Buckaro Bonzi acroos the eighth demention. Do not even care if it is spelled right.
Buckaro Bonzi across the eighth demention. Do not even care if it is spelled right.
The Coneheads
Lost in Space
Both of which I walked out of the theatre in utter disgust.
Eye of the Beholder - I sat through it and still have no idea what was going on.
The Fan - The only time I have been in a theatre where the audience engaged in actual MST3K style heckling of the movie. And this was years before MST3K.
Space Monster - Very old movie. Again, I have no idea…
I cannot excoriate this film thoroughly enough.
Two-plus solid hours of:
[ul]
[li] wooden dialogue from Brad Pitt[/li][li] Claire Forlani chewing up the scenery and making damply quivering cow-eyes in every scene [/li][li] Marcia Gay Harden whinging and pouting like a spoiled child[/li][li] Jeffrey Tambor ::shudder::[/li][li] and finally, Anthony Hopkins sleepwalking through the whole thing, presumably to a fat paycheque at the end[/li][/ul]
Never mind the fact that the main character could not invoke a single scrap of empathy from yours truly. This guy was richer than Bill Gates, grumpy as heck, and has a dysfunctional family. Whether the physical embodiment of Death has come to take him away, or he gets hit by a flaming asteroid on his private golf course, why should I care? There was not a single thing about this character that I could relate to in even the slightest way.
The one scene I might have derived a slight bit of utility from was when the scumbag business partner gets sent down the river after admitting indiscretions over a speaker phone, but by the time that scene came up, I was stabbing knitting needles into my eyes to distract me from the pain the film was inflicting.
Unlike some other posters to this thread, I am essentially incapable of walking away from a film once I have sat down to watch it, but I have never come closer to switching a film off in the middle… This last statement includes consideration of Eye of the Beholder (Ewan “Obi Wan” McGregor), **Fresh Horses **(Molly Ringwald), and Soul Man (C. freakin’ Thomas Howell) all of which, God Help me, I watched to the bitter end.
Jeffrey Tambor…brrrrrrr.
Can I get an AMEN for Roadhouse?
Amazing that people actually like this movie. I have to attribut it to
(I’ll just carry on)
the perverse pleasure of seeing something horrible, or knowing that the milk has spoiled, but having to smell it anyway.
What a cliche-a-thon.
This movie makes the Rambo films seem weighty by comparison. First you have an itinerant bouncer (does such a person exist?) who moves to a town populated entirely by wooden cutouts for characters. You have the very-bad-man-who-controls-things, the very-bad-lackeys-who-work-for-the-very-bad-man, the dumpy-old-shopkeeper-who-just-happens-to-have-a-supermodel-daughter-who-is-oh-by-the-way-a-doctor, corrupt police and politicians.
We have a bad guy with a razor in his boot.
A blind singer.
Tire slashing.
Bar fights with broken bottles.
The hero gets stiched up without anesthetic. OK, I understand if you’re on the battlefield, but when you are in a hospital emergency room it’s really no trouble for them to give you a quick shot. But, noooo, that wouldn’t fit for the tough guy.
This movie left slack-jawed in it’s wake. God, it sucked.
No. I saw Star Trek V. (Actually, I saw it down in Westwood Village, and the guy who played Spock’s brother brought his kids to see it too. Brush with fame there, eh?) Anyway, as stinky and as abysmal as the film was, I could at least make SOME sense of the (stinky) plot. (And, it starts out in Yosemite National Park and it has a nice Jerry Goldsmith score, so it gets points for that.) So, Highlander II is still the: Worst. Movie. EVER.
Wow… why hasn’t anyone said Waterworld yet?
Yeah, Little Nicki was bad…
I have the pleasure of saying that I’ve never seen most of the movies that have been mentioned so far, but I have seen Manos: Hands of Fate. Nothing I have ever seen comes close to it. If someone paid me to put all my effort into makine the worst movie possible I wouldn’t be able to come close to MHOF.
RR
You left out the best part. He stitches himself up without anesthetic. :rolleyes:
There are at least four movies that I really wish I had never seen. I don’t just want to get the time back, I want to be able to forget them completely (except that I want to remember not to see them again).
“The Hitcher.” Well made, well acted, truely disgusting movie. Okay, not every movie has to have a Hollywood ending, but the ending of this movie is horrible, and a lot of other terrible stuff happens on the way there.
“The Stewardesses.” As I have said in another thread, this was a soft-core porn film in 3-D. The idea of 3-D porn was very appealing to me at the time. However, it was not at all sexy, and the script was awful, especially the ending. It is an incredibly depressing movie.
“Beyond the Valley of the Dolls.” This is another soft-core porn film. It starts off okay, nothing special. But the ending (I seem to be in a rut here) destroys any - shall we say “uplifting” - effect the movie might have had.
“Dementia 13.” Just gross, beginning to end.
There are a lot of movies I have never seen and never plan to see, just because I don’t enjoy movies that get all their audience reaction by spilling blood. If you enjoy that sort of thing, you may have a higher opinion of some of the movies above.
I disagree with this assessment. Most movies are boring to me, simply because I have no interest in the story. However, that does not mean they are without merit. In my opinion, the very worst movies are ones which you are actively embarrassed to be watching, both for yourself and for the actors! The ones which cause you to hide your face because of the utter stupidity of plot, acting, and writing unfolding before you. Or, worse yet, the ones which make you actively angry at the ineptitude. The ones which are so bad, you can’t even make fun of them effectively (as such, I can’t count anything which was, or could be, MST3K fodder). I’ve seen many of the allegedly “worst ever” movies listed here. I never felt embarrassment over watching Armageddon or Highlander II, or even Battlefield Earth. Those were comparative hoots!
I stand by my previous claims. Nothing redeemable about either of them. Even in a “it’s so bad it’s good” way.
Obviously, redeemability will vary from person to person, so this is just my opinion, of course.
American Godzilla. worse than 63% of the MST3k movies. Coleman Francis or Hal Warren could have made a better Godzilla movie. If Ed wood made it, Broderick would have cross dressed, but the movie still would have been 10000 times better.
Armageddeon may be bad, but its wanna-be clone, Deep Impact, was worse. I saw it without sound on an airplane flight, and even I ended up rooting for the big asteroid to nuke the planet at the end of the movie.
When I read the thread title, my first thought was Highlander II. Glad to see I am not alone.
The only movie I’ve ever walked out of is Pet Cemetary, probably because I read the book and knew it was just going to start getting worse.
And we recently rented Rock Star. Jennifer Aniston piercing Marky Mark’s nipple? ICK! Turned it off after 1/2 hour.
Let Mr. Cranky have the last word:
Godzilla. The Matthew Broderick version. I didn’t pay to see it, but I still feel like I got ripped off.
Blade 2 was mind-numbingly awful. Pollo Boyo and I went to see it because his friends kept raving about what an amazing movie it was. After it was over we just kinda exchanged “what the hell?” looks. I’m told his friends got a thorough thwapping for recommending that turd.
I rarely stop watching movies before finishing them, but CB4 I just couldn’t stand long enough. Spawn was a movie I almost walked out of, but didn’t (I was with friends when I saw it). I also really hated Star Trek V and the Broderick version of Godzilla. Oh yeah, and I hated Armageddon.