What's the deal with women only gyms?

In My Humble Opinion
1

Not really GD worthy, just something I’m curious about. There are about half a dozen gyms round my area and two of them are women only. As in I wouldn’t be allowed to join because I’m a man, period.

It’s not exactly keeping me awake at night, but it does seem a little unfair. I get that guys are more likely to objectify and hit on women in the gym, but women objectify and hit on guys too, just not as often. But if a man wanted to open a male only gym for guys who might be bothered by that, I would imagine the general consensus would be that it would be considered discriminatory. It just seems like kind of a double standard. What do you think?

2

Not getting stared at by guys.

3

The short answer is that it’s not just that men at gyms “objectify and hit on” women; it’s that they “sexual harass and grope” women. Which women do to men with a frequency bordering on negligible.

That’s what the deal is.

4

Eons ago, I went to a women-only gym because it was convenient and quite reasonable in price. I felt like the people there were using it as a gym, not a meat market. The excessively pink decor was a bit much, but overall, it was a comfortable place.

I’ve also belonged to mixed gyms, but I wasn’t there looking for love, so I didn’t much care if anyone was looking at me. I did what I wanted to do, then left. But I do recall a certain amount of macho posturing/grunting/guy stuff that was somewhat annoying, since I’m pretty sure it was all over-the-top acting.

Personally, I wouldn’t care if someone opened a men-only gym. Then again, I’m not inclined to take such a thing as a personal slight, so I may not be the best person to ask.

5

A lot of women are self-conscious about wearing comfortable exercise clothes and then showing off their body, whether that’s the intent or not. A place where there won’t be men ogling them - in fact or in imagination, attractively or creepily, mostly at all - has its pluses.

I dated a very attractive woman (swimsuit/lingerie model) for a couple of years, and it drove her crazy how perfectly “nice” men in the club would openly stare (often right at her crotch) as she did leg exercises and such.

ETA: What was weirder, and has nothing to do with a mixed/single gym, was that women in the locker room would notice her under-breast scars (reconstruction from childhood fibrosis, not entirely model-cosmetic) and often touch and poke her breasts more casually than men shake hands. She was not body-shy but took to using the curtained stalls to dress.

6

That would creep me the hell out and cause a freakout if strangers assumed it was ok to grab and touch me, I don’t care what the situation.

As for the OP its a private business and there are plenty of alternatives.

7

In addition to what has already been said, I’m also guessing that some women prefer all-women gyms because there is less competitive pressure to perform in those environments. No one is going to laugh if you “throw like a girl” or “run like a girl” or “lift weights like a girl” when everyone is a girl.

You also don’t have to worry about any guys assuming you need help with something that you’re perfectly capable of handling on your own. Every piece of equipment has a learning curve associated with it. But everyone can figure it out if they tinker with it long enough. But often guys see a women tinkering with something and think it’s their responsibility to help them out. Having to politely decline unsolicited advice can get old after awhile.

An all-women gym may also relax some of the pressue a woman may feel to maintain her looks all the time. Maybe you don’t always feel like shaving your legs or pits or having well-coiffed hair. Some women feel more comfortable letting their hair down in front of other women than they do with men, especially if they are trying to acquire one.

8

I must live in a city of saints, because I’ve gone to a number of gyms for many years, and have never seen anything that looked like sexual harassment of women, let alone groping.

Which is not to say I don’t understand the appeal of female gyms, but the implication that coed gyms are teeming with catcalling rapey frotteurs seem a tad overblown.

9

Actually, there are men only gyms. Here is an example.

10

All of them? No. Some of them? Yes.

11

I belong to a women only gym – I joined because it was cheap and near by house, and there is also a location in downtown Chicago that I can use for no extra fee. So basically I pay PlanetFitness rates in downtown Chicago.

I have often wondered if women’s gyms are just cheaper to run, so they attract woman customers by being the best deal in town for them. Some possible reasons they have lower costs (that you may or may not agree with, these are just guesses): Women cause less wear and tear on the equipment. Women are less gadget-y so they don’t care if they exercise equipment is out of date, ie, okay if it doesn’t have “in-seat” entertainment or the coolest tracking display. Women are less likely to shower at the gym - easier to wash your hair at home - so fewer showers per customer, less need for towel service. Women are more into classes, so some subset of your customer base will show up for yoga or zumba and then leave, and not touch any equipment other than the locker. Some classes (like zumba) don’t need any equipment at all. For yoga all you need is a stack of mats.

Anyhow, like I said these are just guesses. I’m sure there are many customers who are happier in the women-only environment, especially for small-group training which my gym offers. But if you were to ask why they joined, I bet most woman would say because it’s cheap.

12

I managed a women-only gym. Some of it was grounded in the (now outdated) way a lot of gyms used to only stock heavier plates and weights. Women’s only places usually have weights at lower numbers and at smaller increments. Some women, like it or not, feel self-conscious about working out around men, and may avoid even going into the weight-lifting area if it’s surrounded by guys.

Also, there are a few religions and cultures that does not allow women the freedom to dress comfortably and workout if there are men in the same area.

Finally, it’s less expensive for the gym. They only have to operate one locker/shower area, and most stay at home parents are still women, so they can focus on programming during the day.

13

Embarrassment. A lot of overweight women find it embarrassing to go to a gym. You feel like every man in the place is starting at you and thinking “what’s that big tub of lard doing here?” And if you’re older? Makes it even worse. Take it from one who knows. I did the fancy purple palace women only gym for a few months. Now I use the gym at the university where I work. I’m pretty comfortable now, but it takes some doing to get over that awful self consciousness.

14

What? Surely if you feel that way it is in front of men and women alike.

The truth is that at serious gyms nobody cares what you look like, you’re all there for the same reason. Perhaps it’s different at “social gyms” where everyone is there to judge everyone else. But once again I can’t imagine men are more judgmental of fat women than women are (I am a woman, I go to a gym, and I am hideously fat, FWIW)

15

I need to find a dudes only gym. Frankly it’s disheartening to watch a tiny little 105lb woman out lift me.

16

I went to a coed gym that I really liked, but when I had problems with other patrons, it was always with male patrons.

There was all manner of inappropriate behavior by men. Some were oglers. Some were exhibitionists–there was one guy who would wear shorts so loose that they would fall down off his butt when he did stretches…always in front of a row of women on exercise machines. Another guy would wear tight, short white shorts with no underwear and do stretches in front of the whole room, showing off his goodies for an hour or so. Then there were the young guys who would loudly and crudely discuss the various attributes of the women in the gym.

Men sometimes made it really difficult to use the weight machines. They would come into that room in groups, get loud and crude with their conversations, and hassle me to “hurry up” and finish using the machines, even though I was not loitering.

I had men walk past me when I was working out on the cardio machines and make rude comments about my workout. One guy laughed at me because I was sweating so much.

In the swimming pool, the men would refuse to lane-share with other men. (OMG they might catch teh gay!!!) Instead, they would insist on sharing lanes with women, even if those women were swimming at a much slower pace. They would not share nicely, either, but would hog the lane, or pass me without caution, hitting me with their arms and legs. The swimming pool was used mostly by much older women who were there to do water aerobics (which was allowed in the far right lane all day long). Men would come in and tell those women they “had to get out of the pool” so they could swim laps (totally not true). I found out that the evening water aerobics classes were sparsely attended because men would sit at the side of the pool and loudly complain about the lanes being taken up and comment about the physiques of the women participating.

I actually had trouble with a male trainer, too. I met with him to ask questions about a class he was teaching, to find out if it was right for me. He asked what I was looking for. I specifically told him that I did not like running, especially not outside. I had a knee injury that can’t take the impact, and outdoor exercise is more likely to trigger my asthma. He told me to come to the class for a free session and that he thought I would really like it. The very first thing he did in the class was take everyone for a long run outdoors. I quit right then and there. He called me up later to find out why I’d left. I told him, and he “mansplained” to me that I was wrong about not wanting to run outside and that he knew better, that I really needed to do it. Sorry, no. The female trainers always listened to what I wanted and gave good advice about exercises.

There is no female-only gym here in my town, but I desperately wish there was one. They exist because a significant proportion of the male population behaves badly at co-ed gyms.

17

Thank Og sexual harassment and groping aren’t universal, but after living for a half century in five states and four major urban areas, as well as more out in the boonies, it’s my experience that it very much exists and no place is entirely immune to it. I can certainly see the appeal of having a place where it’s unlikely to to happen (because women are capable of sexually harassing other women, it’s just a LOT more rare than men harassing women*).

I’ve also used gyms from time to time (not really big on them, but I have tried them out or used them when access is convenient). The whole issue of men “helping” out the little women can be a problem. Sometimes it’s well intentioned, thinking the woman does need help whether she actually does or not, but sometimes it’s a pretext for speaking the women prior to asking her out, hitting on her, or worse. So, sorry, decent guys but if the woman you’re addressing has a slightly scared-rabbit look about her it’s probably not you, it’s some asshole who gave her crap prior to you showing up.

When I’m working out I really don’t want to be bothered by other people, male or female.

I don’t have an issue with mixed gyms, but I can see where some women might. I also wonder if some of those women-only gyms might have equipment sized for smaller people - uncomfortable grips can make something like freeweights harder to use.

  • I once had to deal with a lesbian who was convinced I was really a lesbian as well, or at least bisexual, never mind my history of dating only men and being married to a man. I just “hadn’t met the right woman yet”. :rolleyes: She told that to my husband. No, she wasn’t joking. She also proposed a threesome at one point (I don’t do those, either). I hasten to point out that was the sole experience of being harassed by a woman I have experienced, but episodes of harassment by men have been too numerous to track.
18

One problem I often have with gyms is that the chirpy receptionists try to sell me aerobics.

I ask about the machines. “Wouldn’t you rather try our aerobics class?” No thank you, and again where is the machines room?

I ask about hiring a trainer for free weights. “We have this wonderful power-boost class, you’ll love it! It’s just like aerobics!” Count to ten. Count to twenty.

I ask if the martial arts offered include tai-chi. “Would you like to try our hopping-power classes?” My kingdom for a claymore - either kind!

I have coordination issues. I have laterality problems. I have developed a goddamn mental allergy to counting to eight. Sell me what I am trying to buy damnit!

I expect that a women’s-only gym offering martial arts or weight training will expect female gym members to take those offers.

19

This ain’t true. “No one cares…” is NEVER true. There’s always someone who is noticing and judging, even in “serious” gyms. Why? Because there is no mental detector that you must walk through when you enter the building. No one knows what other people are thinking, so believing “no one cares” is just a feel-good delusion.

Rather than clutching to a delusion when I’m feeling self-conscious, I just tell myself that no one more important than me cares what I look like or how klutzy I am. There is no one who is more important than me, so this can never be a wrong statement.

Spending just a few minutes on your typical message board should correct any misconceptions about how much people notice who is walking 2 MPH on the treadmill, lifting weights the “wrong” way, or cramming a fat body in tight clothes. Of course people will notice you if you stick out in a certain way. But other people’s thoughts can’t hurt you.

This is what four years of group exercise has taught me. It is one of the most valuable life lessons a person can learn.

20

Can I steal that for a poster?