Dear Boss.
“I’m racing a deadline” does not mean “let’s schedule yet another hour long meeting to discuss why I don’t have time”. It means, “Leave me the hell alone and let me do my work!”
I live in a Dilbert cartoon some days.
Word 2007 makes me want to shoot myself in the head.
Holy Tydee Bowl Jesus runnin’ across the blue water, why the hell am I always the one making the decisions? How the fucking hell did you people become so indecisive? You managed to choose a shirt to put on this morning, why is it so hard to choose where to have lunch? Tomorrow I’m bringing my lunch, just so I can watch you idiots starve to death.
Don’t knock it 'til you’ve tried it. And you’ll try it. If you know what’s good for you. (Now imagine I’m drumming my fingers suggestively on a large metal capsule that is labeled “DEFINITELY NOT EBOLA.”)
I was using 6,697,254,041.
Well, right now it’s Mo-Th, 6:45 p.m. to 11 p.m. Central. But that’s subject to change once we don’t have to go to work anymore.
If you’ll check the shipping label, you’ll note that your capsule came from Evil Inc. I am, of course, inoculated against its effects. Admittedly you might wreak havoc on others, but you can’t seriously think I care.
“Facts are a crutch for people without the courage to stand by they know to be true.”
Ronald W. Reagan, 1983.
I just reused the container. I like to be environmentally responsible, after all. This is my own personal stash of NO, SERIOUSLY GUYS, NOT EBOLA.
“Quotes just a crutch for people drop words from sentences.”
You need to think more clearly. You want to track down Word’s chief developer and shoot HIM or HER in the head.
Sometimes I feel like I haven’t taught you people anything. Makes me sad.
But in Word 2003 there was a pull-down menu under “Tools” for Shoot Self in the Head, and now in Word 2007, the option has changed to Shoot Developer in the Head, but I can’t find it on either the Add-Ins Ribbon OR the Developer Ribbon. When I go to Help, it just describes Shooting a Developer in the Head, but doesn’t tell me how to do it.
You’re seriously going to rely on WORD to commit your murders? Are you TRYING to go to prison after accidentally killing the wrong person?
But it’s a Microsoft product. It just wants to heeeeeeelp!!! It commited the murder for me and wouldn’t let me turn the murder function off!!
(“It looks like you want to shoot a developer in the head.”)
I think I’m going to hurl if this woman walks by my desk again. Why, you ask? Well, I’ll tell you. You know that smell that results when women sprinkle baby powder in their hair because they didn’t wash it? My grandmother did this often, so I usually associate it with old ladies. I loathe this smell. If I could choose to smell that scent or manure, I’d choose manure in a heartbeat. But this woman who just reeks of that old lady scent keeps walking by my desk, wafting rancid baby powder and unwashed hair each time she passes. When I see her coming, I try to breathe through my mouth for a moment, but it’s such a strong aroma and I have a stupidly strong sense of smell, which means that it should’ve dissipated a few seconds after she’s gone, but I can still smell traces of it. So having her walk by is just the icing on the cake of a shitty, shitty day smack dab in the middle of a shittier week.
I am sick of advice givers. It’s a rant, I am ranting, I am not seeking your “wisdom”.
STFU and let me rant.
78% of statistics are made up on the spot. If you’ll excuse me, I think I’m wanted in Great Debates. 
You guys are killing me here today - this is supposed to be people bitching and moaning, not people posting funny things!
I swear that the next person that tries to push past me to get on the elevator I’m exiting will get bulldozed onto their impatient asses.
Then I will smile down at them and ever so politely say, “Excuse me.”
jackasses
Advice is not Wisdom. The price of Wisdom is paid in blood, not freely given like so much wind.
If you work in an office more than three time zones away from mine, DO NOT forget to log out of our server. It doesn’t do me any good that you’ll be in at 9 a.m. when that won’t be 'til I’m going to sleep.
You know, if you post on a message board, or even a blog, people are going to respond and comment. If you just want to vent, get a journal or a dog.
Wink.
a) what niblet_head said
2) also, migraines
Thank you. You just made my day.
You ever work with someone who just DOES NOT SHUT UP? I think I am going insane. My head hurts.
MAKE IT STOP!
The elevator at work plays oldeez muzak. I work on the third floor. That brief ride is enough to implant some annoying fucking earworms.
"I love you more today than yes!ter!day!
“But not as much as tomorrooooooooooooooooooooooow…”