Stupid flying anxiety. I was fine, FINE, up until just an hour ago. I fly this evening, and though I keep telling myself how safe it is, how I’ll be fine, and then try not to think about it, all of a sudden BAM, rush of adrenaline and weird vision for a half second, making me think about it all over again.
Can I commandeer your house for a few days? I’m not a soldier, so the 3rd Amendment doesn’t apply.
It’s exercise theater. Let them have their fun.
I sent off a resume to a job that sounded promising yesterday - I got the spam email back today. It’s a scam! {said in Admiral Ackbar’s voice} Goddammit, I had hopes for that job! And I don’t even drink, or I’d suggest that we spend the rest of the day getting shitfaced.
You bastards have taken our heat! We can’t get a friggin’ warm day here to save our lives this spring. Frost warnings in effect for some days this week again - it will be JUNE next Tuesday!
I live in an apartment, but you may sleep on my couch. (It pulls out into a bed.) However, please note that my boyfriend will be visiting over the long weekend, so you may wish to invest in ear plugs. Also, you get last dibs on the shower.
ETA: If you can make it to BWI by early tomorrow evening, you might be able to hitch a ride in his luggage.
Not every couple wants to get married.
Not every couple wants to have kids.
Not every couple is looking to buy a house.
Just back the fuck off with your "you should"s and your stupid committed-couple timetables and mind your own fucking business.
So hey Geek, WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO MAKE ME A GRANDMA?!
Absolutely NOTHING is pissing me off today.
I switched shiofts with someone for today and was able to sleep in, planning to work later in the day.
I already had tomorrow scheduled off.
Yesterday I half jokingly asked for today off too.
My boss called me just after noon and said I was now on the schedule to be off today, so don’t come in or he’d kick me out of the building.
Then I’ll be working Friday and Saturday, followed by a 3 day weekend.
So in summary, 2 days off (weekend), work one day (yesterday), two days off, work two days, 3 days off.
(Cut to 2 second clip of Borat saying “Nice!”)
Motherfucking Time Warner Cable.
I had an appointment set up for today so they could come and install a cable card in my TiVo. I really don’t understand why a technician is required for this, but whatever. Well, the technician never showed up, Time Warner can’t tell me why the asshole never bothered to show, and the next appointment they can give me is on Sunday. Now I have to go disconnect the TiVo so I can watch the digital cable channels.
Assholes.
After you’re dead, Mom!
“Once I get all the parts.”
Why is everyone parking in front of our house? They don’t live here. Parking isn’t particularly tight here, but it is the suburbs, and suburb rules apply.
OK, so we’re getting some delicious lovely cool air at the moment – temp dropped ten degrees in the house already in about fifteen minutes and I think it’s dropped more like 25 outside. Phew.
Howwwwwever. We just got back from a prenatal checkup and it seems our son is *already *determined to sit on his butt all day. At 36 1/7 weeks, he needs to be doing a headstand or he’ll be breech come delivery time, which means a C-section, which nobody, least of all me, wants. So we have an appointment next week for the docs to try to squoosh him into a better position. This is a very high-tech medical procedure we’re talking about here: one or two docs, using hands on the outside of my belly, will push the kid around inside my uterus. This has a roughly 50-60% chance of getting the kid properly repositioned (and having him stay there).
HE BETTER STAY THERE.
emma, my boy wouldn’t turn either…I used to rub the top of his little head as he tried to push it up to my ribcage. I wound up having the Caesarian and it was groovy. I clicked on your link but couldn’t watch it. That just gives me the willies somehow!
Someone at work recently decided that it was no fun to pay for storage and we could certainly fit ten years worth of glass slides in a little room here. So this room is stuffed with boxes of slides weighing about 20 pounds each, stacked to a height of about six feet. I just tried to return some slides to that room.
The procedure, should anyone ever want to try it again: Squeeze yourself into the narrow aisle. Turn your head somewhat to the right, then with just your eyes, look as far left as you can. Hopefully this will give you the distance you need to focus your vision on the millimeter-height numbers on the box. There are lots of them, such as the storage company’s box number, our old box number, the account number, and some other numbers that no one knows anything about. If you’re lucky, you will find the number which describes the range of slides contained in the box. Some of these boxes even have a year.
Now that you have totally failed to find the correct box, pat yourself on the back and remind yourself that there ain’t no fucking way you could have gotten anything out of it if you had.
Yo, noisy boy.
We are having a company-wide conference call about the fate of the company. I’m shocked that you are not listening in on this since there’s a lot of big stuff about to go down. But the fact that you choose to stand in the hall and talk so loud that I can’t hear myself think, nor the speaker speak, is beyond rude.
I sent you an email asking you to pipe down - obviously you aren’t reading that. I need to work, I can’t be in the conference room with everyone else - but it would be nice if I could still know what’s going on.
Apparently those rules no long exist. If we want to use the curb in front of our house, we have to post signs. I really wish my city would lower the people-per-house rule!
OK. Now what’s pissing me off is several well-meaning, well-educated FB friends, including one full-fledged maternity nurse (!!!), suggesting that I fix my breech baby with moxibusion and/or prenatal chiropractic.
For those not in the know, with “moxibustion” they are suggesting that I have an acupuncturist burn mugwort herb near my pinkie toe. To quote one of my friends, “The smoke gets into your body through the foot and works its magic.” There are not enough roll-eyes smilies on teh Intertubes.
I’ll make you a deal–how about instead, I fart by your elbow and only charge you half as much!
Good god, Shot, I laughed so hard I think the baby turned. Your check is in the mail.
As long as they’re not suggesting you burn tea leaves near your right nipple. That would be ridiculous.