I find this to be a facinating question because my sister had all sorts of problems over the past year, including a stint in inpatient rehab and a stint in outpatient rehab. According to her (and health laws keep us from knowing if this is the truth or bullshit) she hasn’t been diagnosed as alcoholic. She had a lot of other issues going on (partner abuse and a very stressful job) and was self-medicating. I suspect that IF this is actually the case, she didn’t cross the line into physical dependance. I also suspect that IF this was the diagnosis, she lied on her intake forms when they asked if she’d ever blacked out (she has). Or if she’d gets the shakes when she doesn’t drink (I’ve seen them, but she can still hide it well). And during family week at rehab I noticed that she was certainly not the worst off - she was downright functional for inpatient rehab, I suspect you get a little jaded in that business.
Anyway, she seems to be doing better now (got rid of the boyfriend, switch jobs - although the alcohol made that a less than voluntary situation), but we are in don’t ask mode and she lives far away. I suspect she continues to drink, but may have been able to turn herself into non-problem drinker (perhaps still heavy, perhaps not). What I really hope is that she stays on the medication prescribed for her so she isn’t tempted to fix her anxiety via a Merlot. So she may not have flipped whatever switch puts you into “single drink means face down in a ditch” territory.
Well for many alcoholics the phenomenon of single-drink-face-down-in-ditch doesn’t happen. It is a progressive cunning illness that can take many weeks or months to get back to where we were before we quit. Then again there are those who slip and end up coming back to sobriety years down the road.
It is also my experience that most people who have that little voice in the back of their brain telling them they are a problem drinker do not have the capability to turn it on and off like a switch. Boy wouldn’t that be great if we could?
Not an easy question is it? My dad was an alcoholic. A “real” alcoholic as he used to say. Claimed he was born that way. He started in AA in 1973 had one slip in '80 and was sober ever since. He passed away this summer from brain cancer. He was proud of his sobriety. He used to drink hard too. He drank a half gallon of whiskey evreyday before he finally quit.
I remember when I was a kid, he’d take me riding on the weekend. Every saturday morning we’d be at the liquor store when it opened. He’d buy a couple of bottles of Jim Beam. Usually a fifth or quart and also a pint. He’d slip the pint under the seat for later and proceed to drink the large bottle. You see a good alcoholic ain’t gonna be far away from a fix.
If he went more than a few hours without a shot he’d get the shakes. I remember when he tried to quit drinking before AA. He kept a bottle of Listerine or Nyquil with him everywhere he went.
He’d say an alcoholic was just one drink away from getting drunk. All he had to do was start and he’d get there quick enough.
Some folks have a problem but that don’t make 'em alcoholic. Not yet anyway.
The first step is recognizing that you’ve got a problem. If you think you might have a problem, then you already do. You’re usually the last to know.
I know I probably haven’t said anything y’all hadn’t already covered but the fact is. Alcoholism is a sneaky bitch, it’ll take hold of anyone that’s not careful, young, old, rich, poor, male or female. Never think you’re too smart to be one either. From my experience they’re some of the toughest drunks to convince. Them and preachers.
My experience leads me to agree with sleestak’s suggestions of trying to test by either drinking less in a “session” or quitting for a period of time. If you can without any problems, you’re probably not an alcoholic. I tried, and I couldn’t. With the help of Antabuse (and anti-depressants), I could quit completely.
At the time I just wanted to dry out, and then be a “normal” drinker after 6 months or so. With hindsight, I realised that that wasn’t going to happen - 4 years later and I love being sober. The fact that I go to parties, have a wild time, then get to drive home and sleep in my own bed while others crash on a sofa really is great. Oh, and I’m happy to give people lifts, too.
In the UK there is an anti-drug education campaign aimed mainly at teenagers called Talk to Frank - the idea being that anyone who is tempted by drugs, or peer pressure is making them make dodgy choices, can call “Frank” - a helpline for impartial advice. The TV ads are (I think) very good, and don’t look too “uncool”. There was one a year or so ago with a woman walking around town, checking her purse, going to a cashpoint but having her card refused, scrounging money from the back of the sofa etc - all the while a jolly little tune sang that if this was happening to you, it’s a sign that “drugs are taking over your life”. I realised that that was exactly how I’d been before I quit. Of course, it’s not such a good sign if you’re employed and wealthy - but as a skint student my life was spent trying to find cash for booze and cigarettes.
Oh, as an aside - I’ve heard that quitting smoking is harder than giving up heroin. I’m not sure that I believe that, but I can tell you that for me, compared to going sober, giving up cigarettes was a piece of p*ss.
I don’t think most people like it over here either (or maybe it’s just me?) - I don’t want “solutions” I want products, I’m not your “partner”, I’m your customer! But that’s a pit thread I just don’t feel like starting.
Some may have noticed that I’m not a people-person, and huggy-feely group guilt-fests designed to make me stop doing something have the opposite effect. Got smashed every night after my court ordered drunk-driving class just because it annoyed me so much.
Drinking and smoking both, my hatred of my own weakness is all I needed to get me over them. Self-loathing is a powerful motivator in my case.
Pretty sure I didn’t add anything useful just now…
I’ve been sober and in A.A. for 14 years. Best thing that ever happened to me.
I can’t tell you how great it is to wake up and not hate yourself. My life was an absolute hell, I got divorced, had thoughts of suicide and I was a mess. Since I don’t know people that well here, my life has been amazing since I’ve been sober.
If you think you are, you could be. Go to a meeting and listen and see if any of it sounds familiar. The people that criticize it are usually people that don’t know much about it.
It’s not for everyone, and it doesn’t work for everyone but I’d be dead if I hadn’t found A.A.
Don’t not go because of all the misconseptions you might have heard. The people aren’t losers, it’s not all about religion. I’ve met so many great people, we go out to dinner after meetings, we play golf, the people are great. Seriously, give it a try if your concerned.
I still miss drinking from time to time, but I don’t miss being miserable.