Of course, this question would come from someone in a long-distance relationship, but hopefully, it’ll be an interesting topic regardless of my personal motivations. The question is simple: what is the longest period of time you’ve gone outside of the physical presence of a person you are or were seriously (your definition) romantically involved with.
Clarifications to follow:
1) I am not counting, for the purposes of this poll, someone you’re dating but whom you have never met in person.
2) Long-distance relationships count as long as there was a mutual understanding of the continuity of the relationship during the time apart. In other words, if you two lived across a continent from one another, saw each other in May, broke up over the phone in August, got back together in November and saw each other again in January, I’m not counting that as seven months apart.
3) If you were apart for six months and only then got to see each other for 30 minutes in an airport in Helsinki, that still counts as being in the physical presence of one another. Also, that would make a great story, so if that happened to you, share it!
4) Conjugal visits count (and please refer to the last sentence of #3 above).
If I’ve left off anything you have questions about, please feel free to ask. This is a poll, so even if you post before the poll is up, please come back and respond to the poll portion as well. And by all means, elaborate in your posts as much as you’re willing to.
My Mig went to New Orleans for clean-up work for about a month. Before that we hadn’t been apart for more than 24 hours. Since then we’ve only been apart for a few days.
My ex-wife and I were apart for a month, once. She decided to pursue a study-abroad program and took off for England for that period of time. It was a little odd for us because in the eight or so years we’d been married up to that point, we’d never been apart for more than two or three days. But we talked on the phone almost every day and chatted online and such. It worked out OK.
Currently, in my LD relationship, the most time we’ve spent apart is about six weeks, which is a product of living 2,000 miles apart. On average, we have seen each other about every four- to six-weeks. And we survive as best we can by talking both online and on the phone every day. Not ideal, but it is workable as a temporary solution.
Just a few weeks after I met the man I would eventually marry, he left the country for a three-ish month trip to the UK. I went to visit him near the end of his stay, but it was basically a whole summer without him.
My current SO and I haven’t been apart for a whole 24 hours. The longest was about 13 hours, which, considering it was a round trip by car to a place that normally takes me 8 hours each way, I just *know *he was driving like an idiot, darn it! Still, it was a long 13 hours.
Worked in the offshore oil biz when I married MizPullin. We had about 6 weeks together before I went off to a 4-month contract on the other side of the world. This being “back in the day” before email, etc., we communicated entirely by sending letters. After the contract ended, I was home for awhile, then left for a 5-month stint again. After this, she convinced me to find a new career. Now (28 years later) we’re only apart for a week+ during deer season each year.
Slightly off-topic: I recently found all those letters (over a year’s worth of writing each other 2-3 times per week). It’s unbelievable what a smarmy love-struck kid I was back then. I’m keeping them locked up (and may shred them). I shudder to think of anyone reading my glurge.
My wife and I lived ob opposite coasts when we first got involved. There was lots of meeting in different cities and the like. But we often went 4 months or so without seeing each other in person. Finally she moved out here, we got married, and I still never get to see her! (She’s been back in Boston seeing to her sister for the last 2 weeks.)
My SO travels a lot for his job, usually 3-5 days at a time, but the longest trip was a little over a week. It’s exciting when he leaves for 4 days, comes home for 2, then leaves again for 5.
Was in an LDR before moving in with my now-wife; we went about 3 weeks between visits for a couple months before we said “the hell with it”, rented a U-Haul, and moved me up.
I would really love to hear from whomever said they’d been separated for more than a year, if [del]that person is[/del] those persons are willing to share.
I voted 1-2 weeks. I can’t really be sure, but I’d bet that 10 days was the longest. It would usually be if I went on vacation for a few days, and we normally only saw each other on weekends or whatever.
I was going to say that it was a couple of weeks when one was in the hospital, but come to think of it, I visited her every day.
I haven’t, but I know people who have left their spouses behind in India while they work here. They can be separated for close to a year or longer at times. It doesn’t happen as much these days, as people rarely emigrate anymore without their families, but when I was young I heard of it often.
Hell, I have a story of parents being vountarily separated from their newborn baby for 3-4 years, but it’s not relevant to the thread.
I’m in a LDR and 4 - 6 weeks is really pushing it. But compared to some of you guys, my 3 hr distance is practically not LDR. We had one time where we went about 6 weeks but hated it. When school is in, we go about 3 or 4 weeks at a time but try to keep it at 2 weeks max. Now that we are in the summer, I will spend a week or two at a time with him.
A friend is looking forward to her husband coming home next month; he will have been gone a year in Iraq, if that counts. It has been hard on her, but I assume that’s the case of any military spouse left behind.
Husband’s second helicopter job left us seperated for 3 months - no visiting due to time & money constraints. It was very hard and we are really hoping to never do it again. Right now he’s on a 7-days-on/7-days-off schedule a couple states away, so we are only living together half the time, which also sucks mightily. He either needs a job in a city where I can live & work (he is seriously in the sticks right now - I might be able to find a part-time clerk job there but that would be it) or I need a back-up auxillary husband, and frankly, I don’t have the time to put into training one up.
My husband and I worked for the same company when we met, and the year we got married we applied to work on a temporary project in Australia. They downsized the project team and 6 months after we were married he left for 3 months in Australia. While he was gone I moved (nightmare move), dealt with a raft of issues with the new house and was incredibly happy when his time down under was over.
A year after that we ended up with me on a 6 month assignment in Ottawa and him on a year long assignment in New York. The corporate travel department was my best friend. We would spend 1 weekend a month in each of our project cities and 2 weekends a month home in Toronto. It was fun and challenging at the time but I don’t think I could ever do it again.
Up to a week. After 9 years together, we need our own time every so often. Like next month, I’ll be in St Louis for 5 days with friends. Love him to death but I need my own space with my own crowd for a while.
Hmm. I never lived closer than 600 miles to my wife before we got married. I’m not counting that time. After, she bought an RV and took the kids on a trip around the edges of the country for a book. She started in New Jersey in February, and I flew to San Diego to meet them in April, and the continued to Minnesota in May, and went back in July or so to finish up. This was before ubiquitous cellphone coverage and during the time of high roaming charges. No problems.
I applied this to my current marriage: Never longer than a day. We work together and since we’ve been together, never been anywhere without the other. The longest we’ve literally been apart is an 8-hour workday when one of the other of us is sick.
The first year of our marriage, I was getting my MA in England while she was back working in the States, so I voted for more than a month but less than 3, since she did visit me once each term and I went home for the Christmas break.
Since then, I think the most has been for 2 weeks (on one of her business trips).
Sr. Olives and I have been apart for 2-3 month spans periodically since the beginning of our relationship 8 years ago.
Starting at the beginning of our relationship – the day after we hooked up, he spent three months studying abroad in Spain.
He later spent three months in New Hampshire at a youth camp for behaviorally challenged children.
After I graduated, I spent 2 months in Mexico. We actually missed our one year wedding anniversary due to my travels.
I just spent eleven days away from him due to a solo trip back to Michigan.
We have always tried not to be so joined at the hip that we are afraid to pursue our own interests. I will say that the longer we are together, the harder it is to separate. There was a time I seriously considered Peace Corps which is roughly 2 years apart (with short visits in-between), but there is no way I could do that now. Ever since we’ve moved out-of-state and are rather lacking in the ‘‘close family and friends’’ department, we are more dependent on one another for daily comfort. I would find it very difficult to be away from him for an entire summer.
The question is simple: what is the longest period of time you’ve gone outside of the physical presence of a person you are or were seriously (your definition) romantically involved with.