What's the purpose of napkins?

In your lap, that is?

What is the real purpose: to trap food falling into your lap, to keep it off the table after it has food stuffs smeared on it, or “that’s just what you’re supposed to do?”

mj is the one over there with the gravy stain on his crotch. At least I think that’s gravy

“Pardon me while I have a strange interlude.”-Marx

You put it there so if theres something you don’t like, but don’t want to appear rude by not eating, you can simply just drop it down into your lap when no ones looking. Then later on you can discretely fold it up in the napkin, put it in your pocket and feed it to the dog at a more opportune time. Most of us learned this at the age of 5…where were you?

For some reason, tucking it into your shirt front became declasse (I know there should be accents there, but I don’t know how to do them). I blame the Victorians. In fact, I blame the Victorians for a lot of things. So the napkin slid down the shirt and into the lap.

Oh, and get your elbows off the table.

and always clean your plate!

Supposedly it’s to keep your clothes clean since your lap is the first place food falls. Unless of course you are wearing a tie.

“Do or do not, there is no try” - Yoda

Senior Intern to
El Presidente
Self-Righteous Clique *

Surgoshan’s Laws of Dining:
If you are wearing a tie or anything white, you will drop something on it.
If you are wearing a shirt with a white stripe on it, food will only fall on that stripe.
Good clothes don’t stay good for long.

I sold my soul to Satan for a dollar. I got it in the mail.

Its so the waiter can grope you in the crotch when he puts it there.

Excuse me but your fly is open…

This sig not Y2K compliant. Happy 1900.

OR unless you have large breasts. I have never had a piece of food make it to my lap–it just sits peacefully atop my chest. Napkins tucked into shirts need to make a comeback–in my opinion!

I have a hobby. I have the world’s largest collection of seashells. I keep it scattered on beaches all over the world. Maybe you’ve seen some of it.

Because the 14th Amendment says so! :slight_smile:

I think another possibility is that keeping your dirty napkin in your lap keeps it out of sight of everyone else at the table.

I think johnny has it right. I know that I get grossed out seeing someone else’s dirty napkin, so putting it on the table is out of the question. WHere else is there? the floor?

“it’s all real”
“I KNEW IT!!!”
O p a l C a t

I can Scotchguard™ those for you. It’s no trouble, really.

Or you have extreme cantilevering! :stuck_out_tongue:


I could never eat a mouse raw…their little feet are probably real cold going down. :rolleyes:

Sheesh! That’s what I get for not reading a thread all the way! Sorry Evilbeth! :o


I could never eat a mouse raw…their little feet are probably real cold going down. :rolleyes:

I put it there because my mom always said I should. :slight_smile: