What's your all purpose, ass covering disclaimer in answering SDMB questions?

I likedthis disclaimer by Caffine.addict who CYA’s himself with this classic.

Here’s the one I used when giving advice about hacking the Motorola RAZR cell phone on a portable phone forum.

What’s your disclaimer?

“Does this disclaimer make my ass look fat?”

“Take into account that I’m drunk.”

“Sometimes I intentionally mislead people for fun, however what I’d do is…”

I don’t tend to use a disclaimer much myself, but my favorite observed disclaimer is from the editorial page of Modern Drunkard Magazine:

Nice to see another MDM reader around.

My disclaimer is now my sig line.

Roddy

Which I see on preview but not after posting (I don’t know why, I see other people’s sig lines), so in case you can’t see it either, here it is:

“Have you ever done this sort of thing?”
“Never.”
“You have no idea, then, how best to begin?”
“Why, I may have formed some ideas on the subject, but as I have never submitted them to the test of experience, I should be sorry if you were induced to regulate your proceedings by them.”

“Herr Doktor puts the mad in mad scientist. Advice given by him may violate the laws of your area or the laws of physics. Herr Doktor is never wrong, but he may have been thinking of a parallel universe when he answered your question. In conclusion, damage due to use of abnormal brains is the sole liability of Shegor.”

Ymmv :d

This advise is worth exactly how much you paid for it.

“This advise is worth exactly how much you paid for it.”

Spelling expertise extra.

“I don’t know what the fuck I’m talking about, but pretending for the sake of argument that I do…”

Unless specifically stated otherwise, all numbers are rectally derived.

“I should not speak so boldly were it my due to be believed.”

“–but, of course, I’m one of those ‘total dipsticks’ you’ve heard about.”

I’m only half as stupid as a look.

Bah, that would be “I’m only half as stupid as I look.”

You sure?

I actually had the opportunity to post a disclaimer here.