We Built This City is an abomination birthed of four writers, because three people could not produce something that horrific. This is the devil’s side of the bargain Bernie Fuckin’ Taupin agreed to in order to create so many hit songs with Elton John.
Break My Stride, by Matthew Wilder, is my own personal white whale, and for hate’s sake I will spit my last breath at it, but it only reached #2, so it gets a pass, today.
This is a wonderful opportunity to vent my spleen in the general direction of Paul Simon, though. His work with Art Garfunkel will resonate throughout history as long as we can reproduce and play back sound, but he also signed a deal with the devil. The devil’s payment was Red Rubber Ball, by a one-hit-wonder called The Cyrcle. I used to forgive him, figuring, well, things are tough for young musicians/songwriters when they are starting out - but then I found out that Simon gave the song to The Cyrcle in 1966, after Simon & Garfunkel had achieved success.
Gah. I’ve heard Mr Simon has a bit of a swelled head, which I guess is natural after all he’s achieved. I propose that, for the rest of his days, he be made to wear a single earphone and listen to Red Rubber Ball on a loop, as his own personalized memento mori.
As in the Minus Five, one of Peter Buck’s side bands?
Yes, indeed, the Minus Five. In this clip, he’s playing the bass. (RIP Bill Rieflin)
How about "Hold On" by Wilson Phillips? For a number of years, I swear, I couldn't walk into a store and not hear that playing on the overhead. :smack:
Good Morning Starshine made #1 in Canada but only peaked at #3 in the US, but how undeserving of any chart position is a song that features these lyrics:
Glibby gloop gloopy Nibby Nabby Noopy La La La Lo Lo
Sabba Sibby Sabba Nooby abba Nabba Le Le Lo Lo
Tooby ooby walla nooby abba nabba
Early mornin’ singin’ song
There are far too many appalling lyrics to quote them all within fair use guidelines.
The earnest delivery of this tripe is enough to provoke a diabetic coma.
Celine Dion’s “My Heart Will Go On” is what finally convinced me that “MacArthur Park” was no longer the worst successful song ever. Near, far, whereeeeeeever you are…
Also a (dis)honorable mention for the Bee Gees’ awful “I’ve Just Gotta Get a Message to You.” If you haven’t ever heard this song, I recommend keeping it that way.
I like MacArthur Park. I like Break My Stride, Sugar Sugar, Chirpy-Chirpy Cheep-Cheep, We Built This City, Good Morning Starshine and Angie Baby. Possibly others in the thread too, but I can’t be arsed scrolling to remind myself…
I think the OP should have qualified their understanding of the word “worst”. Did they mean lyrically? Plenty of those have been mentioned already. Or musically? Because, hell, these are pop songs on pop charts, I would expect #1s to have schmaltzy pop melodies, that’s not fair to vote any of those as worst. You’d need to find something really unconventional or non-melodic to pick a “winner” in that category.
“The morning sun is shining like a red rubber ball.”
Horrible simile that is in the climax of the chorus, so it’s emphasized and repeated several times. Worse, I think, is that insipid. . . I guess it’s a keyboard. . . that sounds sort of like a calliope. Because that’s what the world needs: more calliope.
I could maybe forgive Simon a bit. It seems he did write it when he was less financially fluid. From Wikipedia:
But when he WAS financially secure, he still decided to unleash it upon the world, so I’m not *that *forgiving. He should have chopped its head off and buried it at the crossroads instead of giving it to someone else.
It’s an insipid song. You know, de gustibus and all that. Plus, I may or may not be exaggerating for effect.
Not with Break My Stride or We Built This City, though. If I had three trips in a time machine, I’d go back and stop both of these from being created, then I’d go back and stop one of them again, just to make sure.
