And a few more now that I think of it.
Got bitten by the “harmless” garden snakes they kept in a tank at school.
Almost cracked pelvis by climbing onto a balcony and having my foot slip off ledge just as I had swung my other leg over the cement edge. Fell over and laid on the ground thanking god I didn’t have balls while my pelvis vibrated so bad my teeth hurt.
Ran bicycle into parked car and got twisted up like a pretzel, I still have the scar 25 years later…
Dislocated my shoulder (again, it does it at will, apparently) trying to slap one of the kids upside the back of the head, boy did they get a laugh out of that!!
I was four and living in Germany. We were visiting my Oma and it was winter. I decided to go sledding on my new sled. At the bottom of the slope was a chain link fence. Sled runners hit an ice patch and I couldn’t stop. Ran right into the fence post with my face. Blood everywhere, unbelievably, no broken bones.
I was living in Lawton, OK and was walking on top of some sandstone fence. I slipped and fell and rocks entered my private regions. I came home with bloody underwear (I was two or three), mom freaked out. I was taken to the ER and that’s all I remember about it.
Most embarrassing…getting bitten by a FAT, THREE LEGGED DOG. Walked by this damn dog every day and he never moved. On that fateful day he did move. I didn’t hear or see him coming. He bit me on the side of my hip and ass. I was on my way to work and was bleeding like crazy. Dumbshit manager wouldn’t let me go home and I was bleeding through my pants because the band-aids wouldn’t stick. Not a nice thing.
Sliced myself on my hand and wrist with a box cutter. I was working in the back of a dairy section at the commissary. Someone dropped a load of pallets, which startled me. I was cutting box tops off at the same time. Apparently, I started, turned and dragged the box cutter across bottom part of my palm and down the side of my wrist. Blood everywhere, muscle popping out of my hand. Seven stitches inside and seven out.
You know, a person with a dirtier mind might read this the wrong way…
Anywho, my weirdest injury happened me to when I was a wee gaffer. I was about one year old, and somehow I had wrapped my leg around the leg of our couch, and snap-a-roo, broke in two.
There are pictures of me lying in my crib, wearing diapers and a huge cast, being held in traction.
oh, had a few in my time. None of these nasty cuts and blood though. I’m a bone breaker.
Bone #1,2: 9 years old. Standing on an old bridge, peeling bark off a tree. Leaning out to peel more bark. Putting hand on slippery patch where bark used to be. Plummeting 20 feet and breaking 2 bones in my wrist
Bone#3,4: 11 years old. Jumping off a lifeguard chair into 6" of water. I thought it was 5 feet of water. Snap, 2 bones in my right foot.
many more breaks in between, much more mundane.
More recently I punched a wall, hit a stud and broke my hand. Also playing paintball, I tried to jump a ditch. It was too wide. I broke one ankle and sprained the other. I quite literally crawled off the field, while people shot at me. They thought I was trying to be sneaky. Ouch.