Whats the 1st things to do after you find out a family member has passed away?

I found out last week that my dad has passed, but 6 years ago. I found a picture of his gravestone on graves.com (which was just recently posted). His gravestone is still a temporary marker (after 6 years). This is in Texas… I’m in MN. They will not give me and death records over the phone/fax/email… I have to be there in person to get them. SO… I have made arrangements to go down the middle of July! I know I have to make gravestone delivery arrangements and such, but anything else I need/should do? Where did all of his belongings go? As far as I know he has a g/f because she was in the obit… But no one else. I cant find her anywhere… Any ideas, suggestions?

Thank you!

After six years why do you think you need to do anything at all?

The funeral home is probably mentioned in the obituary. Did you contact them? They probably have contact information and can arrange a gravestone.

You should be able to get a death certificate by mail from the county where he died. It usually costs about $5 per copy.

My condolences.

Are there other people in the family that may not know?

After six years, it’s unlikely there are any loose ends that you can tie up. Any personal belongings are probably lost. But if you know where he was residing when he died, you could check. They might also be able to help you with information about the girlfriend.

If you don’t know his residence, you might have to work backwards from reports of his death. If he died in a hospital, they should have a record of his residence. If he was found dead at his home, the police would have a record. You could also ask at the county records office and see if they have any information.

As for a marker, contact a local funeral home and they can advise you on how to arrange for one even if they did not conduct the original service.

I’m sorry that you found out that way. You have my sympathy, but I also wonder why you feel like you need to do anything. Everything has been taken care of already.

As to the grave marker, I happen to know that you don’t need to be in the same state as the grave to pay for that. Death is big business in the USA, it should be very easy to pay someone to deal with that for you.

I wonder if the confusion happened because the people you called assumed that you wanted to watch them set the marker. There is a LOT of back story here that we don’t know.