highs and lows with effort but not so much that it taxes your brain and sometimes your physical self.

Most of my family are pretty normal. My dad, step-mom (well that’s a different story,) brothers, sis-in-laws, etc… I don’t think that a lot of it is purely a quick diagnosis by a GP, if people really want to know if they are dealing with life like a so-called “normal” person should seek excellent mental health care and not a quick fix.

This will be the umpteenth time I have sought out ritalin. Not because it makes me “feel” better but that it makes my life more like a normal person, I never feel “better” or “different” but my friends and family notice the difference. I still have a lot of self behavior issues to deal with (like remembering an appointment etc…) but overall ritalin (or it’s equiv, methylphenidate ((sp)) ) helps me be productive, focused when need be and a productive being without feeling high, buzzed, etc…I drink less, I smoke less, I just want to participate in life. Without it I don’t do much of anything.

Having this idea that a diagnosis is “popular” is crap in my opinion, assuming the person (adult or child) goes to a reputable and schooled doctor that can determine with very strong results the nature of the problem. Sometimes talk therapy works, sometimes it’s doesn’t.

Having a bad week at work is one thing, having your life coming down on you at every turn where all you want to do is sleep or hide or whatever, is a completely different animal all together.

99

I think Kay Redfield Jamison does a good job of describing her experiences of bipolar disorder in An Unquiet Mind. I recommend it to bipolar clients/patients and their families, and I’d recommend it to the SDMB folks who are unfamiliar with bipolar disorder.

100

Shoshana, that’s the first book I read after my own diagnosis. I think it’s worth mentioning the author is a Professor of Psychiatry at the John Hopkins School of Medicine, giving her all this added insight into Bipolar disorder. It’s a wonderful book.