Not much you could do when you’re a man. Damned if you do, damned if you don’t.
When I was little, 5 or so, I was in a video store. I picked up a cartoon off the shelf that I wanted to get. It looked good so I got excited. I went running over to my dad grabbed his arm, tugged him toward me and jammed the video in his face,
“I WANT THIS ONE DADDY!”
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It wasn’t my dad. :smack:
I still get embarassed just thinking about that.
Well I know its not that bad compared too some of the others but it was pretty bad for me.
Wearia
I did the skirt-in-the-pantyhose thing also… at a wedding reception. I was halfway across the dance floor before a kind soul alerted me. What the heck - I always wear panties under pantyhose, and they were clean and hole-free.
I hate skirts.
When I was thirteen, and in high school, I had to wear bathers to school under my uniform because we had scoliosis check during lunch.
I went to go to the toilet after, but the bell rang as I walked in. Being the total square, I decided I didn’t want to be late for class, so I decided to hold on.
So of course, in the middle of English class, I wet myself. And because I was sitting down, it made a horrible farting noise.
I was so mortified by the experience that I couldn’t even mention it to anyone for about 10 years.
I can laugh about it now…
A bully used to make fun of me on the bus during middle school. One day she was talking shit and I decided to stand up for myself. I just happened to be suffering from a cold.
I said something to her and started to laugh through my nose, and out came a big snot bubble. I’m not talking about a weak, transparent bubble. I’m talking about a huge giant, thick snot bubble that I couldn’t possibly ignore. The bully and all of her evil friends went, “Eeeew, gross!” I was embarrassed but also amused at myself.
A more recent tale: a few years ago I went on a field trip to Canada. The professor was this big control-freak guy, and he told all of us that he wanted to know all of our medical problems before we left. Not only did we have to tell him if we had asthma, diabetes, allergies, etc., but we also had to tell him if we were going to be on our period. I thought this last one was hilarious, and I was glad I didn’t have to tell him anything since I wasn’t expecting my period.
Well, after a sixteen-hour long drive, I discover that I’ve started my damn period. I mean, I was gushing, and it was all in my pants (only one of two pairs that I had brought, by the way). Fortunately, I had brought along some emergency supplies but I was pissed. The professor caught me washing my pants in the hotel’s laundry room and I felt compelled to “spill the beans”. Seeing as how I don’t like talking about periods to women, let alone men, it was very embarrassing. But it could have been worse. Originally we were going to go camping but we decided to stay in a hotel instead.
Well, I think I have gotten lower than OpalCat and hillbilly queen. At school one day, I didn’t even realize my period had started… that is, until it seemed like everyone in the school had gathered in the hallway to stare at me. I was wearing yellow pants that said “Justice” on them (that detail I’ll always remember).
Some girl finally came up to me, told me what was wrong, and added that she had let the school counsellor know. Better that then everyone staring at me, and making fun of me. Not sure I ever lived that down.
P.S. Last time I posted this, I killed the thread. Please don’t let me do it again.
F_X
This is nowhere near the most embarassing thing I’ve ever done, but it does spring to mind…
After I got out of college, I moved to my parents home for a few months before I moved to europe. While I was there I had a lot of free time, so I started working out pretty heavy in the local baptist gym. One night I was in the locker room getting out of the shower, and I noticed my physique had really improved while passing the glass door of the sauna. I was all alone in the locker room so I mugged and flexed my best bodybuilder flexes in front of the sauna’s glass door for a few minutes.
When the light came on in the sauna and the middle aged Mexican man inside walked out, he gave me a very strange look…
Oh yeah; I was naked.
Ok so you wont kill the thread Flamsterette_X.
I was about 13 and there where some baby birds living in a pot on my porch. Coming home from school I decided to say hi to them (don’t ask me why) so I stood on a bench and said in a very loud voice “Hey Babies!” I was of course talking to the birds, however the two girls my age that where walking by right didn’t know that…never ran into my house so fast in my life.
Here’s one of my dearer childhood moments -
I switched from briefs to boxers in early middle school. I was unused to them, and how they rode up. So, if I was alone, I’d give them a yank and adjust them in several less discreet ways. I was walking alone in the hallways, and my undies were giving me trouble. So, I started to adjust them, seeing no harm in doing it, since no one was around to see me fiddling with my skivvies.
Someone rounded a corner and saw me, with my hand down my pants, and a major deer-in-headlights look from me. I don’t even want to think about what he thought I was doing.
Heh, this thread is hilarious. All these people in comical and embarassing situations.
But I have my own. I was either fourteen or fifteen, and it occured at a family beach house in Galveston. It was around ten in the morning, and I was alone in the room…Then my stepmother walks in to ask me what I’d like for breakfast.
Did I mention I was lying on the top of the bedspread completely nude and, uh, pleasuring thyself? Yeah, well, we didn’t make eye contact for about a week.
One of my most embarassing moments was when I was about 13 and used to ride horses. I was at pony club and had my period. Unbeknownst to me, the pad had ridden up my back side and was sticking out the top of my riding johdpurs. I only found out because something was sticking me in the back!
Also, it didn’t happen to me (thank god) but once my women’s hockey team had this drunken, most embarassing moments session and one woman’s moment I can’t forget. She was about 16 and on a first or second date with this guy she liked and they decided to have a spa (hot tub). By accident she sat on one of the hot water jets and it gave her an enima. Suddenly this poo floats to the surface and past the boyfriend. He leapt out of the spa pool totally disgusted and never called her again.
Surely there are more people with embarrassing moments to be shared!
Okay…I use the term “buttload of…” to describe a lot of something - like “I have a buttload of work to do” or “There’s a buttload of snow outside…”
In developmental bio lab, we were fertilizing frog eggs. We get the frog testes in a little dish which we then pinch with tweezers to extract the sperm. I pinched the teste and it squirted, whereupon I promptly blurted out: "I just got a buttload of sperm!"
I was horrified and the entire class stopped everything and looked at me. Thank God someone started laughing out loud because then it didn’t lapse into that silence where everyone is ignoring what just happened.
Lovely, huh?
Remind me to tell you what a hit I was in lab after I released a mosquito with malaria.
Tibs.
Took a girl to my parent’s lake house one day when I knew they wouldn’t be there. For some reason, it was the exact same day my aunt & uncle decided to bring another lady over to see the house. (these are older folks, mind you) Long story short, I got caught on the downstroke.
After reading some of the stories here one sprung to mind.
The story that sticks out occured about 5 or 6 years ago when I was shit ass drunk at a party in the middle of the countryside. It was about 2 am and it seemed everyone had wandered off to sleep. There was a couch outside (well more like a bench really) that I took upon myslef to lay down on. So sitting there in my drunken haze I thought since I wasn’t getting any that night I would just whip it out and stroke my log for a while, in the peacefulness of the countryside…
Getting caught up into my event, the ugly lady that owned the place the party was at showed up with some guy out of nowhere (she had these guys showing up all night from dating services, they were as gross as she was). So anyway, in the midst of my euphoria, I hear some faint talking then a “tip-tap-tip-tap” on the side of the porch which made me stop in my tracks and turn to one side (facing away, of course). I just stayed there frozen and heard a pause and a few gasps or something IIRC. Then they entered the house. I don’t remember if I finished up after that, but I remember feeling really embarrassed at the time and I think ugly woman told all my friends who were there with me about it or something lol. Once thing I do remember later that night was I lit up a cigarette and snuck around the house to hear those two nasty people bumping uglies. Just thinking about it is gross. Sorta funny and embarassing as well. Glad I don’t associate with trash people like that anymore. Now that I think about it I’m more amused than embarassed. 
What’s wrong with that? I do it all the time. (Well, minus the driving part.)
::Walks off, singing::
Just wild beat communication
Ameni utarenagara
Iroasenai atsui omoi
Karadajuude tsutaetaiyo tonight!
I’ve done that too, ** ramorris**, though not in Japanese. And I have been caught. Recently, I asked myself why some shmoe was staring at me in a parking lot. Only later did it occur to me that I was singing at the top of my lungs at the time.
My most embarrassing incident (lame, though it is) was when I was an incredibly self-conscious teenager. I was a freshman in high school. I was in gym. My older brother (God rest his soul) was the teacher’s aide. We were doing a track segment in P.E.
My family never had a lot of money. I had to wear my swimming trunks as gym shorts.
We were doing the long jump. Never been very good at physical activity (though I strangely was better than anyone else at sit-ups, go figure), I nonetheless tried to impress all of the girls in my class.
I hunkered down, trying to jump as far as I could. As I hunkered down, I split my pants. Underneath was the white panty thing in most men’s swim trunks. As I flew through the air, I heard nothing but the cackling of my classmates.*
My brother ran up to me and told me what happened. And he followed me back to the locker. I was mortified. As I sat alone in the locker room, changing back in to my normal clothes (high water jeans and a Guns and Roses T-shirt. Funny how one remembers), I sobbed my little heart out.
Sid
*Though I was quiet, I was well-liked by my classmates. I remember that once new kid that was instantly popular came to my school and started heckling me. Another more popular kid took him aside and whispered to him. The guy never bothered me again.
Wow. I didn’t mean that to be quite as pathetic as it sounds.
Trust me, I’ve been much more embarrassed by things I’ve done, though most things have been dismissed as drunken exuberance.
I think I was around 1-1/2 or 2 when this happend (I don’t actually remember it, but this is how the story goes from my aunt). I was with my aunt and uncle in a local mall perusing through a department store. My aunt was looking at some clothes and my uncle was with my little sister. So, being unwatched, I crawled underneath a dressing room door (which they happend to keep locked) so as to hide. My uncle saw me go underneath it. When he and my aunt tried to get me to come out, I refused. This went on for a few minutes. They finally found an employee with a key to unlock the door. When they opened the door they had found I crapped my pants. This is where it gets good… (aww, no evil grin smiley!) So, my aunt thinking this was going to be a quick trip to the mall, had only packed one pair of clean pants. I was placed in the stroller and rushed to the nearest bathroom. When we arrived at the bathroom, my aunt looked in the stroller with a look of horror on her face. Aparrently I had decided to play with the feces that resided in my pants 
. I had it ALL over myself… my shirt, my face, arms, hair… everything! Now this might not have been an embarassing story for ME, but I’m definately sure my aunt and uncle were (yeah, its REALLY funny now that I hear about it… would this be a good story for the girlfriend? haha… yeah right). So, my aunt cleaned me up as best she could and changed my pants… too bad she hadn’t brought an extra shirt (jeeze, what was she thinking? she should have known I could have shit my shirt!).