The dating scene is a scary thing for sure. I agree Tenn… there are definitely some odd people out there, both online and not. I guess like everything, you just have to take chances and see what comes of it, if nothing else, you will probably make some great new friends along the way.
We are, each of us angels with only one wing,and we can only fly by embracing one another
Oh yeah… something that always amazes me is that people automatically think that because you are a single parent, you are looking to be supported or taken care of. I’ve been working since I was 14 and take care of myself and my son very well. The last thing I want is to get into something with someone who is well off and controlling because they feel I need them.
We are, each of us angels with only one wing,and we can only fly by embracing one another
The modern dating scene is internet romances, heavely covered in the message base already.
It’s the simplest, most easy way to have a relationship ever invented.
Everyone getting into the dating scene, listen up!
I am just beginning to untangle myself from a nightmare that started off as a romance. And I’m not talking about the regular divorce BS, this person turned out to be a psychopathic pathological liar, for real!
He lied about:
Where he was from, who his parents were, his age, how many kids he had…
This person was also addicted to online porn and online affairs…
has all kinds of mental problems that require pills to keep him socitially functional.
None of this I found out until AFTER we were married. He seemed like a normal person, until litterally, we were driving home from Vegas. ( So I’m not one for frills, okay? :))
We stopped off at a diner and he got all upset because of the close proximity of the other patrons to our table! And it went straight down the cliff from there.
He also can’t say “no” when someone says, “sign here,” so on top of everything else, I’m financially ruined as well.
He’s verbally manipulative and has been doing these stupid games for so long that most of it he actually believes is true.
My advice? DO A BACKGROUND CHECK ON ANYONE YOU MEET!
Sorry, I hit a button before I was done with my post.
Remember: It is really easy for people to tell you their age, place of birth, whatever. Who checks!?
I know you may be thinking, big deal, the guy lied about where he was from. But! He tells people he grew up in a foreign country and has an accent and the whole deal, vernacular and everything, and the truth is he was born and raised right in this state! Everybody at his work still thinks he’s from this other country, it’s unbelievable!
I feel really embarrassed when I have to explain this stuff to people, because everybody thinks you must be some kind of moron to fall for something like this.
I never thought to ask for an ID. I never thought to ask for a birth certificate. Since we got married in Vegas, he was able to lie about his place of birth right on the marriage certificate.
There’s a lot more to this story that I’m leaving out, it’s really been a nightmare for me. Everybody, please be careful!
And where did I meet him? Online, of course. We swapped emails for a couple of months, then went to the phone. Then we met. He seemed perfect! We liked the same pizza, movies, had all kinds of things in common… And now I know why, he was PRETENDING to like everything I did so I’d like him!
I know some of you are thinking, well, I would have seen through that. I used to think that too, when I’d see those women on TV.
If I ever go on another date, and I’m sure not saying I will, my date is going to have to bring lots of documentation with him, and submit to a lie detector test and full background check.
This whole thing just makes me ILL! Please learn from my mistake!! BE CAREFUL!!!
Thank you for your time,
Meow
Like I wasn’t nervous enough already.
One good thing, though. I can be absolutely certain that nobody will woo me for my money.
Awww, blast!
I just asked my bookish coworker out to lunch for a second time. The first time it was after lunch, and I suggested some time later in the week. She said she wasn’t going to be in later in the week, but maybe another time. Then I saw her later in the week, and said howdy, but she didn’t seem to hear me.
Anyway, so today asked her to go to lunch with me today. It was 11:30 AM, so I figured it was a lunchy kind of time to ask. First I told her that my assignment is ending soon. She said she still had some work to do, but that it was nice meeting me, and she wished me good luck getting a new assignment.
One thing I don’t like is when they halfway-reject you the first time to soften you up, and then totally reject you the second time. It would’ve been much easier if she had just said she wasn’t interested the first time.
Blast
Any similarity in the above text to an English word or phrase is purely coincidental.
Meow: sorry about your bad experience.
One thing to guard against that, is to ask to meet your love interest’s friends and family.
Who should pay on the first date? As was said before, the person who asked “should” pay. But I think the person being asked should offer to share expenses. If they insists on it, let them share the expense.
Is chivalry dead? By that, if you mean sexism, I hope it is. If you mean good manners, no it isn’t (or shouldn’t be.) Regardless of gender, if you’re first at the door, open it for the other person. Open the car door for your date first. etc…
TennHippie asks : Where do people go to meet other people?
I personally think the best bet is doing volunteer or non-profit work. Pick an organization in accordance with your beliefs/opinions, and volunteer in some of their activities.
TennHippie, you pegged online romance perfectly (sadly). I have yet to have a successful relationship that started on the web. In fact the only meaningful relationships I have had started out as friendship . . . and you can’t plan that it just happens. Good luck all.
What I’d like to know is where are all of you great guys hanging out at?
When you work all day, fighting traffic both ways, you get home ready to stay there.
Bars are no place to meet anyone besides a friend or a lay.
Bookstores, coffee shops, places like these the people seem so intent on themselves, it is hard to purposely intrude.
Where the Heck are You!?
[quote]
I can be absolutely certain that nobody will woo me for my money.
[quote]
My ex had a $75,000/yr job, a private plane (and pilot’s license), a cool Austin Healey 3000 and the most emotionally cruel and abusive insecurity issues on the planet.
It ain’t about the money.
StoryTyler
“Not everybody does it, but everybody should.”
I Spy Ty.
Kat: So…are you cute?
Yes, but why? You interested? Of course you are!!! If you really are interested, go to YAHOO!!! personals and look for inertia_42. That’s me (male, 29, agnostic)
TennHippie: I, too, am having difficulty locating an acceptable companion. It seems to me that all of the good ones are already taken. My situation is compounded by the fact that I don’t know ANYONE outside of work (and I ain’t even goin’ there) for a few hundred miles. I do have a roommate, but she’s no help either.
I did consider joining a chapter of Habitat for Humanity with the alterior motive of meeting people (not just women), but they want more stability of schedule than I can offer. I am often out-of-town on business during weekends (which may be a contributing factor as to why I am single now.) Last weekend I was in San Francisco. The next two weekends I’ll be in San Diego. You really feel for me don’t you [world’s smallest violin . . .]?
zyada: After running down your list of criteria (if criteria they are), I’d say it is a very reasonable list. My list is slightly different, but it’s not challenging (on paper anyway) in the least and yet no one seems to be able to get all of the check marks. What is my list?[ul][li]intelligent[]caring/considerate[]at least average physical fitnessreason-able. I don’t go for histerics and/or drama. Just tell me what you want.[/ul]I couldn’t find your thread, try as I might.[/li]
handy: If dating has been reduced to interfacing via the internet, I gotta’ move to a third world country, pronto.
Meow: The women on tv are written to be transparent. Real life is NEVER that easy. I hope that after you’ve checked the next guy’s documentation you can begin to trust him without it eventually.
Boris B: I think what you’ve hit upon is a basic dissimilarity between men and women. Women are all about very veiled, very subtle communication. It’s kind of like they want . . . no, expect us to read their minds. Exasperating isn’t it?
PrivyQueen: I’m not sure I’m your type.
I sure hope I didn’t mess up the HTML.
Everything looks better in black and white – Paul Simon
inertia it’s ok. 
Actually, I was blessed last year, when I met my husband. But I have girlfriends that have the same problems that I mentioned. My question was more a plea for the still young (but over 25) and single professional gals. The question still needs to be answered.
View every exit as an entrance someplace else
Meow - I’m sorry you had such a bad experience.
I had a friend who went through a similar relationship. He pretended to be British, plus several other things. She found out one week after the wedding that he was still married to some one else. She only found out because her mother didn’t trust the guy and had him investigated.
And my very first boyfriend (age 14) was a pathological liar. And I had been something of a friend of his for a couple of years. The experience hurt deeply & made it hard for me to trust myself for many years afterwards at some level. It wasn’t until I was in therapy for another reason that I got the information I needed to put this behind me. The good thing about this incident is that I learned very well how to tell when a person was lying.
…in a state so nonintuitive it can only be called weird…
I have been seeing one guy for almost a year (there are some drastic changes to this situation that I may post at another time), but when I am not in an exclusive relationship, I date fairly regular.
Here is my list of suggestions on what a man can do to get a second date, although others may not agree.
Don’t be too obvious in trying to impress me. I tend to be drawn to somewhat egotistical and confident men and don’t mind hearing about their good jobs or
how much they can bench press, as long as they understand that a little bit
goes a long way. Too much confidence tells me you’re insecure and then you become boorish.
Talk to me. Don’t sit there with a look on your face that tells me you wish you were someplace else. I am pretty outgoing and open, but if you don’t respond to me and tell me your thoughts and feelings, I get the impression that you are (1) an uninteresting person, (2) hiding something, or (3) don’t like me. If it is one of tghe three we probably won’t go out again.
I love conversation, but I hate to be the only one to carry it.
The exception to this is to tell me (if true) details of a good relationship you now have with her. Not much impresses me more than a guy who can be civil to someone he once loved no matter how hard the breakup. It says a lot about a mans integrity.
Make me laugh without forcing it. I love a great sense of humor, but don’t be too obvious, otherwise you look dumb.
I you ask me out, ask for my suggestions but still take charge of the date. Nothing is more awkward than being asked on a date and then having the man ask you what you want to do. You know how much you can afford, please don’t put me on the spot trying to guess.
Be a gentleman, but even more so, treat me like a someone you enjoy being with. Dates are much more fun when you feel like you can laugh out loud, make jokes, and be yourself. I despise stuffy dates where I feel like I am dating the poster-child for Gentlemen-R-Us. I want to feel relaxed.
Don’t paw me on the first date, but give subtle hints that I have the power to make you horny, baby. Hold my hand, smell my hair, kiss me, and give me that look that says “Damn, if this wasn’t our first date we would be ripping each others clothes off.”
Don’t tell me things that you think I want to hear. It is easy to tell when a guy is trying too hard to impress. Be yourself.
Don’t tell me about how wasted you and the guys got last weekend. Don’t get drunk on our date and don’t brag about how many beers you can chug before you puke. I want to date a man, not a college boy. (No insult to you college boys intended)
Smile and let me know you are having as good of a time as I am.
As far as meeting people to date, they are everywhere. Just look friendly and approachable and you’ll find them.