My daughter gets annoyed because at the gym she goes to, there are always men and boys who seem to hog the machines she wants. They stand in a group, A couple use the machines while the others stand around and talk, then they switch, then they switch back, and so on. They’re in no hurry to finish, and they never move on. Women seem to use the machines and then move.
The gym has a woman only area, but the area doesn’t have the machines she’d like to use.
When I flex my huge pecs and biceps, and pass my hand over my every-hair-in-place head, any women who can resist me must be a lesbian, you know. I am ALL PUMPED UP!!!
I’ve heard of them. The North American Man/Boy Lifting Association.
Sounds interesting. Can you link to their website?
It’s not a double standard, because the situations are not the same. Women are much more likely to be ogled and harassed by men in a gym than the reverse.
Men and women are not identical.
And when this doesn’t happen, you will spend the rest of the day wondering if you over-reacted and worrying what will happen the next time you go to the gym.
Certainly people perform better in places they feel at ease, I should think. When you change into more revealing clothing and step out into public it’s hard not to feel a little exposed, perhaps a little vulnerable.
Victims of sexual assault move forward with their lives but trauma leaves deep scars. That feeling of exposure can keep such women from ever feeling comfortable at a unisex gym.
Now, do the math. An enormous number of women WILL be sexually assaulted during their life. That they don’t let it define them, haven’t shared with you, does not change the numbers.
Please, tell me again why it bothers men?
I honestly don’t recall ever witnessing anyone of any gender hitting on or groping anyone at a gym… maybe some light PDA from an existing couple.
I, a man, have been groped by women at several other places- work, restaurants, stores, etc.
Oh, wow! Hey gals, c’mere! Finally we have a man here to explain to us how simple it is to deal with harassment from men. After all, as a man, he is immediately The Expert on women’s experiences, unlike us dumb broads. What do we have? A lifetime of experience? Oh sure, like that counts for anything!
I know I’m also grateful for all of the men saying they haven’t seen any of this, so they really doubt it happens, especially when multiple women think they can just saunter in here and say that it does happen and give personal testimonies of their experiences.
I wonder if JVDaly has had his OP answered.
I’ve already got several stories where I was being threatened or assaulted in public, in full view of bystanders, and no one did a thing – not even so much as a phone call to police or a “you okay?” afterwards. Including transit employees where it’s sort of their JOB to look after the safety of transit properties.
So no, don’t anyone go thinking that bystanders will come and help, no matter how loud you are.
Anyone remember that clip of Sean Hannity explaining that what black people need to do if they’re stopped by the police and have a gun in the car is to get out of the car and show the weapon to the police, and everything will be fine?
Because this reads at that level of cluelessness.
Then what did you actually do? Nothing? Accept being groped? Inform the manager? Leave the gym? Tell your friends not to go to that gym? Tell the internet not to go to that gym? Call the police? Have the groper arrested? Testify at his trial?
Do you seriously not understand that if you do nothing at the time of the assault, people are less likely to believe your story later?
I’ve never groped women at a gym (or at any other location). I have three daughters and a wife. Telling me I shouldn’t grope women is preaching to the choir. Telling me that I shouldn’t step up when I see someone harassing a women is a waste of your time.
Are strawmen groping you at the health club? Is Sean Hannity harassing you at the gym??? You should ask Chris Matthews to speak to Hannity on you behalf. :smack:
Fortunately, I don’t know anything about you personally. Is there any possibility that you’re just not very likable, or that people don’t actually care what happens to you? Can you think of any reason why a stranger would risk life, or limb, for your defense?
When these incidents occur, do you called the police? Did you report these incidents to the local transit authority? Have you considered carrying, and using, pepper spray? Taking a self-defense class? Commuting with friends?
Do you seriously not understand that people won’t believe you regardless? And that a lot of times, it’s not worth dealing with the shame, embarrassment, and stress of a formal complaint?
It’s a lot easier just to say “fuck it” and find the nearest Curves and leave the crime-fighting to someone else.
Why should YOU feel embarrassed when you’ve done nothing wrong?
And yet, YOU feel embarrassed. The question you need to answer is why you feel embarrassed.
(Underline added)
Won’t believe me??? Have you read some of the reactions to my posts? :D:D:D
Do you think they bother me? Do I say “fuck it”, tuck tail and run? FYI, I haven’t given “them” my consent to make me feel inferior. 
On a more serious note:
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
-Eleanor Roosevelt
You must do the things you think you cannot do.
-Eleanor Roosevelt
I once had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalogue: no good in a bed, but fine up against a wall.
-Eleanor Roosevelt (It sounds like Eleanor wasn’t as stuffy as most people believe.)
So if someone stroked your arm, saying great biceps, and lingered on your arm, then moved in a bit closer so you could feel their breath, you’d scream?
Because that’s the kind of inappropriate touching that’s the most likely to happen at mixed gyms. And I bet you’d hate it if a man did that to you. But if you scream like you said at such a touch then you are going to get branded unreasonable, and the man will say he was just commenting on your biceps like he would with anyone.
You can avoid it by making sure you turn in a way that never lets anyone get that close, but why would you want to be that watchful when you’re there to have fun? Sometimes it means having to leave your equipment sooner than otherwise.
I used to use the free weights room at a particular gym when a particular man was in there. He was A-OK, chatted, treated me like any other person, except for asking a worker to bring in smaller weights because all the weights there were enormous and really, I weighed about 110bs and was female and he did ask me first. My turn on the weights, his turn. He’d give advice but that was fine because he did know more than me. He was also built like Arnie and had a glare that could kill. Safe space even with other men there.
When he wasn’t there suddenly I couldn’t use the weights because my turn never came. And there was lots of boy talk and staring. The small weights vanished, put away somewhere. It basically became a boys’ room where I was not welcome at all.
Female-only gyms don’t needed a capable crusader like the bloke I used to know.
Because of societal attitudes that don’t take harassment of women seriously and then pick apart all the “wrong” things women did to “bring on” that harassment or how they responded was wrong. And that assume women don’t know what they’re talking about and that they can’t actually know more about this subject than Random Man, so they need to listen to clueless advice that’s something they’ve heard 100000000x before at best and is dangerous at worst.
Not that you’d be familiar with those attitudes or anything.