I can’t believe I’m admitting this but when I was around 11 years old (late 1980’s) I paid to see They Live. Does anyone remember this movie? It had a ridiculous fight scene that lasted over half an hour. It was by far the most embarrassing excuse for a film I have ever seen. What makes it worse is that it was on USA network a couple of weeks ago.
Other than that miserable cesspool of talentless cretins I will have to say MI2. I didn’t think it could get that bad.
Spoilt for choice on this one.
Sheena, Queen of the Jungle (even the guys in audience laughed at Tanya Robert’s nude scene)
Conan the Destroyer
Rob Roy
Robin Hood, Prince of Thieves
I walked out on all these except RHPOT - I couldn’t leave that one because I was babysitting a young relative who loved it and refused to leave.
I’m surprised nobody had nominated Mission to Mars yet. I rarely see first run movies, and then it’s usually at the local art house. M2M was the first time I’d been to a megaplex (google-plex??? oof!) in a few years… the first big budget hollywood extravaganza I’ve witnessed in a medium other than VHS in a long time. It’s totally ruined the modern american moviegoing experience for me. Quite possibly the most pandering, lowest common denominator peice of dreck I’ve ever wasted eight bucks and three hours on. Gary Sinese must REALLY wanna be an astronaut… somebody get that man a scholarship to Space Camp so he can stop subjecting everybody else to this crap.
“Have a good ride Ed!”
“Ten-four!”
Seems like I pick way too many bad movies to pay for, partial list:
Wild Wild West - fell asleep in it.
Lost World, Jurasic Park 2 - I should have known.
Godzilla
Out of Africa - I was with a gorgeous date and STILL fell asleep.
have seen many of those but not at theaters, my nominees are:
The Lost World
Starship Troopers
and
Judge Dread (ful) you know it’s going to be bad when you have the opening lines READ OUTLOUD! (like the begining of star wars, but instead you’ve got James Earl Jones reading it for you…) At that point, I leaned over to my bf and said, quietly, “you OWE me, BIG time”
This was a recent film that went straight to the dollar theater. I’m sorry I saw it, I wasted a dollar. There is no plot to speak of…just a bunch of anecdotes about a woman who moved to Africa, loosely tied together by chronology. You never even find out what was in the blasted ostrich egg!
Scary Movie - My IQ dropped 20 points watching this movie.
Mission Impossible (implausible?)II - the first one was good, but that damn mask thing in II was just plain old silly.
Beast Masters - it was in the 80’s. I don’t remember much, other than it sucked.
We had to see it on a class trip. Take every crappy war movie cliche and squish it into a fetid pile of crap. Voila! Flight of the Intruder.
The wierdest part was that after the torture ended, my best friend and I were in line in the restroom dissecting the nightmare when the lady behind me went nuts. She was crying and started yelling that I didn’t know what I was talking about, calling me a stupid kid, etc. Very surreal.
I’m embarrassed to admit this. I actually went to see Knock Off. My expectations were approaching absolute zero for this one. I hate Van Damme, and there hasn’t been a watchable american martial arts movie since the early 80’s. (At the time, I didn’t know that Tsui Hark directed it. I still refuse to accept it) In retrospect, I can’t belive my own optimism, and that of all the bright young men that this film destroyed.
Ten minutes in, there was only me and one other guy in the theater. It was ghastly. It was like the writer, actors, director, and the editor had made the entire movie without ever speaking to each other. The actors thought they were in a drama, (You do NOT want to see Van Damme trying to act) the director was trying to make a fun wire-fu movie. The scripwriter was trying to outdo monkey #37, and so prove that giving adding a 38th monkey was financially justified. The editor was, presumably, successful in not soiling his Go-Bots underwear.
I sat through Shallow Grave. I was unphased by Waterworld, Fifth Element, and Beastmaster 2. I laughed in the face of Soldier. The shocking horror of the Blair Witch Project (Shocking in that it actually got made. Horror became watching the three most non-charismatic youths in the history of mankind wander around and bitch at each other for an hour and a half, and occasionally pretend to be frightend by a rock or a bit of wood, actaully became popular) left me midly irritated, but unharmed.
The only movie I ever walked out of was Kingpin. My brother, who’s famous for taking me to truely evil movies, actually turned to me and apologized 15 minutes into it.
Kingpin had nothing on Knock Off.
I watched both MD Geist and MD Geist 2 in the same sitting. And I laughed. Laughed, I tell you!
But NOTHING brought me as close to the edge as Knock Off. I could actually hell itself bubbling out of the screen and grabbing onto my face, trying to leech out my soul. It was only by loudly expressing my disgust, along with the other damned soul in the audience, that I survived at all. Sometimes I still wake up at night, soaked with sweat, knowing that somewhere out there, a DVD copy exists.
Was still better than Hobgoblins, though.
–
“We survived Monster-a-Go-Go, we can survive this.”
I paid to see Spice World.
Twice.
I thought it was hilarious.
Pity me.
Wow…I got high and drunk at the movie theater. We were there to see…the Corruptor I think. We were a little messed up and got there late, and they sold out. THe only thing left was…
You guessed it, Spice world! Hated every second of it, laughed to tears…and then the 40 bottle rolled all the way down to the front of the theater and shattered. I think our performance, as a group of guys was better than the movie. 
-Sam
I hardly go to the theater and the last 2 movies I saw makes me wished I never went to a theater on the first place.
Here on Earth - According to this movie:
[ul]
[li]If you talk about dead mother and how much you miss her, you’ll get laid.[/li]
[li]Your ex will still always do everything you tell him to even after you cheated on him with his friend.[/li]
[li]Standing still staring at nothing will make you smart around others.[/li][/ul]
bleh
Pokémon 2000 IMO the first movie was good, but this movie was just horrible. First off, you had to watch all the episodes of Pokémon to understand what’s going on, or who everyone is. Second, the battle scenes were dull. “Oh wow, 3 birds are shooting stuff at each other”. The ancient Mew card they give you before the movie is a piece of crap, you can’t even use it for the Pokémon card game because the whole thing was hologramed. I heard they editted out a kissing scene between Ash and Misty. That would of saved the movie, but NO that’s too sensitive for little over reactive kids :rolleyes:
The last thing, probably the worst line ever muttered in any movie :
"Gee, if Pokémon training was hard, then saving the world would be…even harder!"
I would of walked out of that movie except I brought my little brother to it for his birthday present.
Worst “suspense” film: (tie) ** Pacific Heights ** Hint: If a knife wielding psychopath is after you, and you have a ground level picture window behind you…JUMP THROUGH THE WINDOW, YOU FREAKING IDIOT!
Worst “suspense” film: (tie) ** In Dreams ** Suspenseful movies done poorly are just embarrassing. Kate Capshaw can sure pick 'em.
Worst “drama” - Kenneth Brannagh’s ** Frankenstein ** - He had Lord Anthony Hopkins at his disposal and STILL screwed it up. Ken, stick to Shakespeare.
Worst “erotic” movie - (tie) ** Bolero ** - My friend wanted to make a statement against censorship in Cincinnati by dragging me to this flick. Personally, I thought the film should have been banned for entirely different reasons.
Worst “erotic” movie - (tie) ** Eyes Wide Shut ** - At least John Derek was never a revered director, for gawd’s sake.
Worst “sci-fi” movie - (tie) - ** Dune ** - ** Sting ** couldn’t save this movie! Need I say more?
Worst “sci-fi” movie - (tie) - ** Phantom Menace ** - Aside from looking reeeeeeaaally ugly, why exactly were we supposed to hate Darth Maul? It seemed to me that half the movie was left on the editing floor. Too bad.
The Talented Mr. Ripley
Casual Sex (late 80s/early 90s w/ Lea Thomspson)
Natural Born Killers. Hands down. What an unrelenting crap-fest that was.
MagicalSilverKey wrote:
You shoulda just rented Dangerous Liasons. Then you coulda seen her plain ol’ nekkid, and in a good movie, to boot!
Oh, I’ve SEEN all these bad movies. But then you’re asking for ones I paid to see.
Battlefield Earth. ouch. I apologized to my kids for wasting valuable hours of their precious lives.
Flowers in the Attic. ugh.
Whoa, jab1 – I had almost forgotten about Lost in Space.
That movie sucked, sucked, sucked. The dialogue was so bad I was dumbfounded. And that ending, with the giant man-spider/time travel/vortex fiasco…Huh?
Ahh! I had successfully repressed the memory of seeing this calamity until you brought it up! Yes, I’m ashamed to say hubby and I paid full theater price for this torture.
I also thought Seven was awful: the first 3/4 is awful because it’s horrifying. Just for relief from this horror, when we saw the imfamous package for the first time, I turned to my husband and said facetiously, “It’s a human head!” And, well . . . When the ending of a movie turns out to actually coincide with a bad joke, you know you’re in trouble.
Yeah, I remember going to see Judge Dredd too, and it sucked. Boy, did it suck. Also, I hate to say it because I thought it would be a really good movie, but ** Mission to Mars** was probably one of the worst movies ever made. And the previews for it looked so good, too. Oh, well. Maybe next time, I guess.