I can’t believe that no one has yet suggested pickled beets (or beetroot, as it’s known Down Under). It’s a popular topping that is the default on many McDonald’s and other fast food burgers in Australia.
I was skeptical of it myself until I tried it… now I put beets on all my hamburgers. Yum!
Another interesting thing to try is Roquefort cheese, but only if you don’t mind the flavour of the cheese overpowering everything else on the burger…
Australian checking in
Beetroot is definantly a required element but the other one is a fried egg…
Goes into the local takeaway
A burger with the lot thanks
Recieves Toasted bun, beef pattie topped with egg, beetroot, lettuce, tomato, fried onion, ketchup.
Walks away happy
I had a hamburger with fried egg on it for the first time yesterday. It was really good, and I may have to add that to my repertoire.
Here’s my roommate’s recipe:[ul]
[li] Muenster[/li][li] Mustard[/li][li] Sour cream[/li][li] Black olives[/li][li] Bacon[/li][li] Cheddar sauce[/ul][/li]He’s a bit less daring than I am when it comes to food. 
salt and pepper
chili sauce
brown mustard
mayo
dill pickle chips
sliced raw onion
bacon
Velveeta cheese (a food product that serves only one purpose and this is it)
blue cheese dressing, the more pungent the better
horseradish, ditto
served on a non-toasted sesame seed bun
I have seen one of the world’s most reknowned chefs, the delightful Julia Childs, cook a hamburger at least twice on television.
Now that’s a chef I can relate to!
As I recall, the dressings were the classics: toasted bun, cheddar cheese, pickle, lettuce, tomato, and mayo. Meat patty cooked in a cast iron pan, and the whole thing looked like the best meal I have ever seen a television chef prepare.
Oh, and Ukelele Ike, if you would like to see every possible variety of bratwurst, just show up around Lambeau Field any game day about 2 hours before the kickoff.
Ohh! Almost forgot.
Absolutely, positively must be on a fresh Kaiser bun with lots-o-sesame seeds.
BTW - People, put some hot sauce on it. Nothing too wicked, thats why I like *Louisana Hot Sauce. It just gives it an extra zing.
White bread bun.
Meat.
Tons of salt.
Slurp!
I’m sorry, but I have to do this.
"Top Secret Recipes version of McDonald’s® Big Mac Sauce®
(“Special Sauce”)
by Todd Wilbur
If you like Big Macs, it’s probably because of that tasty “secret” spread that is plopped onto both decks of the world’s most popular double-decker hamburger. So what’s so special about this sauce? After all, it’s basically just thousand island dressing, right? Pretty much. But this sauce has a bit more sweet pickle relish in it than a typical thousand island salad slather. Also, I found that this clone comes close to the original with the inclusion of French dressing. It’s an important ingredient - ketchup just won’t do it. That, along with a sweet & sour flavor that comes from vinegar and sugar, makes this sauce go well on any of your home burger creations, whether they’re Big Mac clones or not. This is the closest “special sauce” clone you’ll find anywhere.
1/2 cup mayonnaise
2 tablespoons French dressing
4 teaspoons sweet pickle relish
1 tablespoon finely minced white onion
1 teaspoon white vinegar
1 teaspoon sugar
1/8 teaspoon salt
Well, I have to give y’all some important information that has been missed here, so far.
Inre ultrafilter’s “the more flavors, the better” theory: no, I must disagree. Here we are looking for a symphony, not a cacophony. We have a star performer and it’s the burger. Piling in more accompaniment will only confuse the issue.
Inre wump’s grinding up a baseball!? My God, man, you only get one or two of those per sirloin butt and their proper fate is to be grilled rare (or at most rare+). No, for a burger grind up some nice chuck yourself and you’ll be wondering what the Vons done the street has been selling you all these years.
To the OP: Form your patty about 1/2" oversize in diameter so that the shrinkage in the cooking proces renders a finished burger the same diameter as your bun and leaves the all-important meat/bun/trimmings ratio constant through the entire feast.
Nobody has mentioned this yet so I feel compelled to: the hamburger is a structure and as such order of assembly is vital. We don’t put our basements on top of our roofs now, do we? So, toast the bun lightly and place a single, full green leaf of iceberg lettuce folded to shape on the lower bun half. This will help protect the thin bread of that half from the dreaded “soaked-goo” syndrome that we all hate.
Dress your upper bun half with some Gulden’s mustard and just a little Heinz ketchup and just a little good mayo. The ripe tomato slice goes on next. While the burger is cooking, by the way, be sure to season with a little salt and a good dusting of fresh cracked black pepper. Cheese, if used, is added at the end of the grilling to only warm the cheese, not to melt the snot out of it.
So there you are with a prepped bottom and top bun and a cooked burger. Put the burger on the lower half and cover it with a generous slice of a sweet Walla-walla onion (they’re sweet and mild, so you can get away with a nice thick slice for texture), cover them all up with… Well I think you get my point.
k2dave- Government cheese doesn’t melt. It’s made from used re-entry tiles off of the Space Shuttle.
Ahhh, a subject near and dear to the flodheart. Let’s start with the part yinz are neglecting, okay? The roll. It isn’t just there to keep your fingers clean, kids, it’s part of the experience. It should be something that you really have to chew. Slow down and savor the burger experience. Although I realize this will offend some smaller minds, I propose a kaiser roll.
Now, of course, we have the patty. Lean enough not to be greasy, but not so lean as to be flavorless.
Cheese. Though I love Cheddar, I submit that a proper Cheddar is too dry to melt properly, and by necessity the cheese on a burger must be melted. Muenster is excellent. Monterey Jack will do nicely too. How about Havarti? Ahh, so many cheeses, so little time…
A hunka hunka sweet onion. Red is my favorite, but Vidalia onions can be interesting as well.
Pickles, some crispy kosher dills please, sliced nice and thick.
A delicate sprinkling of salt.
And atop it all… a dollop of Heinz ketchup. Accept no substitutes.
Bon appet… Hey wait a minute, what am I saying? This is my cheeseburger! Shoo! Shoo! 
From the bottom up…
Bun, barbecue sauce, meat pattie, grilled onions, bacons, cheese, egg, tomato, BEETROOT (yes, I’m Australian :)), lettuce, other half of bun.
If there’s ever a Dopefest in my town, I’m buying hamburgers at Kermond’s and your eyes will be opened to the glory of the true hamburger.
I’m actually quite partial to patty melts myself, otherwise, I’ll take a kaiser bun with:
medium-rare burger (grilled, of course)
sharp cheddar cheese
grilled or raw onions (depending on my mood)
pickle slices
simple yellow mustard (aka french’s)
a small dallop of ketchup
perhaps a dab of mayo
tomato slices
no lettuce
Nice and simple. I’m not normally a fan of french’s or ketchup, but it works for me on burgers.
Place medium burger on bottom of fresh bun. Apply ketchup
to top bun. Put top bun on burger. Eat. Mock me, I dare you.
Is this the time to mention I like french fries mainly because they are a good utensil for consuming ketchup?
oh, no mocking here…there is beauty in simplicity…
much better than that really odd red-headed stepchild of a burger mentioned in the OP Oh, and a truly good fry is one that doesn’t need ketchup…(but you a free to put it on if you wish. salt and vinegar is better. mayo is, well, certain to give you a coronary, but quite good, actually.)
French fries are perfect with almost any condiment. Ketchup, vinegar, mayo, gravy, barbecue sauce, horseradish, salad dressing (blue cheese or thousand island are especially good), cheez whiz, cocktail sauce, A1, honey mustard, tartar sauce, sweet and sour, duck sauce, that weird fruit sauce Arby’s serves with stuffed jalapenos, hot fudge … okay, maybe not hot fudge.
thick sliced bacon
avocado
bleu cheese
Haj
Wow. I think I gotta change my pants.
My contribution:
Colby-Jack cheese, or thick hunka cheddar
Lots of dill pickles.
Mustard
Rare cow over a grill
store-brand hamburger roles, toasted on the grill
Then, for a perfect experience:
Ice-cold Dos Equis
Salt & Vinegar potato chips
On a picnic bench