What's the worst-stretched metaphor/analogy you've heard?

You can’t stretch your metaphor too far out from the base, because you get metaphor shear.

I waxed eloquent once, and strained my vocal cords.
BANNED, from IMHO thread on how many women actually
shave their arms.

No, I didn’t mean that - I actually found it quite
funny…

Seems like every half-time locker room speech is full of them.

One time, “The team is like a train, we all have to go the same way. One guy is out front, with a coal car guy next, then a line of linemen, then a wimpy kicker for a caboose, but only when we need it.” On and on for ten minutes.

One time I was really high and I told my friend Suzy she looked like a “melted candle.”

It made no sense, which both of us realized even though we were fucked up. I think in my mind was an image of a pillar candle slighly melted so it curves…I don’t know. But we laughed about that for hours.