And I do mean, “insignificant.” No bragging about rushing into a burning house to rescue a dozen puppies, or building your own reusable orbital vehicle in your garage on the weekends. I mean things that made you feel disproportionately cool relative to how meaningful the event was.
For me, it was a couple of weeks ago at a food festival. We were standing around with our pre-dinner drinks, chatting with a couple we’d just met and with whom we were getting along fabulously. One of us noticed, and pointed out, a cockroach (excuse me…“Palmetto Bug”) on the floor. Not that big a deal, really - this is South Florida, and it was an outdoor venue. So that was it really. Nobody freaked or was disgusted or anything like that. We just noted its presence and moved on with the conversation.
Until the wee beastie scurried in my direction, at which point I lifted the front part of my foot and brought it down squarely on the intruding insect. I hadn’t even lifted my heel off the floor. I hadn’t moved from where I was standing to intercept the bug; I hadn’t said, “watch this;” I hadn’t preceded the death blow with anything at all. It all happened incredibly quickly, and with no forethought. I just acted on pure instinct.
Everyone paused for a quick minute. The other gentleman asked, “did you get him?” My wife just stared at me with a new-found respect for my cat-like reflexes. We discussed my lightning-quick action for a couple of minutes and decided that, yes, in that instant, I was really, really cool. When it came time to be seated for dinner, I topped it all off by pivoting on that foot and stepping off in such a way as to move the carcass into the soil around the base of an adjacent tree so that nobody would see the remains.
I am not, in general, known for my physical prowess at…well…anything, really. In fact, I’m a bit of a klutz. But for one fleeting, glorious instant I was the vanquisher of vermin. I was the conquerer of cockroaches. I was a man among men.
I returned the pen to the the bank teller instead of stealing it.
I mean really, I already have about a dozen floating around my car.
Maybe next week I’ll be a good Samaritan and return all those. Nah, I doubt it.
I made iron-on logos for my newborn’s clothes with a nifty, little, home cutting machine that I gave my wife as a Christmas present. I plan to have her grow up like Laverne of “Laverne and Shirley” fame.
I stuffed 27 soccer equipment bags (containing balls, cones, pinneys, and other helpful soccer items) into the back of a Dodge Durango. Couldn’t see out the back window at all, but I think it was cool.
We bought some [/0/"]assemble-them-yourself bookshelves](http://www.sauder.com/Products/414602_5_Shelf_Bookcase.aspx#prettyPhoto[pp_gal). When finished, I wanted to put my LPs on the bottom shelf, but the shelves were about 3/8 inch too short for the albums to stand perpendicular. Any reason I can’t drop the shelf by adding some holes? Doesn’t seem to be. I disassemble one unit enough to get the shelf out, then gather my tools, which does NOT include a drill press nor any way to make a jig for replicating holes. I’m going to try measuring each needed hole :eek: . Think, Flintstone, think! My wife pokes her head into the room–when I get quiet working on a project, it means trouble–and I explain what I’m going to try doing, and how I’m going to try doing it, and how I’m getting frustrated because I’m going to futz it up doing it this way, and she saves the day with a single word TEMPLATE! A large index card, a pencil to poke holes in said card, little scissors to clean up the punched holes, and the pins that hold the shelf in place and I’m in business. Several hours later, all the bookshelves are finished and they look fantastic! Thanks to the template, all the lowest shelves on each BS line up perfectly and the LPs fit in like gangbusters! You’d never know they didn’t come from the manufacturer that way.
I did one of those dad-reflex catches. Maybe not quite as amazing as what you see on youtube, but I was pretty happy with myself.
Going into the house is up about two (concrete) steps. As I opened the door, I didn’t know that my toddler-aged daughter was leaning against it. I saw her falling forward with the door and put my hand on her, facemask style, and pushed her back up into the house. Not hard, just got her standing up again.
It snowed last night. Every time it snows or rains hard around here, some Jackopate goes out in the desert to the south of me and gets stuck in a mire of mud.
Such was today. I was making my kid pancakes, and noticed a distant dark mess, moving about on the mud plain.
I loaded up the Big-Ass chain into the Jeep and went to pull them out. Total success.
Gato, you are so nice.
I washed and groomed my tiny little Yorkie today. I usually take her to a groomer, but she’s always freaky for a day or 2 afterwards, so I thought I would do her a solid.
It may have been easy, but that wasn’t insignificant.
Towing and roadside stops 10 feet from a paved public roadway, in most cases. That was a recovery.
Having been a roadside assistance operator, I’ve been quoted up to $400 per hour (port to port) per truck +$100 per man, per hour for digging it out (while the truck waits on the clock).
You my friend may have saved somebody ONE HELL OF A LOT OF MONEY!!!
Kudos.
Yesterday I drove a rescue dog (English setter) on a leg to his new home. Not a big deal - meet the leg before mine, load the dog, drive him 75 miles, then hand him off to the next driver. But it meant a lot to the new owners, and to the owner who, for health reasons, was having to give up her pets.
I took the initiative to try something new: I got some pickled beets, put them in a bowl, and crumbled goat cheese over it. That took, oh, 32 seconds. The goat cheese combined with the beet juice to make a creamy, borscht-y sauce.
This is a tasty insignificant thing…as long as it doesn’t drip onto my t-shirt.
Someone was collecting books for a food pantry shelf, so kids can pick out a book when they are there. Got rid of at least 100 books. Minor, but made me feel good. Now on to sorting out these other books …
We met two other couples at a bar for drinks and dinner and more drinks. The place as packed, and one of the bartenders had called off. When we finished eating I bussed our table. Some guy noticed and realized what/why I was up to and bussed his own table as well.
Killing insects (or any creatures except mosquitoes and venomous snakes) is not something we do here in the Land of Smiles — or at least don’t let Mrs. Septimus see you do it!
A chameleon got trapped inside our house a week or two ago, and we saw him now and then, presumably trying to find the way out. (We have lots of lizards residing in our house — without paying rent — but they’re gekkos. Chameleons are in an altogether different Suborder.) Two days ago, the chameleon even ended up trapped in our toilet. (* - The downstairs toilet, not the upstairs toilet I mentioned moments ago in the Stupid Liberal Ideas thread!)
Anyway, I successfully escorted the chameleon outside where he happily scampered off. My wife said she was proud of me.
This reminded me of a visitor we had several years ago who showed us how to hypnotize chameleons by gently rubbing their head with a feather or leaf. She could get them motionless while she caressed them with her hands. I thought this was cute … until she explained that she could sell live chameleons for 15¢ each back in her home village in Northeastern Thailand. :eek:
I live in a two-family house, and the other person living in it just turned 91. I always put out and return the garbage cans on collection days, and bring in and leave her mail at her door.
