It looks like burlap! :eek: 
Actually, I was thinking it looks like carpet.
Guys in ratted-out beater cars that have spray-painted the brake drums bright red, thinking they’ve got the world fooled into thinking the car has Brembo brakes.
Often the same car has “chrome” wheels that are obviously cheap plastic hubcaps held onto the stamped steel wheels with zip-ties.
A wood spoiler? And I thought the guys who’d lash a 2x8 board to the back of their truck with baling wire to replace the bumper were goobers.
Just last night, a guy in my apartment complex started up his Harley, and it really is a beautiful bike.
Only it backfired once every three seconds. It sounded really bad.
I’ve heard it before, months ago, so it’s not like it is a temporary problem.
Why have a pretty bike with an annoying, obviously sick engine?
Way back when, when I was in the Navy, one of my fellow Electrician Mates had a $1000 Alpine stereo and speakers in his $300 beater Honda. I always thought he took lame to max.
Hey Rick, nice coding on the B[sup]l[/sup][sub]a[/sub]u[sup]p[/sup][sub]u[/sub]n[sup]k[/sup][sub]e[/sub]t[sup]e[/sup][sub]t[/sub]
Jim
Sounds (heh!) like they put an overly high-lift cam in the engine - they open the valves more than stock to yield more power (Aruh! More power! LOUDER!) but at the expense of a crappy idle, and if done wrong, they can severely shorten the life of the engine, or at least spawn much more maintenance work than the stock parts.
And, they annoy the neighbors.
Old school buses converted to a family campers. The windows all have plywood in them to give privacy.
Sombody I worked with had a 2 by 12 plank for a front bumper. I was tempted to screw in cup hooks and hang all the extra office coffee mugs on it.
Teenagers with 20, one inch downy facial hairs trying to grow a beard.
School teachers that dress like they are teaching in a one room school house, eighty years ago. I’d swear any school of a large size has one of these women.
People that have faded ribbon stickers on their almost new cars. They can’t remove them because it’s on the side of the door and the paint won’t match.
Better yet. The persons that bought thoose window clamping American flags like on the old Nazi staff cars. They were bad enough when you first put them on. Two years later the flags are faded, ripped, and in on case missing, with the pole still on the window.
A manager of a store that had the sales check list still attached on the rear window two years later. How lazy do you have to be to not take a large sheet of paper off your back window?
A guy in an expensive suit, obviously only familiar with the world of executive lounges/first class/private jets, trying to board a Ryanair***** flight. He stood near the gate, obviously his normal routine for priority boarding, and became completely bewildered by the hoards of plebs who marched straight past him to get the seats of their choice. He ended up as the last one to board, looking like a lost child as he walked down the aisle to the back row.
***** - for any non-Europeans, an airline which has taken the low-cost no-frills principle to the extreme
As soon as I saw that, this guy came to mind.
Thanks for sharing the picture, Charger!
:smack: I didn’t even notice those wheels, I was looking for a good shot of the body.
You are 100% correct those wheels are hideous.
I posted this before, but I love the story.
To understand it, however, you must understand what I mean by “rapper hands.” Do this: Put your hands in front of your chest, palms towards chest, fingers pointed down. Keep your elbows out away from your body. Spread your fingers slighly, then curl your ring fingers in a little bit. Got it? Now say “Yo yo yo bitch, I’ll fuck you up!” and emphasize all of the strong syllables with a slight downward thrust of your hands. Extra finger bling helps.
That’s rapper hands.
So anyway, while on vacation a few years ago, my girlfriend and I decided to wrap up our day with some ice cream. We say at a table, licking our cones, and I contemplated the crowd still in line. There was a family of four, who were quite possibly the whitest and middlest class and suburbanest white picket fencers you could imagine. “Pack the kids into the minivan 'cause we’re going to Friendly’s” level of white. Except the teenage son. He looked like a rapper-wannabe, except all of his bling came from The Gap.
So as they waited for ice cream, I saw the mother ask the son a question, but I couldn’t hear it. The son got this tough “I’m gonna git you, sucka” look on his face. Emphasizing his words with rapper hands, he told that white bitch, “Yo, mint chocolate chip.”
Lots of church billboards come to mind:
NO JESUS- NO PEACE/KNOW JESUS- KNOW PEACE
JESUS IS YOUR SOUL REASON FOR LIVING
A LIFE WITHOUT JESUS IS LIKE A SWIMMER WITHOUT WATER
The last one was I think when they just had to put something up and had read as much as they could from the free preview section of “Hack Billboard Sayings For Dummies” on Amazon.com.
The fact that I’m currently dressed up like Captain Hook (absolutely true) to remind college students to study for their finals (long story- an English prof is dressed as Snow White and a language prof is the Fairy Godmother) is also pretty lame.
Reminds me of Herbert Kornfeld.
Since folks are mentioning wood bumpers, what about this? My friend got her Tacoma through FANNIE-CLAC and so it was a base model that comes without a rear bumper. Her boyfriend at the time fashioned her one out of a 4x4, shaped just like a metal one would be. Sanded, polyurethaned. Is that not so lame?
It might go with one of those old Woodies, but I think there’s a reason they don’t make them anymore.
http://www.oldwoodies.com/
This wasn’t lame so much at it was bizare and several of these posts reminded me of it. The setting is the WalMart in Jacksonville, Texas. For those of you who haven’t experienced this, this is one of those places where, if a lady has her own teeth (natural or store-bought) and doesn’t have to go down to the feed store to weigh herself and is wearing clothes that have been washed at least once, she don’t look half bad.
One day, as I pull into a parking space, a shiny, nearly new Bentley, dark green and immaculate, pulls in to a space near me. Out of the car steps a perfectly-groomed, knockout brunette in her mid '30s. She had the look of a well cared for lady. She was wearing a white fur jacket, for which the weather was not quite cool enough. She was wearing some sort of expensive looking designer jeans which she filled rather admirably. She could not have looked more out of place if she had been naked.
I will probably wonder until I die what that woman in that car was doing in that parking lot.
Not long ago, I came across a television program that featured the pathetic Sally Kirkland still strutting her stuff, grimacing like Gloria Swanson in Sunset Boulevard and waggling her gazongas as if she’s Anna Nicole Smith risen from the grave. I’m four years younger than this woman, and I wouldn’t have worn some of her crack-whore-goes-to-Frederick’s-of-Hollywood outfits when I was half my age. Seriously lame.
The manager decided he was going to quit, and ordered a high-priced escort on the company dime as a final “fuck you?”
I recently saw an episode of Dirty Jobs on the Discovery Channel where the host had to work in a dog grooming shop. The censors blurred the genitals of the dogs! WTF?!
This seriously has me in tears. I actually followed your instructions with my hands and snorted loudly (I’m at work) when I looked down. Yes, that is a perfect description of rapper hands.
Yo! Mint chocolate chip beaotch! HAHAHAHA!
That could encompass much of human history, but the 2001 and 2005 presidential elections come to mind.