How about the nastiest thing I -almost- did. I was hiking in the mountains, and saw what looked like a tasty mushroom. I picked it, and was going to pop it in my mouth. I thought better of it, and tossed it on the ground, instead. The nastiest green ooze/slime came out, at least a teaspoon worth. Ugh.
And I’d recount the nastiest thing I’ve done on purpose, but that’s not what this thread is about, now, is it? 
What I almost did…my ex SO/current roommate has a thing for rum. And leaves glasses around of it. So I’ve on occasion come across one and thought “Oh how nice” and gone to take a sip…only to find…it’s his piss.
Ewwwwwwwww…ick ick ick ick.
I have no idea why he wants to piss into cups when we have two very viable toilets in the house. And he doesn’t have any other disgusting habits. Per se. Fortunatly I can tell the difference between rum and piss pretty quickly.
But ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.
When I was a kid, we were at the beach having a big family picnic. My little sister took a sip of a Coke and got a mouthul of half-drown bees.
No.
I’ve realted the tale before, so I’ll keep it short.
I used to have long hair. Really long.
I used to work as a Nurses Aide.
Nothing I have done before or since is as gross as getting the results of a twice weekly enema on your hair. Save, of course, jerking back in horror with a yelp, and getting that same hank of hair to fly up and land right in your mouth.
I did not puke. I am not the puking type.
But it was a close thing.
Never confuse a gumball and a paintball. Just sayin’.
I stepped on a slug in bare feet as a child. It was right up amongst the toes so it squished and flowed into all the little crevices.
Personally, nothing too bad. There was that one time Mom was making a cake and my brother and I saw a can of beautiful white frosting open and unguarded on the counter… We both stuck our fingers in and got a nice big gob. I managed to keep mine in my mouth just long enough to make sure my brother tasted his too. It was Crisco, of course.
This happened to my son: Once, I had brought in an empty cardboard box from the garage and it was sitting on the living room floor. Paul crawled into it to explore and found what he thought were Nerds (little crumblike candies). Unfortunately, they were little crumbs of rat shit. Or possibly bug shit. We still tease him to this day about the time he tasted the “mystery Nerds”.
No exploding corpses or slime, but it still makes me cringe thinking about it:
I’d worn shoes that were too tight. The nail on my right big toe turned blue. After a few days, I was walking over a high threshold and slipped. The blue toenail caught on the threshold and flipped up like a toilet seat, allll the way to the root. Man, that hurt. And was really disgusting. Especially when I had to fold it down again.
Seconded. They look delicious, though, especially when you keep them in the fridge, and you’re drunk…
I once drank a large mouthful of Dutchboy brand latex household paint. Yellow paint. Not really on purpose. That’s how I got my original user name on here.
Well, I’ve raised a number of children, so nasty experiences are par for the course. The only thing that comes immediately (apart from being puked upon, repeatedly) to mind is noticing, hours later, the remains of the last poopy diaper change beneath my fingernails. I try not to think about what I may have eaten in the time in the interval and any finger-licking which may or may not have occurred.
I picked up what I thought was my beer bottle. Hmm, it was an awfully funny tasting warm beer - what the hell? Yeah, that was the bottle the two nasty guys were spitting loogeys (I have no idea of the preferred spelling) in.
I drank loogy.
I threw up a little in my mouth just remembering it, and it’s been at least 15 years.
You just reminded me of this commercial - the flip-top toenail. Just looking at that picture again gave me a cold shiver.
Just this morning I sat on a hairball on the couch. I got up after a few minutes and my leg felt damp. “That’s funny,” I thought, “my leg shouldn’t be damp.” I looked at the couch, and sure enough, there’s a nice, flattened hairball where I was sitting. Another gross experience was stepping in a big, fat, juicy hairball on the floor with bare feet. Little rotters.
I also made a rotten fried egg once, and ate a bit of it. If you’ve never tasted rotten fried egg, I don’t recommend it. It put me off eggs for a long time, and next to nothing puts me off any food. I smell all my eggs before cooking them now.
When we were teenagers, my next-door neighbor was screwing his girlfriend in his back yard.
She was on her period.
He flung the tampon over the fence into the driveway.
I walked out into the driveway. Not looking where I was going. In my bare feet.
Fill in the rest of the details yourself, my friends.
I’ll tell one on my late uncle – he and my aunt used to recycle plastic margarine tubs by preportioning ice cream into them and freezing them. When they wanted some ice cream, they’d just take a tub out of the freezer.
They came to our house for dinner, and when I was clearing the table, my uncle noticed a plastic tub he hadn’t seen before. “Ice cream for dessert!” he thought, and took a big spoonful. Of course, it was margarine. We never let him forget.
I don’t know how I could have forgotten to mention the time I stepped barefoot on a live roach, which was lying on its back with all its horrid evil legs waving in the air. Pardon me while I get busy trying to forget it again…
Ha! This isn’t terribly gross, but my grandparents used to save what was left of the morning coffee in the refrigerator and at lunch, re-heat it in a pan on the stove. My grandfather, who had failing eyesight, did this very thing one noon – except he selected a re-used glass jar containing leftover canned beets! So, he re-heated beet juice, and poured it into his and my grandmother’s cups. It was a shock, taking a sip of nice hot beet juice!
I never did hear how he managed to overlook the beets which presumably were there in the jar as well.
What is that a commercial for?
Toenail fungus stuff.
Saving the morning coffee and reheating it later. Interesting habits folks developed in the Depression Era.
I’ve clipped my nails and put them in an empty coke can. Then I distract myself with whatever I’m doing, get thirsty and drink my toenails. I’ve done this on two or three occasions.
