What's the nastiest thing you've ever accidentally done?

In My Humble Opinion
61

My Mom set this one up, but it was an accident on my part. We were a frugal family (by necessity) and one of Mom’s very few indulgences was Diet Coke. I also loved DC and would drain her glass whenever I found it unattended; naturally, this wouls piss her off.

One day I came in from a hot summer afternoon and saw a tall, icy DC sitting on the kitchen counter and no Mom in sight. I took a deep guzzle and after swallowing a massive mouthful realized it was a glass of soy sauce with ice cubes in it. Mom emerged from where she was hiding in the living room and laughed her ass off.

In my early 20s I went to visit a friend and her new SO, whom I had not met yet, overnight. We went to a bar, where I proceeded to drink about half my body weight in White Russians (Kahlua, cream, and vodka). Oh, I had a wonderful time and was witty and gay and charming until I threw up in their car on the way home. The most charming thing was that I threw up inside the seat belt clicker-inner part and into the emergency-brake-retainer-thinger, all impossible places to get into and clean. They were not charmed and, reportedly, the car smelled for months.

62

Ok, that makes a lot more sense. I’m getting Lasik in a couple weeks, and I am wearing my years old glasses. Obviously the prescription is a bit out of date.

63

I had the same experience, only instead of a slug, the “leaf” was actually a turd from the little boy next door who had been in the water before me. :eek:

64

Around summer 1957, (I estimate because I was 4 at the time and that was when I was just learning to read words) I noticed that my mother in the laundry room had some liquid in a jar which I (proud as hell of myself) read out s-l-o-w-l-y: “Donald Duck [brand] Orange Juice.”

I knew I had to swig some down–I liked O.J., I liked Donald Duck, what could possibly go wrong?

The answer, as astute readers will guess, is that mother wasn’t quite stupid enough to haul a bottle of O.J. to the laundry, but she was stupid enough to keep her bleach in there, and within my little arm’s length.

I did not enjoy that experience at all.

65

Okay, warm summer day, pour a glass of Kool-Aid while I do housework and such, take care of the kid, etc. Glass sat there for a little while and then I went to take another drink. Roach in the mouth, Kool-Aid right back into the glass. Quick quick drink of water, ptoo, ptoo. I felt crawly for a couple of hours.

And…there is just nothing more special than getting up in the middle of the night, barefoot, and stepping right on the recently chewed, wet, squishy hunk of rawhide toy that the darn dog left on the floor.

66

A few years ago when I was in University:

I was in an organic chemistry lab. I don’t remember the exact experiment. But we were performing a distillation under vacuum.

I needed to move my vacuum distillation apparatus. “No problem,” thinks I. I’ll just carefully slide it.

While I was moving it, I heard a crack. I opened my mouth (mistake) to say “Oh, shit”. Concurrently, the atmosphere rushed into my apparatus and forcefully propelled a few hundred grams of organic sludge, distillate, and a healthy dose of aluminum based catalyst directly into my open mouth.

Like I said, I don’t remember exactly what we were distilling. But I do remember that it was a deep red color.

The girl next to me heard me exclaim “Oh shit”. She turned to look at me, only to see me standing agape with a deep red liquid pouring out of my mouth onto the front of my shirt. She must have thought it was blood; she fainted.

On my part - the mixture was fairly acidic. I spewed a good deal of orgo chemicals onto the lab bench, then managed to stumble to an eyewash/shower station. I spent about ten minutes rinsing my mouth with water, then spitting organic tar. My mouth burned like hell.

Meanwhile, my orgo TA had come over to see what had happened. She took one look at me then turned ghost white. She called in paramedics and a chemical response team.

One of the PhDs in the department showed up as well. My TA told him what had happened, he just sort of shrugged and said - and I’ll remember this - “Eh, he’ll live.”

After about 30 minutes of rinsing under a chemical safety shower they let me go home. I was feeling mostly ok by that point. My dorm was about a 15 minutes walk away.

By the time I got home - my shirt had been burnt away completely around the collar to my chest. Strangely I didn’t really suffer much burning on my face or my mouth where the bulk of the distillation reaction had been sprayed.

Maybe two weeks after I was talking to an extremely attractive girl that was one year behind my but the same major. I told her what happened:

“Wow, you don’t look like your face suffered a major chemical burn!”

…

Gee, thanks baby. Best compliment I’ve ever received. :smiley:

67

…and in a final coda of failure:

I had earned an “A” in the course. But the TA dropped my grade to a “B” because I hadn’t completed the experiment.

…despite her telling me at the time “Go ahead and go home. I’m sure this was traumatic. You can skip this lab report.”