I keep parsing this as a shark attack. :eek:
I’ve never had anything more than superficial bites and scratches. I did go to the ER for a bite from a strange dog when I was about 15.
The winner in my family, though, has to be my, let’s see, wife’s mother’s sister’s grandson. Not sure what that makes us. Anyhoo, when he was 5 he was negligently supervised and went out to the barn, because he loved horses. One of the horses damn near killed him with a kick to his midsection. His spleen had to be removed, by which I mean, the doctor said that it was so fully detatched, he just lifted it right out. Easily could have died from internal bleeding, and as a result of the emergency spleen removal he has a major scar.
I guess I kept on hoping it would wear off in a moment - my brain was having a hard time focusing on anything but the symptoms - I didn’t even think to take antihistamines, which I’m sure would have helped a bit.
I too have gotten bitten by a snake when: I was running, it was twilight and I was running too fast to get out of its way so I tried to jump over it and the damn thing didn’t run away but reared up into the air and bit me. Fortunately it was either non-venomous or a dry bite because nothing happened although I did monitor it for infection.
Other than that just some bee stings. The worst was when I was biking and a stinging insect of some sort flew into my mouth. I spit it out but it still bit me on the chin. Thankfully it was just the chin!
I’ve fallen off a horse in every direction that it’s possible to do so, but never got hurt that way. The worst I’ve ever been hurt by an animal is when a horse accidentally stepped on my foot. Didn’t break anything, but it hurt a lot.
I used to be a dog groomer so yeah, I’ve been bitten by several dogs. Never seriously however.
I swear though, when I get rich and powerful and become the ruler of the world, I’m gonna get a big ol’ pack of Scottie dogs to guard my ill-gotten gains. They may be small but they’re all muscle and mouth and can be vicious as all heck. They’ll hit my enemies low and fast. As they go down, the Scotties will tear them to shreds, they will. Insert evil cackle here.
The backs of my hands are covered in scars from the latest cat, which, as a kitten, was a real terror.
I grabbed my dog in an ill-advised manner once and he got hold of my index finger at the base. It was no big deal, but I can still see a quarter-inch scar.
Stung by sea nettles a few times as a kid. Stung by bees, wasps, and yellow jackets on assorted occasions. The worst, tho, was the most recent. I was trying to crate one of our cats for a vet visit and she freaked. I was clawed on one hand and on a breast. My bra was a bloody mess.
Then when we got to the vet, we warned them, and they got out chain mail gloves and stuff, and the stupid cat was just a docile as can be. The brat!
Kneeling on a fire ant mound gave me the most grief.
A fall from a horse. Shattered the bone in my upper right arm and chipped my hip bone. Spent 8 weeks in a gravity cast.
I think my worst was a rat bite from a semi tame wild rat. I tried to pick him up while hand feeding and he latched on to my thumb, He ripped a 1" gash that required stitches.
Another horse one, broken ankle. Horse bolted, couldn’t pull him up, attempted to jump off but one boot got caught in the stirrup. His back leg came down on my free leg.
Could have been a LOT worse.
Horses and dogs…
I fell off my horse and must have landed badly. I spent the next three days in hospital with a lacerated spleen. I also managed to break a bone in my hand during the fall. I knew the hand was broken because I could feel the bones grind and I was trying to get my rings off before everything swelled. I wasn’t sure what else was damaged, just knew by the weird, trippy shit my brain was doing as I lay on the ground that something was not okay. My coach did not make me get up and get back on the horse. Someone else put my horse away while she drove me to the ER.
I’ve had a few dog bites, and a couple of black eyes from getting smashed in the face by their heads. I see stars, the dog always seems oblivious. Ouch.
One knee each to a horse and a dog. First knee from a kick that tore my PCL and required surgery and weeks on crutches to fix. Second knee while playing bitey sports with a dog. I was wearing the suit, and while the dog was biting, I pivoted and tore my ACL. No surgery, just weeks on crutches waiting for it to heal.
By Scotties do you mean Scottish Terriers? I used to have a Chesapeake Bay Retriever, a playful and fun-loving dog, but boy did she have a vicious sounding bark.
As a kid I’ve been stung by hornets and wasps. Not fun, especially as a young kid. A small dog bit my knee when I was 7. Only superficial damage. Yeah, I cried.
That’s about it but once my pride was injured heavily by a large Siberian tiger. We were at the San Francisco Zoo, many years before the 2007 tiger attacks. We were in the ‘big cats’ area, a building with the cages along the perimeter, standing in the middle (far away from any of the cages) when all of a sudden I feel warm water being sprayed on my face. After a second or two I realized it wasn’t water, and that it was a stream of urine coming from a tiger some 20 feet away in its cage and the tiger’s tail was raised and its ass end was pointed at me. And that water didn’t smell like water. :eek: Nasty. People were chuckling.
And then there’s the case of bear-loving Timothy Treadwell and his girlfriend Amie Huguenard up in remote Alaska, and they were eaten alive by bears. And some of the audio was caught on their video recorder. Imagine that, being eaten ALIVE. :shudder:
The Wikipedia page: Timothy Treadwell - Wikipedia
That’s the child of your wife’s first cousin making him and your wife first cousins once removed. He’s no blood relation to you though at least not by that route.
When I was about 6-7, my aunt’s horse-trainer’s dog bit me across the face, including my right eye. I had to wear a patch for a while and my vision is significantly worse in that eye than the other.
I was thrown from one of my horses and hit hard. Fortunately, I was wearing a helmet, but it felt like I fractured my pelvis. X rays didn’t show a break, but it hurt for a good 6 months or more. I still have him.
StG
When I was a kid I literally stepped on a hornet’s nest. Hurt like hell, but fine the next day. Foot stepped on by horses a couple of times, hurts a lot for a couple of days. A few minor dog bites, a cat bite, stung by a Lion fish, all in all nothing all that bad.
I’ve been punched in the eye by an overexcited Greyhound who decided to rear up and plant a paw there. Hurt like hell. I also learned not to lean over a tall dog who is lying down, just on the chance that he might decide to suddenly stand up and ram the top of his cement-like head into the bottom of my jaw. Good thing my tongue was not between my teeth at the time. Having your head in the vicinity of a Greyhound who is wearing a muzzle and decides to smack you with it to get your attention isn’t a great idea either. Saw stars that time.
Anything other than that has been thankfully pretty minor. Scratched by cats, bitten once by my pet chinchilla, a few spider bites.
When I was about ten I went to a neighbor’s house to play. Their family dog evidently saw me as some kind of a threat and bit me in the throat. My Mom took me to the ER. I had four puncture wounds and the Doctor told Mom that one of them had missed my jugular vein by less than an eighth of an inch. The ER cleaned the punctures out and gave me a shot of some kind. The dog, never having had a Rabies shot, was taken to the humane society. The Rabies test came back negative, and the dog was evidently destroyed. The neighbor kid never forgave me.