Hey, I know this should probably go in GQ, but someone’s probably gonna flame me for being stupid. It is a pretty stupid question.
I’m wondering: What’s that lever on the left-hand side of the steering wheel for. When I move it, a little light blinks on my dash, and I hear a little clicky sound. But it doesn’t seem to do anything other than that. Actually, it makes two little lights blink, but not both at the same time. And the lights are shaped sorta like arrows. Is this like a reminder for me, so I don’t forget which way I was going to turn? I really don’t need that, since I’m a real good driver. My mother says I am.
They spend so much time and money designing and building these cars, you’d think it’d have some purpose. I mean, the other lever sets off those black swishy things, and I found out if I press the button at the end, some stuff squirts on my front window. That’s a really cool invention. I can’t see out the window for a few seconds, but it’s still cool.
So what’s this lever for? Also, why do I see people flipping me off whenever I make a turn? It’s not like I can tell them where I’m going from inside the car, is it? I wish there was some way to let people know I’m turning. I’d invent something, but I’m not too good at electricky stuff. Let me know, guys. I’m not good at figuring stuff out, 'cause I can’t think about more than one thing at a time.
that lever? Just push it downward until it clicks and leave it on forever. If the “tink-tink-tink” sound gets to bug you, just turn the radio up louder.
It makes that little clicky sound so you’ll know that your engine’s running. And people shoot you the bird when you turn because you left your engine on. Your suppose to move your ignition switch to “Lock” before you make either a right or left turn. Didn’t you take Driver’s Ed?
Those are ballast indicators.
If you are turning left, you should flick the lever up, so the ballast shifts right and you do not flip over. And vice-versa if you’re turning right.
You really didn’t know that? I’m surprised you haven’t been killed yet.
Syzygy, I’m guessing you don’t drive a Toyota. Based on what I know about the lever and what I’ve seen on the roads, Toyotas either don’t have that lever or it doesn’t move.
I have a friend who actually laughs at my use of turn signals (ie, i use them). She tells me that when I’ve been driving longer, I won’t bother with them. It’s such a “new driver” thing, that whole crazy following the rules shit.
Unsurprisingly, her driving makes me extremely nervous.
I’ve seen people use them to get their ear wax out. But you have to be careful not to bump your head while you’re doing it, because most roads just aren’t that smooth…
Nope, y’all are wrong. It’s to give you something to look at when you’re bored with lookin’ at traffic. Flick it randomly. Play games with it, see if you can cut it off exactly in mid-blink. Try and play tunes with the “clickity” sound. I bet if you practice real hard, you can play “Moonlight Sonata” on it.
Wish I could recall which standup comic had a hilarious bit on this very topic. He had some hick riding in a car with another driver, and when the driver signals, the hick hollers, “Whut’s thayt clickin’ noise??”
I did the same poll in Chicago - no one knew what it was here, either. It can’t be important - it’s too easy to use - just a little flick of the wrist. I wonder what it does.
I just found this button with a red triangle on it. When I pressed it, BOTH arrows started to blink! That’s really cool! It’s like a disco in my dash. I think I’ll keep those on all the time.
gatopescado, thanks for the tip! My lights are really bright now. It’s so much easier to see everything. In fact, it’s helped other drivers. They turn their really bright lights on too as they go by. I guess I reminded them that the lever’s there.
And I do drive a Toyota, and live in NY. Why do you ask?
Hey, Syzygy! While yer pokin’ about yer dashboard, you might check out the round thingy between you and the dash. Some call it a steering wheel, but it don’t look like no cattle I ever saw. Anyway, if you poke at it long enough, you’ll find a spot or two where it makes a big ‘ol noise when you poke it. Jes’ be careful… the first time I did that, I wuz so skerred I spilt me beer. I think it’s kinda neat. Seeing as ya can’t talk to the other drivers, you can use that loud ‘ol noise to do yer talkin’ for you! I use mine alla the time. I speccially like to talk to people stuck in traffic jams with it. I guess they like it too, ‘cause they wave back at me. It’s funny… Lotsa careless machinists on the road these days, I guess, cause all them people wavin’ at me seem to be missing all but one of their fingers. Mebbe it’s one of them cults I been hearing about…
Anyway, I was stuck in traffic agin the other day, an’ one fella seemed so happy fer me talking to him with the big noise, that he got out of his car and came back to mine to talk. I guerss it was pretty hot out there, 'cause he wuz all red in the face. I don’t much like the heat, so I kept my window rolled up and the A/C on. He kept banging on my window and yelling, but my music was up too laoud, so I jest talked back with my big noise. It musta been pretty hot out there, 'cuase he jest kept gittin redder 'n redder. Pretty soon, he got tired and went to sit down down by the road. Pretty soon, I guess he decided to take a nap, and he layed down right there by the road.
People sur are frendly round here, cause some other folk got out and went to talk to the guy on the road side. Pretty soon, one of them wuz kissing him, and another was playing patty-cake on his chest. I ain’t never seen anyone play patty-cake like that before. I’m gunna have ta show the family next time I get home. Well, 'bout this time, the traffic started movin, so I said “bye” to all the nice folk with that loud ‘ol wheel noise, and waved at them. I was feelin’ pretty friendly myself, so I though I’d wave like they did, using just the one finger. I guess they liked that well enough, and one fella suggested I take the day off. He kept yellin somethin about “sunny beach”, so that’s where I went. Nice folks!
It’s an electronic tracking device that sends a signal out to a big tower in Minneapolis. If used too close to the tower, it may cause the destruction of your entire electrical system. Most people in the state have been advised and take all necessary precautions.
I got a button on my steering wheel that when you push it it writes your resume. At least that’s what it says it does, “resume”. I figger the printer must be outa paper, but if I need a job, I’ll be using that button for sure.
Gawd you’re dumb Syzygy… that button that makes both arrows blink, well, if you press that one it means you can park anywhere you want for 5 minutes, for instance to get out and use the ATM or to go buy some coffee and bagels. Everyone seems to know this.
