Hey neighborhood altacockers could you please find some place else to live?
Neighbor number 1:
Whines that she hears children playing and cranks up music when she hears said children playing. Realizing that tactic doesn’t work she switches to the run the damned lawnmover for three hours idea.
Neighbor number 2:
Puts up yet another pro life sign to go with her upteen signs supporting governor Christie and his stupid fights with the teachers of this state. You want people to have them you’d better damn well fund the schools you hypocritical old bitch!
Neighbor number 3:
Decided years and years ago that we could use her driveway as a bus stop in the morning. Decided a few days she hates us using her driveway to wait for the school bus in the morning.
Does she speak to the neighborhood parents about her concerns?
Nah.
She contacts the elementary school principal to whine about us behind our backs. This leads said principal to send out a not so nice email and call our children out of school to lecture them on their alleged improper behavior.
Up yours lady. My seven year old still thinks she did something wrong yesterday when all she does in the morning is read quietly or play a game of jump rope with her friends for five minutes before the bus shows up. She’s never littered in her life. You can go to hell for making her come home crying yesterday about being sent to the principal’s office.
You and your fellow old farts should move to a retirement community and be done with it. The only goddamned reason property values haven’t fallen here is because all of us evil families with children actually want a neighborhood with other kids and good schools.
P.S. Your grown son sucks. He’s nearly run me over twice this week and I strongly suspect he was drunk behind the wheel the last time he did it. I will report his lawbreaking ass the next time his car comes so close to me I can hear his breathing.
Buy plain carbonated water. This is sometimes called “seltzer water”: carbonated water that is not flavoured or tinted or naturally carbonated or salted or brought over from Europe where it is bottled at the source in Poland by busty blonde maidens… just clean pure water, with added carbon dioxide. I get mine for 99c/L at No Frills.
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We just bought one a couple weeks ago and it’s great. Particularly the part where you can add all the carbonation you like. However we picked it up at Sears and you can only get refills and extra co2 cartridges through their website. Which I didn’t realize until ours was almost empty. Now the machine sits on my counter forlorn and useless.
If you’re better at planning ahead than I however Soda stream is a good option.
I do this a lot. I haven’t had any type of commercial pop in fifteen years. It annoys me when a restaurant offers a combo and won’t substitute water or juice for the soda.
The fruit juice isn’t such a good idea; I have no intention of drinking stuff that has more than a few calories, and most fruit juice is pure sugar. The seltzer water is an excellent idea, though.
In other rants, because they just keep on coming:
Cat, you and I had a deal. I wouldn’t force you through the indignity of getting your ass groomed inexpertly by a single awkward person, and you wouldn’t get large quantities of liquid shit entangled in your fur. You couldn’t hold up your end of the deal. I now need a drink. Or a good breakfast, at least.
On the upside, I now know how to shave a cat’s ass in less than 5 minutes without help. If you can call that an upside.
I have been working on a horrible project at work since May 25th. It is huge, confusing, extremely important, and tedious beyond belief. For days and days I’ve spent all day doing pretty much the same thing over and over and over. I worked really hard on it yesterday because I could see light at the end of the tunnel. Work hard today, I said to myself, then you can coast tomorrow and Thursday and you’ll be done! Done with The Horrible No Good Very Bad project!
Nope.
Today I get an email from the lawyers. “We’ve decided to change how we want you to report this, this, and this. Change this to this. You no longer have to include this.”
Which means I have to go back and change 90 reports and 90 spreadsheets.
I’m not kidding when I say I started to cry when I read that email.
I don’t know. Seriously. Ethically I don’t know if I can do it, professionally I don’t know, either. I have this bad problem at work where I don’t feel like I can say no.
Which is exactly how I end up doing Horrible No Good Very Bad Projects. Have niblet do it! She’s smart and she can’t say no!!
I know, I know. Thank god I have an appointment with my therapist at noon.
Wait… How is it EVER ACCEPTABLE to fucking THROW A PIECE OF METAL AT SOMEONE (even in their general direction) to get their attention? Couldn’t get off your fat ass and walk over there?
I will give you a dollar if you add this to your OkC profile.
Ok, I went back and re-read the email, and now I’m just furious. If I’d known the lawyers were discussing all these issues, I would not have done all this work. I would’ve waited until I got their final decisions.
I believe I shall be composing an email to the CEO now.
I empathize niblet_head. Nothing worse than having a values conflict at work. Well, hardly anything.
Today, my feel-good mood is jarred by a friend who wrote a long, early morning email which opened a whole can of worms. She says she’s uncomfortable discussing this with me. So I get an email!
No way am I conversing by email on this subject. Dang.
I’m not interested in this discussion and if I’m going to have it Im definitely going to have to get in the car and drive somwhere where we can talk in person.
Just when you think you’ve got all your loose ends tied up. . .
So, I’ve dropped her a note and offered to get together on Friday. Ball’s in her court. Smiling again.
I’m glad to hear you’ve finally finished your work. However, yeterday I completed my work based on what I was led to believe was the final version. I have other urgent work that now needs to take priority. Here’s the work I completed yesterday, in case you’d like to find someone else to take over the project and make your changes.
[Kisses], niblet
ETA: Hopefully, your “other urgent work” is a big-ass pitcher of margaritas.
The beauty of fruit juice and soda is that you adjust how much fruit juice you want - a quarter cup of fruit juice is not going to break the calorie bank, and as you get used to less sugary-tasting drinks, that’s all you need.
I thought at first you were talking to me. Then I realized you weren’t.
Now, did you ask about this at the start, or assume it was time to get to work on the project, or were you actually told to go ahead and do all the work you did? ETA: I realize that sounds accusatory - it’s not intended to be. I just want to help you avoid this kind of tremendous pain-in-the-ass in the future.
Nice.
See, this is one of the many reasons I refuse to do admin work in the legal world. If you’re an admin, you usually just have to suck it up and re-do all your work because someone else had a whim. My mantra has and always will be, “I get paid by the hour.”
Please don’t tell me you’re salaried, Niblet_Head.
I am salaried. In fact, I’m an Executive Assistant, and not an admin for lawyers at all. I was given this project because it would cost a ton for the lawyers/paralegals to do it.
And I’m “smart”. And I can’t say no. Anyone got any ammo lying around? I’m all out from shooting myself in the foot over and over… :smack:
No, Cat, your questions are reasonable. I did an initial amount of work. Asked them to check it. I got a big email back saying “correct this, update that, fix this”. No problem. Did all the changes, noted the parts where they said “we’re still working on this topic on this subset of reports” and didn’t do anything with that subset. So, I thought I had the all-clear.
The one exception is the spreadsheets. I see now that there is a comment that they will be making changes to the spreadsheets but “this” (the first feedback email) “will give you something to get started on”. So I should not have done any of the spreadsheets. I missed that comment. I will own that. God, I’m such a jackass sometimes.
You’ve established what they can get away with with you at this company already, but can you sort of wean them off dumping all the unpleasant crap on you? Maybe the next project that comes along, you make it clear from the start that it gets done after your regular duties, and if it takes too long for them and they have to take it back to get it finished, well, you warned them. You CAN say “no” - it just has to sound like “yes.”
