I’m gonna go and on a limb and say that the “anti-misogyny policy” is “don’t post misogynist things” and “if you do post misogynist things, you’ll get warned”. Seems plain.
Yes there’s a ban on hate speech. No, there is not a ban on racist discussion of race and IQ, nor is there a ban on supporters of racism.
Probably uglier, as the mods don’t care so much about the bottom line. More liking to social mores, I’d guess. Numbers matter.
That said, racists have a higher chance of being banned than misogynists, mainly because of the general lack of self-control by racists and the diffuse nature of misogyny. By diffuse, I mean notwithstanding MRAs, most misogynists don’t join KKK style operations.
Really a good question. I suspect that misogyny in practice isn’t banned here or rather it is certain behaviors that are banned. Similar to the way that hate speech is banned here but not being a hater with self control.
So why is “Certainly puts a smile on my face when I log in. If she can’t cure ED no one can.” a misogynist thing but “Has it been that long since I got laid, or is it okay to find her moderately attractive with the cliche’ chauvinistic term of “I wouldn’t kick her out of bed”?” not? Or, to pull some other examples from the Conway thread:
Is “got my motor running every time I saw her” really better / less-offensive in some significant way than “If she can’t cure ED no one can”?
That thread is pretty disgusting. Have you reported it?
No. My interest in starting this thread is to understand what this new anti-misogyny policy prohibits and does not prohibit. I’m not particularly interested in getting other posters warned for comments in a thread in which I was not a participant.
Then why do you care about it so much? Seeing as 99% of posters seem to be able to negotiate the mores and customs of the SDMB without crossing any ‘lines’, what is your personal interest in asking for a formal ruling on this or any other issue?
See, most folks just get it. For some reason, you seem to be particularly immune to understanding stuff unless it’s spelled out for you in large type and without a hint of ambiguity.
:dubious:
Now you are aware. And you should avoid it not just on the SDMB but everywhere because at best it’s seen as condescending - what are you going to do next, pat them on the head and say “there, there”?. Seriously, is there a reason you can’t just say “women” or “ladies”?
You are not going to get an exhaustive list of every word in the English language indicating which are offensive and which aren’t because it’s not just the words themselves but how they’re put together.
Probably not in most contexts.
Look, I get that you’re puzzled by the fact that what you’ve spent your whole life thinking is OK phrasing and language is not as acceptable as it used to be. Society has changed over time and one of the problems of getting older is having to adjust and adjust again. The terms you’re stumbling over didn’t suddenly become offensive or belittling last Tuesday, they’ve been that for a long, long time. It’s no longer acceptable to divide the front and the back of the bus by skin color, and it’s no longer acceptable to treat women as either a lesser species or as self-propelled sex objects and nothing else. Adult women should be treated with the same respect as adult men, not reduced to secondary sexual characteristics or fashion choices.
The following is strictly my opinion, but here goes:
“I’m a sucker for blondes” describes the speaker’s preferences without implying that anyone else’s preferences are inferior.
“That blonde is a sucker” implies that blondes are of lesser quality (that is, they’re “suckers”) than people with other hair colors. That’s a broad judgement based solely on appearances which is pretty much a definition of bigotry.
No word in those sentences is offensive, it’s they way they’re put together.
For another example:
“I don’t like that woman’s politics or personality but for some reason I find her personally attractive. Maybe it’s because I’m a sucker for blondes.”
vs.
“Man, I hate her politics but her blonde hair makes my dick stand up and yell BOOYAH!”
Again, the former is making it clear that the speaker is discussing his personal reaction (presumably we’re talking about a he) but is doing so in a way that makes it clear that whatever he’s feeling comes from within himself. The second one, aside from being the verbal equivalent of an unsolicited dick pick (because, really, most of us don’t want to hear about what a guy’s penis is doing at the moment), implies that she is the one generating those feelings - her “blonde hair” is “making” the observer do something. It’s the notion that men are somehow helpless, that women are somehow forcing them to get erections merely by existing in the world and it’s the women’s fault that the dick of a man she has never actually met is now standing at attention, it’s all her fault he now has a tentpole in his underwear, the fault of her and her blonde hair, her and her blond hair forced an erection on him deliberately, the shameless hussy! :rolleyes: A man’s sexual desires are not foisted upon him by women (or whatever else he might prefer), they come from inside his own head. The man is responsible for his own sexual feelings, no one else is. Language that implies otherwise is offensive.
Again, just my opinion, I’m not a moderator and I’m not trying to be one.
He’s our resident squeaky wheel. He wants every rule explicitly stated and defined, so he can skate right up to that line without crossing it. However, anyone who has a viewpoint that disagrees with his will find him calling “foul” before they go as far as he does.
For lack of a better analogy, he’s a quarterback trying to draw the other team offsides.
Frankly, I find both offensive for the reason in my prior post - the implication that the man is helpless and it’s an external person who is somehow forcing those feelings on him - but yes, the ED comment is more offensive because, again, no one here really wants to know what some guy’s dick is doing at the moment.
This is how they come across to me:
“Got my motor running” = “I have sexual feelings about this situation”
“Cures ED” = “Look at my dick, it’s amazing!”
Again, no one here wants to know what some guy’s dick looks like, is doing, or to get know Random Internet Guy’s dick better.
No, you just want a bright line definition instead of a guiding principle so that certain posters can see how close they can tiptoe to that line so they can say “But I wasn’t touching!”. Fortunately, most posters are happy with an overarching “Let’s try knocking it off with the comments that make women members not want to be here”.
I can heartily agree with this, although I don’t see that “If she can’t cure ED no one can” really tells us anything at all about “Random Internet Guy’s” dick. It certainly seems a far cry from “Look at my dick, it’s amazing!” I didn’t take it that aceplace57 was claiming to have ED, or an erection at that particular moment, or that anyone should look at his dick at all.
A number of posters seem fine with the Conway thread, even though it was full of shit that I have no difficulty imaging would “make women members not want to be here”:
I really don’t get the problem. Because I post here in ‘good faith’, insofar as I post stuff that is real to me and respond in ways that are real to me, I assume that other posters are doing the same.
And for the most part they ARE doing exactly the same as me. We don’t always agree on stuff, but we are being authentic in our postings.
But there are some posters, including the OP of this thread, who seem to be here for a different reason. HD doesn’t have actual opinions, nor does he respond to others’ posts except to nitpick about rules and regulations. There is no persona behind the HD screen-name except an anal-retentive rule-book.
HD, the SDMB is more than a bunch of rules and murder of moderators. It’s grown to a sorta-community…sometimes we bitch and moan about each other, sometimes we help sort through our all-too-human issues that confront us.
This messageboard isn’t moderated by bots working off algorithms. It’s people, real actual people. Is that such a hard concept to digest?
Yeah, I get that you don’t get it. It’s not about you and your reaction, it’s about what other people perceive.
I told you, it’s my opinion. That’s how it comes across to me. The problem(s) your having are because other people are perceiving a post or situation differently than you. Please try to grok that other people really do have a different perception than you. Telling me it’s not that bad because you don’t see it the same way I do is getting awful close to disregarding my perception of the world and my feelings. It’s fine to say you don’t agree with my opinion, it’s wrong to say my opinion doesn’t exist because it’s not the same as yours.
As for the Conway thread - I don’t know if I’d be OK with it or not, but the title alone was off-putting enough that I didn’t want to open it. Look, if there’s a bunch of guys here who really, really want/need to talk about what they’re dicks are doing when they look at somebody I’m OK with them doing that IF they make it pretty clear from the title/OP that that is what thread is about (note: again, that is what I think, not what other people think or what the moderators think) so if I’m not interested I’ll just pass it by. What I do object to is guys dragging their dicks or their misogyny or other objectionable bigotry into a thread where that is NOT the topic or purpose. Basically, don’t inflict it on anyone else. Only send dick pics to people who have already asked to see a picture of your dick.
I didn’t say anything like that. You shared your opinion on it, and I shared mine.
Didn’t aceplace57’s title (“Who’s the cute model that hangs out at the SDMB?”) reasonably inform potential readers that it was going to be one of the more drool-slobbery threads?
Why do we need drool-slobbery threads at all…unless of course it’s in relation to ill-fitting dentures. 
C’mon HD…why the angst? :dubious:
Mid Hat On
Please do not ascribe insulting motivations to the OPs participation on the Dope in this thread and forum.
Damn, and I thought I’d skidded on the right side of the line. I MISSED. 
Warning taken under advisement.
My policy:
“Don’t post anything here that you wouldn’t be comfortable saying face-to-face.”
It’s really pretty simple.
It wasn’t a warning, just a suggestion of the middling sort. 