TCMS, ok, here’s what gefilte fish is.
Imagine taking every fish ever discovered throughout the history of mankind, from great white shark to the minnows, and throwing them all into a blender. Throw in a few duck billed platypuses for flavor. Now, compact them all into androgynous crescent lumps, lather with congealed fat, and you’re ready to serve.
Surprisingly tasty…and I don’t even like fish.
Now if I could only get the Yiddish characters to show up properly…
This is one Gentile who is absolutely mad about matzoh and gefilte fisch. And matzoh ball soup. I don’t care what yinzall sez about it, that shit is the bomb. I used to piss off all the Jewish students at Georgetown by hogging all the gefilte fisch when the cafeteria folk set it out for Passover.
Of course I also prefer it with chopped liver, which probably violates some Passover rules or other but I can deal with that. Besides, the dude on New Jewish Cuisine showed me how to make a matzoh ceviche (salmon and another fish) and a matzoh fritata, which means there are probably hundreds of different recipes you can make with matzoh that won’t violate kashrut while you’re chowing down for the holidays.
Mauvaise, I never had it with butter and pickles. That one I’m gonna have to try real soon.
Ike - never heard of brei either. Mrs. O would have a fit over the amount of fat that would go into it but YHWHdammit, I’m gonna make some up if I ever find some chicken fat.
Oh, and Ender - quitcherkvetchin’ and find some ways to flavor it up. Obviously yer brethren and sisters know how to make it good without breaking the kashrut, so there’s no reason for you to sit on your whiny tuches and eat the stuff straight.
Sneeze, don’t listen to Ender. What does he know - he doesn’t even like matzoh!! 
Basically you can think of gefilte fish like a hamburger, only made with ground fish instead of beef and served cold. And no sharks and minnows are used :rolleyes: ;). If properly made, one uses only the best white fish. When making from scratch, it’s a 2 day process of boiling, deboning, chilling, mixing, molding, etc.
And they are YUMMY!!!
Jeg elsker dig, Thomas
Matzoh…mmmmmmmm!!
Love matzoh. Eat it all year. Especially egg matzoh. And matzoh balls. NOT, however, for 8 days straight. I don’t think there’s anything I could eat for 8 days straight & still end up liking.
On the other hand, this is the only time of year I can get haroset. YUMMMM! Especially surprising since I don’t normally care for nuts. I’ve gotta learn how to make that stuff.
Seder also got me hooked on horseradish, and even convinced me to try chicken liver. I do NOT, however, eat gefilte fish. Under any circumstance whatsover. I have a clay gefilte fish (with missing bite) handcrafted for me by my friend, just so I can keep up appearances without even having to have that … stuff … on my plate.
Ender, my Hebrew teacher in college made us almond roca matzah at Pesach. Even you would like that. Mmmmm…
(BTW, you couldn’t cut a day off if you were in Israel, because you’re only allowed to end holidays an extra day early if you a. own land in Eretz Yisrael or b. live there for an entire cycle of holidays. FYI.)
Pathmark Chunky Peanut Butter. My mom’s spiced peach jam. Matzoh. OOOoooooooh god, heaven.
I adore it SO much, I simply must have some. Now. If I wasn’t into my second coffee mug full of Chardonnay, I’d go to the 24-hour stupidmarket for some matzoh and make my mouth happy.
Tomorrow…
And, egg matzoh? I mean, please. Spare me. It’s MEANT to be the color of the desert !!!
L’Chaim
Moishe Cartooniverse
I once bought a jar of commercial gefilte fish. I got it home, opened the jar, and was threatened with my life for the smell. It’s not Pesach without gefilte fish.
And FTR, in all the time I’ve made matzah brei, I’ve never used chicken fat. (Schmaltz is verboten in my family, for some reason. Prolly the cholesterol.) If you cook a whole chicken, you can use the fat from that.
Robin
Two words: butter and salt. OK, cream cheese also (so they say, I myself am a hard core b&s afficianado).
BTW, there is no obligation to eat any matzo on Passover other than at the sedorim (seders). As long as one does not eat leavened products.
Also, kyla’s rules for observing holidays on Israeli terms are incorrect. It depends on whether one plans on taking up permanent residence in Israel, or plan to move back out of the country. (The reverse applies to Israelis who are outside Israel during the holidays.)
Gefilte fish is meant to be eaten with chrain (a beets and horseraddish concoction).
Oh and one more thing - the second paragraph of the OP is completely idiotic, and unworthy of even this forum.
Just hide that Matzoh underneath a big, thick steak.
If 10 people order steak it becomes filet minyan.
Oh guys, leave off ender. He’s hungry and he can’t cook. Anyone would be cranky.
I worked in a Jewish deli/bagel shop/little coffee place. Used matzah for soup crakers and with the flavored cream cheeses. Not bad stuff at all. But I could see how it would get annoying. (I’m easily bored)
Ah, Matzoh. Am I the only non-Jew who buys it simply because they like it? Crackers with butter… yum! Matzoh Ball Soup… oh, yes!
A friend took me to Passover seder a few times. Wow.
redtail: Egg matzoh? Have you tried onion matzoh? That one’s not so bad…it’s dry as dust and stale-tasting just like regular matzoh, but with a strange off-taste of dehydrated onions!
I dunno if there’s a reason to use schmaltz instead of butter in matzohbrei…I just prefer the flavor. And I don’t think chicken fat is any worse for you than butter.
I absolutely love whole wheat matzah with butter. It’s great! I buy the big boxes this time of year and eat it year round.
Duly noted. Does Manischewitz make any or do I gotta dig up the recipe out of a cookbook? I note the lexical similarity with the Russian khren, which means both “root” and “horseradish”.
So does schmaltz mean chicken fat or just animal fat in general? And whence the association with maudlin entertainment?
Beelzebub must have gotten a focus group to work that one out, because only a minyan of Satan could come up with such a diabolical pun.
Well, to be honest, I just threw it in because I thought it would be funny. But, while I don’t want to hijack the levity of this thread, I will at least defend my statements.
OK, I totally support the work that the rabbis do to inspect the factories, make sure every aspect of the process is kosher, and ultimately bless the final product so we can consume it. But there are certain things that strike me a bit odd.
For instance:
there is cake and cookie mix we use to bake. Completely kosher for Passover. It’s a bread product. It does rise when it bakes. We eat it. How are we not breaking the laws of pesach? How is it that we can eat that but not raw corn?
Diet coke. Every passover they’d come out with a special can for us to buy. It is, by its very nature, kosher for passover. It’s already kosher and there’s no corn syrup in it. Now if, for whatever reason you want to give me, there’s some newfangled process they put the can through, some secret extra ingredient they add in to make it kashrut, I can’t find it. But let’s assume there is. Tell me what they did to it that allows them to jack up the price by FOUR TIMES its normal price? I had no idea liquid gold was kosher for passover.
C’mon. It’s a scam. We should just admit that they’re jacking up the price on almost all of the products because we have no choice in the matter. We have to buy it and so they’ll make us pay. There is a cost to making sure its kosher. There is a cost to paying the rabbi to bless the food. But it’s not that much.
Getting back to the thread…
Hey, I like gefilte fish! I like matzah ball soup! I like horoset (made certain ways). The food ain’t bad…I could just use a Subway sandwich right about now.
Yup. Egg matzoh. I’m not entirely sure what the difference is, but I assume that the matzoh has egg added. I dunno if it’s internal or brushed on or what. I just like the taste.
Onion matzoh? Never even seen it. Way out here, we’re lucky if we get a full endcap for Passover supplies at any of the local supermarkets. Usually, there’s about 2 feet of one shelf dedicated to kosher products. There may be a larger market up in the city, but since we don’t normally keep kosher I haven’t gone looking.
Yup. Egg matzoh. I like it. So there.
Onion matzoh? Never even seen it. Way out here, we’re lucky if we get a full endcap for Passover supplies at any of the local supermarkets. Usually, there’s about 2 feet of one shelf dedicated to kosher products. There may be a larger market up in the city, but since we don’t normally keep kosher I haven’t gone looking.
Olentzero
I don’t know if Manischewitz makes it, but somebody does - it is definitely a manufactured product. (We usually buy the brand called Noam Gourmet, but I doubt if this is sold where you shop). Maybe try for Golds Horseraddish (though my wife says it’s not as good as NG).
Your note about the Russian origin of the word Chrain is interesting, but not surprising. Many well known “Jewish” foods are not Jewish at all, but merely happened to get introduced to the American public by the first immigrants to America from that food’s native country - who happened to be Jewish.
Enderw24
I don’t object to your complaining about the price gouging on Passover products, which have a long history. (They are the work of the manufacturers - not the Kosher certifying agencies). What I objected to is your miscategorizing the work of the kosher supervising agencies as a “some rabbi can sneeze in its general direction”. You can ridicule all you want, but in this instance your scorn was based on your own ignorance - specifically, your misimpression - later repeated - that kosher certification has something to do with a Rabbi blessing the food. This has no basis in fact at all. Actually, no sneezing or blessing are done at all in connection with certifying a product as kosher. The sole object of the certification is to attest that the food has no ingredients that would render it unkosher. IOW, a Rabbi certifying the food does not make the food kosher any more than the health department certifying makes makes it healthy, they are merely certifying as to the actual status of the food.
For more info, see the world’s smartest human, as he fights ignorance about this subject in this column, and in this one. Also our worthy C K Dext Havn addressed some Passover issues in this mailbag article.
With regard to your specific questions: I would venture that your cake mix is made of potato starch or matzo meal. Not flour. Hence, the leavening is not an issue.
As for Diet Coke, I believe aspertame is generally made with kitniyos. Halachic opinions differ as to its status on Passover. But I am very surprised that Diet Coke would be selling at 4 times it’s normal price at Passover time. In my area there are special bottles of Coke and Pepsi that are Kosher for Passover (made with sugar and not corn syrup), but they sell for the exact same price as regular Pepsi and Coke.
The cost of the actual certification, spread out among all the many items sold, is negligible. It is, however, a standard canard of Anti-Semites that this added cost is considerable and constitutes a secret “Jew Tax” being paid by all the good Gentiles of America to fund the Cabal of the Jewish Elders. Or whatever.
In general, as food technology has become more complex there are more and more items that need kosher certification, because of the numerous ingredients, which themselves have sub-ingredients etc. My parents remember a time when people could buy products without any certification, simply by checking the ingredients, but those days are long gone now.
But again I do agree that there is price gouging associated with Passover foods. This has to do with the limited competition in a very short-duration market. Possibly other factors as well. It is my understanding that the problem has abated somewhat in recent years (among other things, there has been a government crackdown in the NYC area). I don’t know what the cost of the machine made matzo is. I buy the round hand-made stuff, which goes for about $14 a pound. Which is a lot, but the process of making it properly is very expensive. I don’t think it is excessive. I also don’t buy a whole lot.
Holy crap! I came here for a rant and I end up learning something. Imagine that.
Thanks IzzyR.
To be honest, I don’t know what KfP Diet Coke goes for right now. I don’t really drink soft drinks anymore. But I do know that when my parents used to buy it for us it was expensive. VERY expensive. It took several years to convince my mom to stop wasting her money on the Diet drinks.
I’ll check out prices tomorrow if I can. It would be interesting to comparison shop across the US.
Indeed it would, Ender. But, the gas, tolls, lodging and automotive maintentance would kill ya 
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